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Dite's Decadent Delights [Tuesday afternoon]

You know what Irene did not need, want, or ask for? An enormous shipment of rubber chickens.

She was sort of stuck with them, though, and wondering who in the world these were meant for -- they had the correct address on the shipping label, but....

Well. She of all people knew better than to judge. The heart wants what it wants, after all.

(Maybe it wasn't the heart doing the wanting, in this case. Still.)

In any case, Irene was left quietly putting out the rubber chickens in a back corner, hoping against hope that she didn't have to sell any to anyone anytime soon. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep from giggling, honestly.

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No Irene for you!

She will tear herself away from prop comedy to help you, promise.

My morning got unexpectedly crazyflakes out of nowhere. Omg.

I should be good for usual-work-so-SP availability from here on out, though!

After their adventure in Japan, Clint and Kitty had managed to have some quality time together, where "quality" meant "having a whole bunch of awesome sex." Now that he'd seen what Kitty bought (most of it, at least, as far as he knew), coming to Dite's wasn't as much about getting Kitty back on bringing creative things to bed as it was about seeing what else the store had.

And okay, maybe he wanted to get Kitty back with some surprises too but that wasn't a bad thing.

If he looked a little lost when he came in, it was only because being an experienced strip club customer and walking into a shop like this were surprisingly different experiences.

One of Irene's favorite parts of this job -- and her former one, for that matter -- was helping the particularly lost-looking customers. It always proved to be both fun and rewarding. She felt like a fairy godmother, but for dildos.

"Can I help you?" she called, setting aside the rubber chickens for the time being (so sad) and making her way over to him. It was always the best when those lost-looking customers were grown men, too. So adorable.

"I think you might be able to," Clint said, giving her a smile. "Are you Irene?"

“Aww, am I building a reputation already?” Irene asked with a wide grin. “You've found the right girl, all right. Now who do I get to thank for sending you my way?”

"My girlfriend Kitty. But I'm pretty sure I'm the one who should be thanking you." That might have been more information than she needed, but she also worked selling sex toys, so maybe she wouldn't be scandalized?

It probably said something that as soon as Irene realized who she had here, her eyes went straight to his arms. "Hello, Clint." She flicked her gaze back up to meet his, adding a warm, "I take it things are working out well with what I sent home with Kitty, then?"

Fairy godmother! Seriously!

Yeah, Clint was used to his arms being a source of attraction, but that was a perk of his job as far as he was concerned. "Oh yeah, things are working great," he said with a grin. "I was a little worried about what Kitty was going to pick up here but, uh, there were some really nice choices in that bag."

"She has good taste," Irene said with a light wink. "Classy lady you've got there. Are you here to return the favor, then? Pick out some goodies for her?"

Please say yes, Clint. Please, please.

"I figured a nice way to repay you would be to, you know, actually pay you by buying stuff," Clint said. "I'm not too sure what I'm looking for though."

Irene waved a hand. "No need to repay me. I'm just glad you two are having fun. Now." She clapped her hands together briskly, tilting her head at Clint. "Are we thinking something specifically for her? Maybe something to wear? Maybe something for you to wear? She took quite an interest in that idea, when I suggested it before, you know. Or are we thinking more something that you two could use together? Or all of the above?"

"She wanted something for me to wear?" Clint asked, trying to imagine what that might mean. "I want something that'll make her happy, in whatever form it's going to take." Someone was very metaphorically whipped in this relationship.

"Awwww! That's...very sweet of you," Irene admitted, actually genuinely touched. "And she was intrigued by the idea of you wearing something. We have leather pants, things like that." She gestured over to the clothing section. "But if we're thinking for her...."

She thought for a minute, then slanted a look at him. "What are your thoughts on edible body paint, that sort of thing?"

Bruce looked confident and poised as he made his way into the store. He hadn't spent any time here in the past. But today, he had a need.

"Excuse me. I understand you've come into possession of a large quantity of rubber chickens."

Clint laughed as he genuinely considered that. "Kitty already has leather pants covered so... does 'edible' just mean it won't kill you or does it actually taste okay?"

"Yes, how did -- oh! Were they meant for you?" Irene was absolutely delighted by this development. And more than a little curious, since he didn't really look the rubber chicken type.

"Like everything else in life, it depends on the brand," Irene told him with a smile. "I'll make sure you take home something that doesn't taste like plastic, though."

She was good like that.

How? He was the goddamn Bruce Wayne. He knew things.

"No, but I would be willing to take them off your hands," Bruce said.

Tempting.

"Why?" Irene asked, vaguely suspicious.

"Because the joke shop was out of them," Bruce said, not quite answering the question Irene was actually asking.

"Yes, that's very helpful of you, but why do you need them?" Irene asked, tilting her head. "That's a very odd item to acquire in bulk, you know. Most people get by with just one or two rubber chickens."

"In my experience, most people get by with none," Bruce said. "An orphanage in my home city wants to set a world record for most people with rubber chickens in one place. I don't know what inspired this, but I promised to do what I can to help."

Irene's smirk actually softened a little, and she gestured to the cardboard boxes of chickens. "Done. They're yours. That's much sweeter than what I'd figured. Here I was thinking you were some kind of weirdo. Odd record to them to try to set, though."

Seriously. Who even measured the number of rubber chickens in a given area?

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Dite's Decadent Delights [Tuesday afternoon]

Mod your shopping [07/29]

Talk to Irene [07/29]

OOC [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

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Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]

Re: Talk to Irene [07/29]