fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest, Saturday, April 6

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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, April 6

Trying to translate Fosse's drink order via interpretive dance was nothing new, so Bo wasn't surprised to see the troll pas de bourre his way into the club. She wasn't even, now that the uckfuppedness of the week seemed to have blown over, worried about him getting too close.

Until he Lindy-swung the pre-teen kid with the strawberry-blonde hair through the door after him, plopped her up on the bar-top, bowed deeply to the both of them and tap-danced back out.

"Yuuuuhwhaaaaaa?"

"Hey, Mom. Need a beer?"

".......................That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether you're trying to pour me one with a tail."

"So I should make that a whiskey?"

"No, I should. You're not old enough to serve alcohol."

"It's not technically illegal if I don't touch it with my hands."

"...Make it a double."

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Where your bartender might have been on shot #3. It wasn't so much the kid thing, after last year. It wasn't even really the tail thing.

She was just judging herself.

Where you had a very good chance at finding an eleven year old with a tail and a grin trying to teach Tiny how to do the Achy Breaky. And/or a slightly-ibreniated... slightly toxindicated... somewhat sloshy Bo.

Where there might be a vampire who might be snickering but probably not because Eric probably wanted to keep not-living and Bo knew where he kept his Tru-Blood.

DON'T YOU JUDGE HER.

Ellie had soon gotten bored with requesting songs from the zombies, and had demanded to go see Aunt Bo. Vlad had decided to tag along because... well, because he wanted to see Aunt Bo too. What? Even to his oh-so-jaded teenage mindset, she was cool.

"Hey," he greeted Bo, after helping Ellie get settled on a barstool. "Cokes all around."

Three shots in, Bo was ... slightly less filled with WTF? Or at least she was able to successfully store it away for tomorrow.

"I know you."

She meant Toby. She wasn't even going to try to remember if she'd met the kids last year, or these were completely new brain-breakers.

"Hey, bartender," she said to the brain-breaker still sitting on the counter, waving her tail. "Three cokes. You can even serve these with your hands."

That would be Cadence, running ahead of Mom, to catch up with 'people.' Whoever 'people' were, Mom hadn't said.

But hey, this person she knew. "Hi Aunt Bo! Diet Coke with a cherry, please."

"Hey, you," Kenzi said, catching up, "Slow down!"

Then a double-take. "Toooby." A grown-up! Or something! Someone not related to her!

"Three Cokes and a diet with a cherry on top," said Tally with a grin, sliding off the bar to get one of the Cokes with her hands and one with her tail. "Hi, Tante Kenz."

"Kenzi!" Toby grinned. "You remember Elena." Who had been taller, last time they'd met. "And Vlad." Who'd been shorter. Yup.

"You do," Toby nodded sympathetically. "You've met Elena and Vlad too, only she was older and he was younger." Because her head didn't hurt enough, apparently.

"You need a rum and coke," Bo decided, once she'd tried to do the math on that and failed. "But you can't have one because student."

"... Hi?" Kenzi blinked at the girl, and the tail, and then with a liiiitle relief that it was Tante and not mom, she grinned. "Whose kid are you?" She shot Bo a look. And the person most likely to give birth to a tailed niece for her would be....

MWAH. She so didn't care if their children were watching, at this point. The weekend was shaping up to be bizarre.

"Ellie!" Who was tiny and adorable, and therefore hopefully less snarky on her mom. "...aaand Satan."

"Hi, Mom." Vlad grinned, leaning over to tickle Ellie. "Glad to see you never had shame. I wasn't sure I remembered that right."

"Man, she has nothing to be ashamed of." Cadence was watching Toby with curiosity but no fear. "This is your high-school boyfriend?... he's kinda cute." Hunh. Good to know Mom had taste. Cadence cocked her head at Vlad. "How come he gets to be tall?"

It at least had cleared up just how Ellie had known Vlad, last year, while he hadn't known her. Sort of.

"Don't overthink it," Toby cautioned, although he realized he was maybe a little too late for that. "You'll just get a headache," he paused, considering. "More of a headache." Didn't even need to be a telepath to pick up on that one.

"You don't want to know." Not that Bo wanted to give the kid a complex, but. Judging herself. "Kenzi, meet Tally. Which is short for something long and Swedish that I could pronounce a shot ago but not now."

"Tallemaja. Norwegian, not Swedish."

Not that the girl had any kind of accent beyond midwestern by way of everywhere, but then again it's not like she'd pick up much of one from her father.

"My daughter has a tail." Just in case he hadn't noticed. "I think I passed headache a while ago and now my brain's just kind of comfortably melted and sloshing around in there like a jello shot."

