fandomtownies | The Perk- Wednesday morning

Entry tags:

The Perk- Wednesday morning

Somewhere along the line, Jaina's life had gotten crazy enough that getting a few days in Fandom was a relief. She'd started the day by talking to Jag and the boys and she missed them a ton, but it was also nice to feel well-rested sometimes. Twenty years of people telling her to take a break and it finally stuck after a couple kids and an Empire to run.

Though, she was also happy to get coffee before doing anything, and say at a table with a dataad to see everything she was missing so she hadn't changed too much.

"What's with the surprise pumpkin spice?" she called to the barista. "It's August."

[Open!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Huh," Kanan said, looking up at the menu. "Pumpkin spice."

Of course he ordered a cup of coffee, instead. It wasn't quite caf, and it never would be, but caf involved effort today, and Kanan's spoons for making-a-pot-of-caf effort were ones that he'd rather save for actually existing in the world, instead.

They gave him a pumpkin spice latte regardless. He sighed, rolled his eyes, and took it. One last reminder of that fish, he supposed. At least he kind of unironically actually enjoyed the taste.

"Morning," he greeted, nodding over to Jaina. "Enjoying your island getaway so far?"

You know, to post-trauma Fandom. Super relaxing place.

"So far. Nothings exploded at home, the kids are still in one piece, and I'm very good at blocking other people out," Jaina said, looking up at him. "How are you doing?"

"Besides the whole 'other people are exhausting' thing," Kanan said, smiling wryly, "on better footing, I think. Having a tomorrow to work toward makes it easier to stop being stuck in yesterday."

He paused, then added, "The coffee doesn't hurt, either."

Even if it was pumpkin spice.

"Told you so," she smiled, because she was that brat. "Are prople exhausting because everyone's brains are going off, or because you've shut them out and still have to deal with them anyway?"

"More that first one than that second one," Kanan admitted. "It's been a while since I've worked on shutting people out in particular. It wasn't really a problem when I was cutting myself off from everything."

So his options were a little bit 'all or nothing' until he got back into the swing of it, and it was messing with his head.

"I imagine it's a matter of time before I have to deal with them anyway... anyway. But I wouldn't mind being able to connect to the Force without having so much turbulence to go along with it so that they at least have to hunt me down first."

It wasn't like he couldn't guess that Kaidan was trying to sic everyone on the island on him after last week. They'd met.

Jaina gestured to the seat across from her.

"If you can cut yourself off, then you can cut others off without closing yourself off completely. It's just a matter of knowing where to stop it."

Kanan nodded and took a seat, setting his drink down on the table and wrapping both hands around it, just kind of using the warmth as a touchstone.

"It's that similar, is it?"

"You can visualize it the same kind of way, anyway. I learned it in the opposite direction- blocking people was easy, but being invisible was harder." She'd actually never done it since going after Jacen, either. "Honestly, a lot of using the Force is just figuring out which particular way to direct it."

She frowned. "I've only actually been teaching for a few months, you might have to bear with me a little."

"Hey, I can be patient," Kanan replied, letting go of his drink to hold up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "This is still more than I've had in a while. I'll take it."

He tilted his head, considering.

"I suppose with my focus on hiding being so absolute, it never really occurred to me to try anything less extreme."

He wasn't exactly going to dabble in only using some of what painted a target on his back. Not until recently.

"Less extreme, with a different focus," she said, glancing around the coffee shop. "Want to test it?"

"I would very much like to test it," Kanan agreed. "I could use some work with re-learning how to focus, anyway."

"All right. Without looking around, I want you to reach out and get a sense for how many people are in here," she said. "Just get an idea of the people around you, how many people there are, if there are any strong emotions you're catching."

There shouldn't be a lot. Honestly the strongest presence would be Jaina, who was always ready to be angry about something or other.

Kanan nodded and blew out a breath, closing his eyes and reaching out through the Force.

Of course there was Jaina - difficult to miss, all things considered, and... he'd classify that as 'prepared.' There were a couple of people having a conversation near one of the windows. One of them seemed upset, possibly about the weekend. The other, fine enough. The barista, exasperated as always, likely about the pumpkin spice, today. A squirrel near the ceiling...

"There's one person across the room," he said, eyes still closed, "who seems to be upset about something. Possibly the weekend, but that's just a guess."

"Remember that, don't dwell on it too much," Jaina said. "Reach out further, doing the same thing. People who might be on the street, next door. If you find someone with strong emotions, remember that too."

Kanan nodded, taking note before reaching beyond the walls of the Perk. He took note of everyone, for a moment at least. Dismissed those who seemed to be fine. Filed away those who weren't.

"How far should I reach...?"

"As far as you're comfortable. No need to grab the brains or the whole island or anything," Jaina said. "Take note, remember, move on."

Kanan nodded, breathed in, and reached out a little further. The radius of a block seemed like a nice happy medium. Something easy enough to keep track of. The water in one direction, he could dismiss. And he'd stop just shy of the Arms, because... the hotel would be a little much, at the moment.

"Okay," he said, and nodded.

"And all those feelings I told you to remember... you're going to shut the door on them," she said.

She hoped that kind of visualization was enough. Her own personal way tended to involve slamming up barriers without mercy.

"Just... shut the door," Kanan echoed, a faintly amused smile on his face. The terminology was definitely straightforward. It also meant he had to try to apply what he knew to it. Like closing off from the Force, she'd said. His smile faded, and he reached to the farthest of the minds that he'd taken note of.

And then, with some effort, he shut the door.

The next one went a little more smoothly, since he wasn't guessing at whether he was even doing it right. And then two more, at once. Three.

All.

Opening his eyes, he simply sat there for a moment, appreciating the silence. And then he sighed in relief.

"It'll get easier to do, too," Jaina told him, recognizing that look. "Feel better?"

"Much," Kanan confirmed, closing his eyes and sliding back in his seat a little. "Thank you."

This was the quietest it had been since Friday, and Friday had been right on the heels of a pretty rough week. This, he could appreciate.

"It's literally what I'm here for," she said, sipping her coffee. (It wasn't that she minded the pumpkin spice, she minded that it was unexpected.) "How long have you been back at the Jedi thing?"

"Less than a year," Kanan replied, frowning faintly. "I picked up my lightsaber training again after I met Hera. Only did a little meditating here and there, otherwise. There was a short while when Master Kenobi was on the island, before then. He got me to try reaching into the Force again, but I didn't really..."

He waved a hand a little, letting her fill in that blank. It wasn't like it wasn't obvious he'd done what the Master had suggested and then ran like hell all over again the moment he was gone.

"You weren't ready yet," she said simply.

Kanan nodded, head still bowed.

"I was too afraid," he agreed. "Better afraid and hiding from the Force than terrified and lashing out through it."

And he'd done a lot of lashing out over the years, too.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject