Freedom Arms, Friday

[nottrivial]

Alec genuinely did not know why there were multiple rocket launchers being dropped off today, as well as several pirate swords, a compact pink taser, and a book of exploding paper. He didn't know what the common thread among all of those items was, besides "ridiculous," so he simply decided to set up a window display labeled "Miscellaneous."

Oh, Fandom. You were a weird town.

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"Ahoy," Barbossa growled as he came into the shop, hat feather swaying majestically above his head. "I be needin' t' buy yer finest weapons t' equip me army."

[nottrivial]

Alec blinked. It wasn't often there were pirates in the shop.

Then again, were pirates really that much weirder than other things?

"Uh," he said, just as he blinked and took in that really alarming-looking hat. "We've got three or four cutlasses, if that's what you're looking for. I don't know about a whole army."

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"Well, the army be quite small, ye see," Barbossa said. "Squirrel-like, ye might even say."

[nottrivial]

Alec paused. "Is that a figure of speech or are they actually squirrels?"

Oh god, someone was weaponizing them. That was truly horrifying.

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It was kind of amazing it had taken this long, really.

"They're actually squirrels."

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"Can squirrels... use swords?"

Probably not. God, he hoped not.

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"O' course they can, provided they be o' the proper proportions," Barbossa declared.