Luke's Diner, Thursday

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Unlike Eliot, Hardison hadn't had any creepy premonitions. All he knew was that Net Neutrality had been repealed and he clearly needed to send a message to a certain FCC Chairman.

One thousand porn magazine to be delivered to his office? Why yes, that sounded like an excellent way.

To start.

[No OCD]

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[imafuturist]

Tony was also premonition free! Because he'd gotten past the premonition stage and right into the dark, creeping influence already in his brain. But, since Steve was being no fun, he had to get his dinner elsewhere.

Sorry, Hardison.

"Something the matter?"

[maneatingtiger]

This place had been a reasonably reliable spot to find scant food resources back in the dead world, so Raven figured it might be good for something to eat here, too. Of course, it was all bright and shiny right now, so she made sure to put on her bright and shiny outside to blend in.

There was so much food in here. What did people even need with all this food? Well, nothing at all once the cult was done with them, but still. She wandered idly from table to table, inspecting what people were eating, and finally settling on grabbing a handful of some sort of hot, salty root vegetable off the distracted man's plate.

[lalala, mods Hardison's fries.]

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Politics," Hardison said with a groan. "Ain't it always? I'm startin' to think that Leverage, Inc should give up robbin' corporations and focus exclusively on politicians, yo. 'Sup with you?"

He gestured for the busboy to bring Tony over a cup of coffee. Because he'd met Tony even one time, you see.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

[La la, just realized I'd forgotten to post specials!]

"Gon' haveta talk to Parker to perfect them lifts, little mama," Hardison said, not looking up from his screen. But now he was smiling at it.

[maneatingtiger]

Raven frowned. "Why? It's just food."

Yeah, social niceties -- and economics -- had been the first things to go.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Cause if you're gon' steal from someone, it's polite to not be obvious about it. That goes double if you're stealin' from a thief," Hardison said, finally looking up to give her a sly grin. "Blonde today, Raven? Headin' off-island?"

[imafuturist]

Oh, sweet, sweet life bringing coffee. Yesterday that would have been met with a smile, but today mild indifference.

Which was probably weird.

But you were just attracting people affected by the weirdness, Hardison.

"Oh, I'm great. Started a new project that I think everyone is going to enjoy."

It was the apocalypse.

[maneatingtiger]

Huh. This guy apparently knew someone who looked like her. Whatever, he'd die just as fast as the rest of world.

"No." She licked the salt from her fingers. "Just felt like being . . . bright and shiny."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Tony...didn't want coffee? Hardison didn't understand. Tony always wanted coffee. Tony practically lived on coffee.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, leaving the cup on the table so Tony could reach for it if he wanted it. "Whatcha workin' on?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"A'ight," Hardison said easily. Raven was showing interest in something. He nudged the plate closer to her. "Well, what brings you over here today, TA? Came to start your lessons?"

[maneatingtiger]

‘Lessons,’ huh?

Raven wasn’t blind (blind was what she made other people). She could tell this man was probably what she’d have thought of as attractive, back when she cared about such things. He was very bright and shiny, after all.

“Lessons,” she said. “Yes. I could teach you some things.”

She liked breaking shiny things.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

If Hardison had any idea what Raven's narrative was implying, he probably would have fallen out of his seat in horror. She was his tiny TA! And he was practically married, ye gods!

"Oh, teachin' me?" he asked with a laugh. He rolled his sleeves up, showing off impressive arms. "You become a violin prodigy overnight?"

[imafuturist]

Yeah, but now he was living in the upside down. It was super fun and Hardison should totes join them.

"It's a surprise."

Nothing quite said 'surprise!' like ending the world.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

But what if no? Hardison liked the world and all the fun things in it. Like existing! Wasn't that super-great, Tony?

"Oh? Is that why you're throwin' a party this weekend?" he asked, interested. "So you can unveil this great surprise?"

Or, you know, less 'unveil' and more 'summon from the horrifying depths' or whatever. Sorry, Hardison wasn't up on the hip new culty terminology.

[imafuturist]

Shhh. Shhh, Hardison. It was totally a compliment that he thought he could seduce you to the other side.


"That's the plan," he said brightly. You know, you could even go so far as to say it was a little manic too.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Okay, and let's be real. Hardison would be kinda flattered in a perverse way. Who didn't wanna be liked?!

But no, still on Team Good. Someone needed to keep Eliot from going completely bonkers this BDE.

"No hints?" he asked, ignoring the way Tony's smile was a little...off. Maybe he got that way at the beginning of a shiny new project. Who was Hardison to judge? He got a little manic at around Hour 15 of a hackathon, too.

[imafuturist]

It was all that evil juice just flowing through his brains! Man, so invigorating.

And it would be a shame to have to kill Hardison for picking the wrong side. So many on that list.

"And ruin it?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Okay, but hear him out. What if he didn't kill anybody? Enh? Enh?

"Thief," Hardison reminded with a grin. "An' hacker. You tell me there's somethin' cool that I don't know about, I just can't not try to find out more about it."

[imafuturist]

Yeah, but what if he did?

"You can try," Tony said in a little sing-song.

[maneatingtiger]

"The hell is a violin?"

So that'd be a "no", then.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Then people would be dead! And then who would Tony talk about nerd stuff with! Slugs were terrible conversationalists, Tony, just terrible.

"Yo, just remember you said that when you find me in your lab late at night, pokin' around your stuff," Hardison teased.

Had that sing-song been a little on the creepy side? Hmm.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Ain't callin' it a mini-guitar no matter how many times you ask," Hardison said, a little put off by Raven's tone. But then, Tony had seemed weird to him earlier, too. Was he just being oversensitive today?

[imafuturist]

It was creepy like those twins in The Shining. So... Yeah.

"Oh, I would love to see you get past my security."

And, okay, the slugs weren't great, but the evil plans! He just had a lot on his mind with building a doomsday device, messing with Steve, finding an appropriate robe that flattered his figure for the ritual, shutting down JARVIS...

[maneatingtiger]

How many times had people around Hardison gone evil, now? Raven took another handful of fries. "Then I guess I won't ask again."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Well if Eliot were here acting shifty, that would be a different story.

Hardison looked at her again, gaze gone concerned. "You okay, TA?" he asked. "You seem a little on edge today. You an' Kathy ain't fightin', are you?"