Dear Deadpool, Wednesday

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Dear Deadpool,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Curious

Dear Curious,

Three. Didn't you listen to Mr. Owl?

Dear Deadpool,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Love,
Even curiouser

Dear Even Curiouser,

Because I give them minute rice and wait to see what happens. Oh! You meant that as a come on. Oh. My bad.

Maybe because I get you drunk, get you love drunk off my lovely lady lumps? Now I've got that song stuck in my head. Damn it.

Dear Deadpool,

Who's the black dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

Love,
Really curious

Dear Really Curious,

I think that's T'Challa.

Dear Deadsack,

How do I stabbinate to death an overbearing, pompous ass who tried to take my girlfriend? Keep in mind that I think it'll be him and the cockroaches come the end of the world. Actually, scratch the cockroaches. He'll probably even outlive that rock singer dude.

Signed,
DIAF

Dear Bitter and Angry DIAF,

Which rock singer dude? If it's Keith Richards I will be very upset. Better be Alice Cooper if you know what's good for you.

And gosh, can you can just cut the tension with a knife in that letter. It's okay, I know you want my body, much like Really Curious. But we can never be.

Here, have a picture of Bea to get you through these hard times.



Dear Deadpool,

Are you sure I can't get a refund?

Still hungry on the fourth floor.

Dear Still Hungry on the Fourth Floor,

Yes.

Dear Deadpool,

Since, we're on an island with a whole lot of different species?

If you do happen to have a minion who wants to say ... date a goat, how do you explain to them where they have to draw the line on their interspecies dating habits?

At what point do you just say no?

Dear Interspecies Erotica Fan,

Two legs good, four legs baaaaad. I find that to be a good rule for minions' dating habits. But it's their life, who am I to judge?

For more information on interspecies erotica, please consult your local library. Or those guys in front of the Quick Stop.

[[ooc: If you have a question or maybe just some insane rambling to throw at Deadpool, please post here]]