fandomtownies | Ching Tai, Tuesday Afternoon

Wilson had been a little surprised to find the house empty when he'd returned home but a quick glance at the note his lover had left him briefly explaining the situation with Annette had set his mind at ease and he'd gone about getting cleaned up and ready to face the day.

Aziraphale's invite to a lunch out was a delightful distraction from the riggors of co authoring a paper on the HMO health care system in regard to specialists and Wilson had quickly pulled himself together and headed down into town. Thus, it was likely Phale only had time for one cup of tea before he found himself joined by one mortal.

"Afternoon, love. This seat taken?" He asked playfully, eyes twinkling affectionately down at the Guardian.

"No, I don't believe it is," Aziraphale replied with a chuckle. "Would you like to join me?"

He poured a cup of green tea for Wilson, and once the young doctor had taken his seat, asked with a smile, "And how is Lucifer doing?"

Leaning over to steal a kiss before sitting down, Wilson reached for the delicate cup with a soft 'thank you' before leaning back in the booth.

"He's good," he answered, a twinkle in his eyes giving the innocent words a bit of a sultry undertone. "But you should definitely check for yourself tonight."

The angel's eyes were merry as he sipped at his tea. "I may do just that," he replied. Aziraphale found he rather looked forward to his weekly stint at the Nest.

"How is your paper progressing, love? I hope you didn't mind being pulled away from it, but I thought...it's been a while since we've had a nice lunch out, and some time to just sit and talk."

Making a face, Wilson shook his head.

"I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to help with that paper. Everytime I read over the back-up material I can feel my blood pressure rising."

With a graceful gesture of his hand he shelved that conversation and instead smiled and nudged his foot against Phale's ankle.

"I asked Lucifer about dinner. How does Thursday night work for you?"

With a nod, Aziraphale agreed to the dismissal of the topic. Wilson's papers were important for keeping his presence in the professional world while they were in Fandom, but the angel knew that they were also sometimes a source of stress for his lover.

His face lit up, though, at the mention of dinner. "Did you really? I suppose that must mean he said yes. Of course Thursday will be perfect, James love, I don't have any plans! What do you think we should have?"

Enjoying the way Phale lit up at the prospect of a dinner party with Lucifer, Wilson could only chuckle softly and sip his tea.

"Not yet. I'll think of something that will work over the next couple of days."

When the waitress came by, Wilson was ready with his order, as usual picking up on things that were all vegetable and spicey. As soon as she'd gotten Aziraphale's order and moved off, the young doctor leaned forward, his expression clouding with quiet concern.

"So, can you tell me what brought Annette over last night?" Always sensitive to the understanding that sometimes they couldn't always share the secrets of others, even with each other.

"I'll help as well, love, of course," Aziraphale replied, already thinking of what he might make for dessert.

His order was somewhat more conventional than Wilson's, but since he'd probably end up stealing from the young doctor's plate, that really didn't speak to his tastes. At the question, the angel looked pensive.

"I...don't think she'd mind if I told you some of it," he said finally. "She called (http://a-phale.livejournal.com/61752.html?thread=3652664#t3652664)me last night, in a terrible state, and asked to come by. I really couldn't even get her to talk once she got there. Mostly she wanted a hug, and cried a bit, and then asked if she could stay the night. So I put her up the guest room. And then she was gone this morning before breakfast, and left me a note on table."

Aziraphale paused for a sip of his tea. "I stopped at the post office ~~which is still being played~~, where she works, to take her something to eat and talk a bit."

"Huh," Wilson said with a thoughtful frown but then he gave his head a shake and with a sigh, looked down into his tea.

"Yesterday seems to have been a day for some of those we care about. I got a phone call from Marie," he began, his expression clouding further.

It was immediate apparent that this wasn't a good phone call, and Aziraphale set his tea aside and leaned in.

"What did she have to say?" he asked softly.

Wilson made a subtle gesture with his hand and when he saw Aziraphale nod he continued.

"The school she was at this summer was attacked. She managed to escape but some students were taken. As I understand it, in the rescue effort a teacher she knew and liked was killed."

Neither of them were strangers to the idea of attacks on a school, but to hear that students were captured and a teacher killed changed things considerably. Aziraphale frowned deeply, reaching absently across the table to take Wilson's hand.

"Is Marie herself all right?" he asked quietly, starting with what, in his mind, was the most important question.

"Physically, yes. She said she's coming home on Thursday," Wilson assured the angel, squeezing his fingers gently.

"But she said that everything that happened, it was her fault."

That earned another frown, and the angel shook his head. "Why is it that people are so quick to take blame for things they couldn't control, and not quick enough to take responsibility for things they could," he mused. "Did she explain why she felt that way?"

After a brief paused, he added, "Do you think we should invite her to stay with us for a bit?"

"I tried not to push her too much, I didn't want to seem like I was patronizing her feelings, even though it would have just been meant to support her."

Running his thumb across Phale's knuckles, Wilson gave a little half smile.

"I'll offer, of course but she might want to be near her friends her own age for a bit. I have ... " he began, paused and then looked up at Aziraphale. "I have decided not to tell her what happened, this past month. I don't want her living with the fear that it could happen again."

Fingers tightening on Wilson's hand, Aziraphale nodded, looking away for a moment.

"I haven't told anyone either. I'm not...certain I will. But I am quite sure you're right, James. Marie doesn't need that sort of worry, and certainly not right now."

He looked back at the young doctor again, and smiled ruefully. "Tell her that she's always welcome with us, any time at all. Although you're right, being with her friends and fellow students is probably best for her."

