fandomtownies | The Park; Early Thursday Afternoon.

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The Park; Early Thursday Afternoon.

Chad had promised to take Prince Oscar Pedro out to the park to play with the ducks, and he was finally getting around to it. He took a seat on the grass to watch as the water fowl mostly ran away and stared in confusion at the hairless kitten tentatively poking his nose toward them and sniffing them out. Eventually, he'd pounce, but, after one duck didn't take to well to that, Prince Oscar Pedro approached them with a few more manners than previously. Chad just hoped one of them didn't try to eat the other.

[[ for this semesters wayward Little Brother, but it's a park, yo, it's open. ]]

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There was something vaguely resembling a large pile of seaweed and other unidentifiable substances moving slowly across the grass. There may have also been a barnacle and some rats involved somewhere in its construction, as well as some fish.

Upon closer inspection, there was an air of faint humanity about it. It may have been the fact that it stood still for a moment to claw at its head, dislodging a few strands of green.

Chad wasn't usually the perceptive type; his kitten, however, was, and so when the vaguely human pile of seaweed attempted to make himself more human and less creature of the swamp wandered into the park, Prince Oscar Pedro decided it was more interesting than the ducks. He padded clumsily toward it, nose ready to sniff it out, and, where Prince Oscar went, Chad's eyes went. The kitten didn't have to get too close to already start pulling back a little in disgust, and Chad blinked. A few times. He lifted a hand. "Hey."

The creature, which by now had begun to identify more as a human, albeit sewer-scented, Jeff-shaped being, did not get very far beyond "H--" before he froze entirely.

Pull out! Pull out! Oh god, you're in the middle of a 'hi'! If you hit one more letter, there's no going back! It's your first day, if you say 'hi' you'll be the sentient sewer-monster forever! Pull out!

"--Ippo," he continued. "Higgle."

There was a thoughtful moment for a second before Chad figured that must be 'hello' in sentient sewer-monster language, although he was looking a little less like such. However, sentient sewer-monster or unfortunately decorated person, it would be rude not to introduce himself. "I'm Chad," he said, a hand lifted in a waveless wave. "That's my cat," he nodded toward the hairless kitten backing slowly away from the unpleasant smell of sewer, "Prince Oscar Pedro Neko-kun."

Pause. "The Third."

Another bout of unfortunate clawing, and there was a face. A small nest of fish in the face's left ear splashed in protest; Jeff clamped his hand over it in a somewhat ill-fated attempt not to look even more profoundly stupid.

"I'm sorry!" he exclaimed with sincere desperation, "I appear to have lost the ability to understand the English language." He may have been near crying.

The desperation evident, Chad frowned deeply with concern. "Whoa, man," he said, pushing himself up off the grass, brushing some of it off the back of his legs, "you okay? What happened?"

Chad had heard rumour of either a lake squid or a beach octopus or something like that....maybe one of the newbies found it without having gotten the proper warning...

Apparently understanding English became a whole lot easier if you had at least one unobstructed ear canal. Who knew!

It also did wonders for Jeff's composure, although these wonders might not have been that evident to those not well-versed in the many facets of anxiety. He managed a nervous laugh. "Yes, well. Phones, eh?"

Chad scratched his head. "Phones....did that to you?"

Well, the phones had been acting weird recently...

"It's bad enough with ordinary phones," Jeff said, "But with these mobile ones, it just adds an entirely new dimension, doesn't it? Anyone could phone you anywhere! You might be eating a sandwich, or be taking a bath, or... or..."

He tensed. Considerably.

"God, what if mother calls you and you're having a go?"

Chad wasn't quite sure which of the two things he was thinking that could be referring it was really referring to, but his question remained valid for both, "I'm pretty sure you just ignore it then. If it's important, they'll leave a message. And hopefully, the message is meant for you and not someone else, 'cause that gets messy."

And that got Jeff dead serious. "You can't ignore phones," he said, in a low voice, "I've tried. Oh, I've tried. But you can't, can you? It's still out there. Ringing. And these," he pulled out a small mobile phone, "They are tiny. It's as if it wants you to swallow it."

"Does that even still work after....whatever it is you've just been through?"

As if its cue had been announced, the phone rang. And rang. And rang. Its bearer appeared to have gone completely catatonic.

"Oh, Jeffrey," exclaimed a disembodied voice about half a moment before the phone was hurled bodily across the park.

Jeff attempted to regain the ability to breathe. Going by the gurgling noises, he was failing.

Which called for help. Chad administered assistance to Jeff's breathing with a firm whack on the back; he tried to be somewhat light about it, too, but Chad always did have trouble controlling his strength at times.

Being only a few minor muscle groups away from being labeled a wet noodle, and being generally unbalanced on the whole, Jeff toppled forwards into the grass. It rained little fish from his ears, who bounced merrily towards the water.

Well, at least he was breathing again.

"I should probably answer that," he whimpered desperately into the grass, "I imagine she'll want to know where all the laxatives have gone."

He wasn't sure if it was something that was supposed to happen, but Chad thought that the little fish coming out of this guy's ear was a pretty cool special power, or whatever.

Either way, he joined Jeff in the grass to help him find the cell phone. "But you said you didn't want to answer it," Chad pointed out, confused.

"Well, she's been phoning me for three days now while I was in the sewer. I imagine she's a bit upset."

"You've been in the sewer for three days?" Chad asked. That certainly explained the smell...and maybe the fish. He was going to work out when exactly three days ago might have been, but got distracted by another important question, "....Did you see any alligators?"

"It wasn't on purpose," he explained. This point was very important: "I'm not some kind of mad sewer-loiterer. I had an unplanned flush."

He paused, momentarily, to consider the question.

"No," he finally decided, "But I did meet a singing crab."

"Seriously?" Chad's deep voice might have been tinged with envy.

Then, a thought came to him. "Hey, you're one of the new kids, right?"

"Well, it was rather hard to make out, because of the dolphin," Jeff said, halfway through an aborted giggle, "They're bastards, aren't they?"

He glanced nervously from one side to the other before muttering "Yes," with a sheepish expression. "I'm Jeff," he offered. "Not actually a sentient sewer-monster."

"Jeff...Murdock, by any chance?"

That got the tense back into the poor boy. "...Yeah?" he mumbled, barely managing to avoid another blurt. Keep it cool, Jeffrey. Keep it simple!

"No wonder you weren't at the big meet-up," Chad mused as if he'd just stumbled upon the secret of life. "You were in the sewer. That makes so much sense now; I thought maybe you weren't coming. I'm Chad; I'm your Big Brother." And, with that, he ceased the search through the grass for the phone and offered out his hand.

Jeff raised a single, sludge-covered hand from the grass, waving, and smiled weakly. "Hippo," he said, shook his head to clear it thoroughly, and continued, "Gusset."

He blinked, pushing up into a crouch. "Er, uh. Nice to meet you? Do you know where I live? I mean, am supposed to live. I don't think I live there at the moment, because if I did, I wouldn't have to ask, now, would I?"

Chad thought about this. It made sense. Yes. "And I don't think they'd put you in the sewers. I...wrote it down, in case you asked, but that was way back on Monday. The dorms. Somewhere..." He paused, looking terribly thoughtful. Or, one might guess. It was either terribly thoughtful, or he'd zoned out entirely.

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The Park; Early Thursday Afternoon.

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