fandomtownies | [Wherein Krycek and Jake go to the Millennium Falcon]

Heading down into town, Krycek lead the way east towards the junkyard and the white ship near it. Approaching the Falcon, Jake in tow, he knocked on the side and waited to explain to whoever answered that they needed to search the ship for the art teacher, who was possibly tied up under his own bed. Or maybe buried up a tree.

Chewbacca comes down the ramp and stares at the boys as if to ask "What do you need?"

Krycek looks at Jake, then addresses Chewbacca politely. "Sir," he begins, hoping very much that he's not being insulting."We need access to the ship in order to search for Professor Williams. We have reason to believe that the Professor we've seen lately is a fake and the real Professor is being incarcerated, possibly in his quarters."

He holds up the gadget they got from Spider via Rory Gilmore. "We have use of a life-sign detector, which will show anything alive and of at least human-size within one hundred yards, if you don't mind me initiating it here on the premises." Krycek figures it's best to be as polite as possible when treading on the territory of a large hairy being uninvited.

Chewbacca looks at the device, nods, and points up the ramp.

He's never lost a paying customer yet, and doesn't want to start now.

He pulls out his translator and says something into it. He turns it for Krycek to see.

It reads "Third hatch to the left after the lounge. Please to help any of my cub's friends."

Jake pokes his head over Krycek's shoulder to read the translator. "Cool. You've been here before, right?" to Krycek. "So you know the way?" He idly points the G-Reader towards Chewbacca, looking a little puzzled at the readings, before shrugging.

Chewbacca looks at the G-reader and the boy. He stoops right into Jake's face and bares his fangs with a snarl, but there is no malice in his blue eyes. He follows this with a snort.

The translator reads: "And what did you expect readings to look like, little one? [untranslatable laughter sound]"

Jake looks amused as he reads the translation. "I had no idea, that's why I did a reading."

Chewbacca ruffles his hair and points up the ramp.

Krycek leans over to look at the G-Reader, blinking. "Alien DNA? ...That's kind of nonspecific." He looks up at Chewbacca. "Thank you, sir. We'll try and make this quick."

Turning to go towards where he remembers the lounge to be, he nods at Jake, finally answering the question. "I visited on Spider's behalf before. Han's a pretty welcoming guy," he says off-handedly, turning on the life-sign detector.

Jake eyed him. "And with welcoming you mean..?"

Krycek looks up at Jake from reading the detector. "I mean that he's a nice guy," he says mildly. "And here's the room." Stopping outside the hatch, he glances at the gadget. "Looks like he's in there. Shall we?"

Jake eyed him for a moment longer, then shrugged. "Sure, ...Under the bed, am I right?"

Krycek nods, opening the hatch and following the mark on the device. Over to the bed and then crouching to peek underneath. "Professor Williams? Can you hear me?"

::thumps head against the floor as he's gagged and bound::

::has really big puppy-dog eyes::

"...Okay, now I'm creeped out," Jake said, crouching down beside Krycek to stare at the art dude. "...And I kinda want to hug him." He shuddered. "God, please, untie him right now. I think the trauma would kill me."

Krycek smirks and goes down on one knee to grab Ash's arm. "See if you can get a hold of his leg so we can both move him." The teacher did seem like a big man - dragging him out by one arm probably wouldn't be very comfortable.

Meh," Jake said, then sighed and ducked under the bed to grab a leg. "Seriously, this was not in my job description," he said, voice muffled. "I think I'd remember."

"There's no real job description for a reason," Krycek says, grunting a little as he hauls back a little awkwardly, pulling Ash's top half from under the bed. "You think that anyone would accept if they knew exactly what he needed?"

Jake crawled backwards out from under the bed, dragging Art teacher dude's legs with him until he ended up parallell with Krycek. Jake dropped the legs and straightened. "I want coffee."

::grumbles a bit from the jostling::

Mmmmmppphh Mmmmhp MMmmmm MMMMMmmmmph.

::sad puppy eyes::

Krycek goes to untie Ash, though it's a bit difficult when he realizes how tightly they've been done. "Jake? Find me a knife or just a sharp edge of some kind." He undoes the gag while he waits, pulling the cloth out of Ash's mouth with a grimace. "Sorry, sir. Are you hurt at all?"

Jake offers him a knife after a moment, scowling at Krycek in a "you owe me really really big" way. Ignoring it for the moment, Krycek cuts the bonds, freeing Ash from his bondage.

The only that's hurt is the King's pride. ::pops his neck, and springs to his feet::

You haven't seen a handsome, smug bastard that looks exactly like me around campus, have you?

"As a matter of fact, he told us where to find you," Krycek says, standing up. "Professor Jerusalem had him taken to the clinic and tied down. As far as we know, he's still being held there."

...I'd get in trouble if I just ran over there and shot him in the face, right?

"Given that the weapons ban extends to faculty as well as students, I'd say yes, sir." Krycek won't say he disagrees with the idea - Callisto's probably pretty traumatized as well as everyone who sat through Monday's class. "Maybe you should speak to Professor Jerusalem first?"

Ooooh, think we could schedule a public execution? That'd show that smug freak who's really the King.

...plus, it'd prove I'm not the psycopath that's been wandering around campus. He didn't do anything too bad, did he?

Krycek clears his throat slightly. "Monday, he stripped for the class. Tuesday, he attempted to strip your TA and demanded that any other females should do the same." He pauses. "...I don't think there will be a public execution, but a punishment of some sort would not be unexpected."

"Coffee," Jake demanded. "We rescued the Art dude, now I want coffee."

::shrugs::

You boys want coffee... I want a sandwich. I haven't eaten since Sunday.

