Luke's, Monday

[vdistinctive]

The kitchen staff stood as a united front behind the lunch counter, arms folded over their chests.

"We want the day off," the dishwasher said. "In appreciation of our labors."

"For Labor Day." Eliot nodded slowly. "Alright, that's fair. You guys work all year -- sometimes even work hard -- you deserve a holiday. Most folks've lost sight of what this day was created to celebrate. Sure."

The kitchen staff exchanged glances. This was not a response they were prepared for. "Th-thank you," the busboy said.

"You're welcome. What're you plannin' to do, then? Union barbecue? See some parades?"

"We're going shopping," the cook said. "Everyone is having a sale today."

Eliot smirked and shook his head. "Yeah. Get back to work."

Today's specials
Sweet cola ribs
Green bean and potato salad
Orange meringue pie

Luke's was open and ocd free.

Comments

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Well, ain't this a treat," Hardison said, descending the stairs with a large grin. "Look who finally found a use for soda!"

[slowish for a bit!]

[vdistinctive]

"I have literally made you food out of orange soda before," Eliot pointed out.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Cause you felt guilty," Hardison reminded. "This one's just cause you wanted to!"

He paused. "...Unless there is somethin' you needed to tell me about."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot bit his lip and looked at Hardison very seriously. "There is. . . . Your orange soda is still terrible." Really, like that was going to be an actual confession? "This is made with microbrewed gourmet cola. Made with all natural ingredients. And it's amazing."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Man, get out of here with your hipster self," Hardison said, waving that away. And totally not breathing a sigh of relief say what? "Where even do you find microbrewed gourmet cola? Are you on some kinda forum for fussy food nerds or somethin'?"

[vdistinctive]

"What, like on the internet?" Soooo, no. "I have suppliers from several dozen different universes on file, man, I can find anything I want."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"An' you decided that with everythin' at your disposal, you should try to find some, like, sulfate-free, organic, free-range cola," Hardison checked. "That was the best use of your time."

He was getting a bottle of Squeeze Orange soda just to be difficult.

[vdistinctive]

"Didn't have to try," Eliot said. "But -- yeah."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Hardison just laughed, giving Eliot a fond smile and shook his head. "Well, it ain't quite as good as growin' your own an' makin' it from scratch, I'm sure, but you obviously make due."

[vdistinctive]

"Climate's completely wrong for growin' my own kola tree," Eliot pointed out. "It'd be like tryin' to grow decent coffee around here. Just ain't a good idea."

Because of course he'd investigated this. Of course.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Because of course you looked into it," Hardison said with a sigh. "Of course. How far'd you get into tryna design your own hothouse?"

And, hmm, could Hardison improve on that for some future gift-giving occasion? Because damn was Eliot hard to shop for. Unless it was some kind of Williams-Sonoma thing, but even then, all it did was make Eliot complain about how much he hated that store and all the useless crap it sold, like half his kitchen wasn't from there anyway.

[vdistinctive]

"Hothouses don't produce the same quality," Eliot said. "You ever had a hothouse tomato?" He had. Everyone who grew up in the US and ate tomatoes had. "They're completely tasteless. Like eating soggy styrofoam."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Why?" Hardison asked, genuinely curious for once. "Like, it's a plant. How does it know where it's growin'?"

[vdistinctive]

"'Cause it's next to impossible to get the actual environment right," Eliot said. "Sure, you can get it hot and humid, but is it still gettin' the same amount and quality of sunlight? What about the dirt? Dirt's different everywhere you go. I keep tellin' ya: context is everything.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Sun lamps," Hardison said, holding up a finger. "An' importin' the proper dirt, which is probably easier than just importin' all the food wholesale. Look, I ain't sayin' it'd be perfect, but I got faith you'd do all this crazy research before tryna grown somethin' anyway."

[vdistinctive]

"Importin' dirt's how Florida ended up with fire ants," Eliot said. "It's a hell of a lot easier to find a grower you can trust and build a relationship with 'em. Some things tech can't do."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Blasphemy!" Hardison gasped, clutching his phone to his chest. Immediately he turned away slightly and whispered, sotto voce, "It's a'ight, baby. He didn't mean it."