"That's pretty," Kenzi decided. "And of course I want to know! How old are you, kid? Also, neat trick with the tail."

Hey, wasn't Eric a Viking or something?... wait, could vampires even have kids? Much less ones with tails?

"Almost twelve." Because that always sounded way better than eleven, and besides, this mom and Kenzi didn't know that 'almost' equaled seven months away, so nyaaaah.

Tally wrapped her tail around a root beer mug and poured herself exactly what belonged in it. The ice cream, however, she added by hand, because blech, cow-hairs in ice cream, blech.

She proved she'd spent way too much time around some version of Kenzi by grinning evilly. "You do know my dad."

"I see what you mean," and if Toby reached up to rub his own temple at that, well...

"It could be worse." You'd think this was the whiskey talking, but no. "Last year I had a son who wanted to be a superhero porn star."

Was, Bo. Was a superhero porn star.

"I do, hunh?" Kenzi's eyes narrowed. "Is he a werewolf? A vampire? A... something else?" Also, watching the tail in fascination. Hunh.

"Yeah, okay, compared to that a tail is relatively tame," Toby decided.

"... Thanks?" Toby said, a little dubiously. He was pretty sure that was a compliment, but unsure how to take it given the fact that the source was a tiny Kenzi-spawn. Who wasn't his.

Tally giggled. "A something else. Vampires don't have tails." Uh, Tally... Neither does your dad.

Come at it sideways? "Oh? Do you live with him, or your mom?" Kenzi slurped her drink, looking thoughtful. "And do I hang out with you guys a lot?"

"Recessive genes, who the hell knows." Kenzi sighed and would have thought explanations at Toby, except Ellie was right there, listening. Best to just keep it simple. "Cadence says if I'd stayed in Canada I would've met her dad by now. Or that I'm going to do that? We're a little fuzzy on dates and stuff."

"I could have a hollow back like Farmor and my Tantes," Tally said helpfully. "It even gives me a headache to look at 'em." Mostly because their backs were all full of roots and vines and they kind of looked like somebody tried to make walking ivy planters out of them.

"So you're my little sister?" Vlad held out a hand to her. "Vlad. And the tiny person is Ellie."

"'m not tiny!"

"We all live here!" So helpful. So, so helpful. "But Dad lives at school and Mom has the hardware store, so I mostly stay with Mom."

"Are you sure I know you're dad? And he's not a werewolf?"

Because yes, she *had* heard the Radio this week. Bo owed her a drink!

Bo owed her a glare. "He's not a werewolf, Ms. Vibrating Duck-Face." Or maybe a drink. Because vibrating ducks or no, that wasn't an experience she'd be judging herself for.

"Soooooo?" Kenzi prompted. "Who's Daddy? And hey, like it's my fault you didn't take that stuff home to play with? Ahem?"

Yes, a drink. Look, she has three children! Three! One of them being Satan!

"What stuff?" asked Tally.

"You're too young to know," replied the bamboozimifacated woman who'd just mentioned vibrating ducks in front of her 11 year old.

"Bitch, please, I'm half succubus and my godmother is Kenzi. You think there's anything I'm too young to know?"

Kenzi hiccuped with laughter and then reached over to hug Tally. "Oh we are keeping you, kid. You are so staying. Forever! ... also, have you heard of 'Dite's?"

"I live here," Tally pointed out. "Oh, did you mural up Mom's office with edible body paints again? That was hilarious."

"No, and don't you dare." Bo shot a bleary narrowed eye at Kenzi.

Tally rolled hers. "Honestly, even Dad thought it was funny, and he was the one who had to clean it up."

Kenzi was swaying on the bar-stool with laughter now, wheezing for breath. "Gotta do it. For your birthday! Has to happen! ... wait, why did your dad have to clean it up?"

Nooooooo! Really?!

"Because that's his job, silly."

"Holy sexbombs," Kenzi blurted, then pointed at Bo. "Fosse!? And you!?" Best. Day. Ever!

"In some alternate unicorn!" Uh. "Universe!"

Shut up.

"The unicorns were in another universe, yes, that's right." Kenzi beamed at Tally, then climbed over the bar. "Kid, let me make you a special milk-shake. Your mom's too blitzed to do it right now."

"If by 'Special' milkshake you mean one with vodka, her mom's not too blitzed to say in your dreams, kiddo."

"Blecccch," was Tally's input. "Vodka's made of yuck."

And that was Toby shaking his head to try and clear it of that mental image because yeah, that was messed up right there.

"Do I want to know?" he wondered.

Tally shrugged. "They're Huldrefolk. It's a thing, but only for the girls. Like the tail."

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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, April 6

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