Krycek actually smirks very slightly, nodding. "Sorry, sir. I'll put in a call to Professor Jerusalem and see what he recommends now that we know you're alive." He looks at Jake. "Just to make sure, G-Read him."

Jake whips out the G-Reader pointing it at Ash. He blinks. "Uh. Human, yeah." He turns back to Krycek. "Can I have coffee now?"

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Krycek sighs, reaching into his pocket and pulling out more chocolate covered espresso beans. "Here, eat these, we'll get you coffee as soon as the Boss okays us to go."

Pardoning himself, he steps into the hallway to call Spider, making sure no one's looking. He always feels a bit silly using the damn cell phone, but he might as well use it if he has it.

Glaring at his phone, Spider finally picked it up. "Speak," he barked.

"Sir, we found Professor Williams under his bed, mostly unharmed," Krycek replied. "Should we send him over to you?"

"Mostly unharmed?" Spider arched an eyebrow. "Send him up to my office... and should I have medical supplies at the ready?"

"Food would probably be more welcome. And water," he suggested. "He hasn't eaten since Sunday. I'll send him up, then I have to take Jake for some coffee. Do you want me to come by after that?"

"I'll get him something to eat and drink and yes." Spider paused, thinking. "Send him up to my apartment. I'll see you there after Jake's been appropriately caffinated."

"Will do." Krycek hung-up, then went back inside to speak to Ash. "Sir? Professor Jerusalem will be expecting you at his apartment with food and drink waiting upon your arrival."

Free food?

Where'd I put my bells... I need to find them, so I can wear them, and be there with bells on. ::laugh::

::pauses::

I swear, I'm the sane one. ::nods::

Krycek remembers the look on the double's face in the clinic, crazier than a loon that one was, and nods agreement. "Sure thing, sir. And hopefully we'll see you tomorrow for Art class."

You're a damn fine kid, Krycek. ::pats him on the back::

If you weren't a man, I'd kiss you right now. And your little friend there ::waves vaguely at Jake::

But I gots to go talk to Spider and eat his food, so, you have a good night. ::waves and wanders out of the cabin::

Carefully examining the maker for any signs of continued drug use, Spider asked for a large plate of roast beef sandwiches, a glass of ice water and a six pack of chilled beer.

Spider spent a moment shoving the cat and her amphibious chew toy off the table and clearing away the huge stacks of notes in Jake and Kycek's handwriting about grading and classes, he found a chair and stuck it beside the table.

"Computer, please be sure to allow Professor William's access when he gets here... if he gets here." At this point, Spider wasn't going to take anything for granted.

::knocks on the door::

Yo, Spider-baby? I hear you got food. The King could murder for a sandwich right now... not that I'm plannin' on murderin' anyone

The door opened and Spider, lips twitching at the 'Spider-baby' comment, beckoned him in. "Sandwiches have been provided." He pointed at the table. "Come in, take a load off... and tell me all about the nice man who got himself punched in the head by your teaching assistant."

::grabs a sandwich, sits, and takes a huge bite, talking between chews::

Well, you see, this isn't the first time somethin' like this has happened. Last time, I ate a little miniature copy of myself, and that caused this evil bastard to grow offa me. Now, that time, I had my shotgun at the ready so I was able to plug him in the face right then and there...

...this time, I didn't. ::another massive bite of sandwich::

"The... last time?" Spider stared at him, fascinated. "So this is going to be... a recurring problem?"

Heck, the last time was... well, technically, it was centuries ago. ::laugh::

I figure it was a freak occurence... I think Cap'n Crunch might be made of demon bits, or something. ::finishes the sandwich with his third bite::

I hope it ain't gonna happen again. Gettin' beat up sucked, but you have no idea how weird it is to to experience to joys of evil-twin budding. ::laugh::

Spider considered that. Full body cloning had been interesting enough.... He dismissed the thought with a brief, purely internal shudder. "So what do we do with the bastard?"

My solution involves a bag of gunpowder and a catapult.

It's not human, and just shooting it in the face didn't put it down for good last time.

"I'm inclined to agree with you," Spider muttered, dropping into the chair across from Ash and slouching. "It's definitely not human or even anything from the same DNA spectrum." Scowling, he fished out a pack of cigarettes and offered them to Ash.

::waves off the cigarette::

Demon. Deadite. Somethin' like that. ::shrugs:: So, when do we get to put the little bastard down, huh?

"When Bristow gets back." Spider lit up and took a deep drag on the cigarette, frowning. "I don't really need to get into any further trouble with him at this point, and executions are more his thing really, I suspect. Dean of Students has a very interesting job description, I'm imagining."

::sighs::

So, business as usual until Bristow gets back, got it. Then I get to request the right to kill the handsome evil bastard in front of all the students. ::nods::

"Request away," Spider waved a hand. "I think you'll have a line of volunteers to help you out with that, if Bristow allows it."

Oooh, I just got an idea. We could turn it into a fundraiser. Take a swing with a baseball bat at the evil bastard for a dollar. We'd make millions! ::laugh::

"I can think of at least six students who'd probably pay a good sum of money for the chance," Spider agreed, shaking his head. "Again, a Bristow thing - although with Parent's Weekend coming up, I suppose we could see about sacrificing him to appease the wrath of any upset parents...."

Right, right... so, I answer everything okay? If so, can I go? I got a crick in my neck that's killin' me, so I'm just gonna pop some aspirin and go to sleep, if that's okay...

Spider waved a hand. "I'll get a report to Bristow. If he has any further questions, I know where to find you. Get some sleep."

Righ, got it. ::waves::

Thanks for the sammich. You're a beautiful man, Spider Jerusalem. ::laughs, and walks out::

[Wherein Krycek and Jake go to the Millennium Falcon]

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