"I'll make sure she knows," Wilson assured the angel.

Then he fell silent, quietly watching his lover's face for a bit. Their food was laid down but beyond shifting a bit, he didn't let go of Phale's hand.

"What are you remembering?" He finally asked in a soft whisper.

Aziraphale wanted to just dismiss the question and turn the conversation to something lighthearted while they ate their lunch. But he knew that his silence on his own experiences was troubling to Wilson. So he was quiet for a moment, as he formed the thoughts into words.

"I...was thinking on what I said, about...believing things are your own fault when they aren't. And whether there's a difference between doing something you know is wrong but believe in anyway, and doing something you only think is wrong, but turns out to be right in the end."

Wilson could tell there was more to this then just those words and so he tilted his head and quietly listening, subtle encouragement for the angel to continue as he needed to.

With that gentle encouragement, Aziraphale continued talking, although his voice was soft a little unsure.

"When Crowley and I disobeyed orders, and tried to stop the Apocalypse, we knew we were doing something we weren't supposed to, but it felt like the right choice. And in the end, I suppose it was the right thing. Maybe even, it was what we were supposed to do all along." The angel frowned, and looked down at his plate. "But how is that different from the ones who Fell at the Beginning? They made what they believed was the right choice, and if even I don't agree with them, it seems that in order for the Plan to work as it does, there has to be a balance of Good and Evil. If they hadn't rebelled, then there'd be no Evil in the world. So...HE must have made us with the capacity for disobedience because HE wanted us to disobey. And if HE wanted that, then how can it be fair for there to be a punishment for doing it? I saw them, James. The shades of the ones who died in the great battle. I fought them, and I did it at Lucifer's side. Why is it right for me to do something like that, if what they did was wrong?"

The mortal held his silence through the whole of the angel's words and a curious thought came to him, through all of that.

"Were you there? At the first battle? Did you witness it, love?"

Slowly, Aziraphale nodded, and looked up to meet Wilson's gaze. "I was. And I didn't just witness it, James. There was no...watching from the sidelines. I suppose it's misleading, to call it 'a battle', when it wasn't just that everyone chose up sides and began fighting. A lot of things happened, a lot of choices were made, it wasn't all just about the rebellion. And it took time, in a way I don't think mortals can understand."

His hand tightened on his lover's. "For quite a long while, I've wondered if perhaps it was part of the Plan. I'm almost certain now that I believe it was. But...I think...maybe HE also regrets what happened."

Holding Aziraphale's tormented gaze with his own, Wilson nodded slowly and laced their fingers together.

"It is possible, to know what must be done and regret it anyway, love."

Strangely, Aziraphale had never once thought it that way. His brow furrowed a little as he looked at the young doctor, studying the man's face.

"I saw...into HIS mind," the angel whispered. "I saw Lucifer, and Michael. Over and over. As if it was all HE could think about. I know I'm right, when I say that HE never truly forsakes anyone. But it changes everything, to see that there's so much I was never allowed to know. And to know that HE can be hurt..." Aziraphale shook his head, and made a helpless gesture with his free hand. "...just the same way the rest of us can."

"Would it be better if HE couldn't?" Wilson pressed softly.

Sometimes the mortal had to wonder if he wasn't the only one now seeing things that perhaps he was never meant to see. But Lucifer was right, there was no going back to ignorance once knowledge had been gained and Wilson knew that for himself, he wouldn't want to.

"I don't know," Aziraphale said honestly, shaking his head. "It scares me, James. I know my world wasn't very interesting, and I probably didn't contribute very much to it, but it was safe. It made sense, it followed rules. Sometimes I feel like now...everything is turned on it's head."

Again he shook his head, but now he gave Wilson a little wry smile. "I know I'm not saying anything that you haven't experienced probably far more seriously than I have. But all my existence, I believed that I understood the difference between Good and Evil, even if a lot of it seemed like just semantics. Anymore, I'm not sure I do."

"Maybe you're just now starting to understand the differences between Good and Evil," Wilson suggested, even though he knew it might not be the answer Aziraphale was looking for.

"Aziraphale, I'll say it again. Look inside yourself, find the answers in your heart and then remain true to those answers. It's all too easy to follow someone else's direction. It is safe and comfortable but eventually, you need to take what you learn and think for yourself and make ... choices."

He tickled his lover's thumb gently and smiled softly.

"Still believe Free Will is such a wonderful gift, now that you've been handed it?"

It took such a long time for Aziraphale to answer that question, that it might have seemed he was never going to. But there was a lot going on inside his head, even if outwardly he looked only uncertain and contemplative.

Then he smiled, and raised Wilson's hand to brush a kiss across the young doctor's knuckles.

"Yes, James love, I still do. The best gifts are the ones that bear that taking care of. Like you."

Wilson blushed and chuckled softly, giving his head a shake even as he squeezed Aziraphale's fingers and then reached for his chopsticks with his other hand.

"You are a delightfully, silly creature. Now, let's eat our lunch."

To punctuate his plan, he neatly caught up a snowpea and offered it to the angel's lips, with a loving smile.

The angel's smile grew, and he leaned forward to let his lover feed him.

"One of us has to be silly now and then, love. And as you took care of that this past weekend, I thought perhaps I ought to take a turn," he replied, in a light if still somewhat quiet voice. "And I suppose it would be a lost cause to expect any silliness from Lucifer."

Ching Tai, Tuesday Afternoon

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NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo

Re: NFB - From this point due to angelic mojo