fandomtownies | Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

"Stealing," said Castiel without preamble, "is a sin. It is explicitly forbidden, and when committed in full knowledge and consent to its sinful nature, it is mortal. Without confession -- or a very good reason -- one who steals will go to Hell." He looked out over the congregation with a very serious and intent look on his face. "That being said, should the books that have been taken from this church be returned, it will demonstrate the repentance of the sinner and the sin will quite likely be forgiven."

He paused as though expecting someone to stand up and confess to taking his books right then and there. He'd just been in the middle of one of the really good parts, and he needed those texts to ~~start flame wars with the fangirls~~ support his arguments against his fellow readers. It was very important.

Castiel sighed. "Very well." He then went on to further explain the difference between mortal and venial sin, offering examples of each. It being Castiel, his examples involved far too much detail as to how each might be committed. The scenario for murder was especially vivid -- one had to wonder a bit about his claims to be lacking in creativity.

Well, that was if one was paying attention. It might be hard to do so, what with the tiny blue men in kilts who were hanging out on the altar behind him, drinking the communion wine and making off with the incense.

They were very distracting.

[ooc: The OCD refuses to be stolen by feegles and is up!.]

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Or the feegles. Or check your pockets/wallets/purses to make sure they haven't nabbed any of your stuff.

You'd think an angel would be more observant, really.

Man, my church growing up woulda been way more interesting if it had feegles in it.

...The little blue men were very distracting, come to think of it, especially since Castiel's sermon seemed to tend more towards the usual fire-and-brimstone variety Arthur was used to at home. So he sat. And stared.

There were times when having a face as expressive as his was not really a boon.

You know, despite Francine's inchoate worries about whether Certain Other Things She Wasn't Putting Words To were sins or not, she was so on board the stealing-is-wrong train. Possibly the applause when he got to the end of that bit was too much?

Then again, it distracted her from glaring at the Smurfs for a bit.

...since when did Smurfs go to church?

The one sermon he probably should be paying attention to and he very well couldn't. Figures.

"What's with the Scottish Smurfs?"

Sermon? What sermon? How could you pay attention with that going on in the background?

Castiel stared blankly at Chuck for a long moment.

". . . the what?"

He understood "Scottish" well enough. He wasn't sure about the smurfs, or what that might have to do with mortal and venial sin.

"The blue guys that were getting into your booze during the sermon," Chuck said. He was fairly sure they weren't actual smurfs. There would be more singing if they were. "They were in kilts."

Castiel turned to look towards the altar which held the Eucharist -- the only booze in the church. There were no "blue guys" there, now. He looked back at Chuck.

"Have you been partaking of any mind altering substances?"

"Just the ones I usually take."

"And do you . . . often see little blue Scotsmen?"

"This is a first," he said. "And I wasn't the only person who saw them. Arthur was staring too."

Of course, knowing Arthur, he'd probably deny it if asked just to make Chuck look bad. Because Arthur was a dick.

"He's the blond boy who always looks somewhat put out, yes?"

"That would be the one, yes," Chuck said, nodding. "He's a jackass."

"I see. What makes you say that?"

"I tend to feel that way about most people who punch me," Chuck said. So what if he had deserved it?

Castiel frowned. "Did he have reason to do so?"

"I suppose he might have had one, yeah," Chuck said. "But I don't think violence is ever the answer to problems."

That's because you couldn't fight, Chuck.

"That is a very noble philosophy," Castiel acknowledged. "Though I've found that, sometimes, for a worthy enough cause, it is the answer."

Mind you, Castiel's noble cause was saving the world from destruction and damnation. Few mortals ever quite lived up to such an ideal.

"Well this wasn't a worthy enough cause, trust me," Chuck said. "So he's a jackass."

"He did have a cause -- one which you're aware of -- then." Castiel tilted his head. "And you depend on his word that you're not hallucinating tiny blue men?"

There might've even been the hint of amusement in that.

"He's a jerk, but he's not blind," he said. "And you should just take my word that they were there. I don't lie about stupid things."

"I was not accusing you of lying," Castiel said. "And what did you say these Scotsmen were doing?"

"They were drinking whatever booze it is people drink during the cracker thing."

Yes. The cracker thing.

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Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

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