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Luke's Diner, Thursday

Hardison was all prepared for the next round in this weird food war that was going on between him and the staff. Clenching his fists and squaring his shoulders, he reminded himself not to lose his temper at whatever offensive nonsense they tried to pull this week. That was how they won. No. He was going to go in, remain cool, and calmly insist that they change their specials to something that wasn't ridiculous, dammit.

With one more deep breath, he stepped inside. "A'ight, let's talk Specials!" he called.

"Already done 'em," the busboy said, bringing the board back to the front window. "They're all kinda obvious this week."

Today's Specials
Spicy Tuna Rolls
Goan Fish Curry
Beer-Battered Fish and Chips
Largemouth Bass and Dried Shrimp Gumbo

Seemed like the staff was holding a grudge at something else this week!

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The staff is here for all your vengeful fish-eating needs.

For once, he's not even mid-rant!

Kinda fascinated by the items that would have ended up around some of the NPCs, ngl.

"If I order a coffee, will it have fish in it?" Tony asked, eyeing the specials warily.

"I mean, I'mma assume not?" Hardison said, flashing Tony a sympathetic smile. "But I'mma give you 60/40 odds at best."

"You're all heart," Tony replied dryly. "Luckily I live on the edge."

"Hey man, I can't be held accountable for the staff," Hardison said with a shrug. "They do what they want, no matter what I say."

Which was why they were usually feuding.

"I'd tell 'em to be good, but that might just make it worse. Best I got?" He shrugged. "Big tipper in the house!" he called.

The busboy practically teleported to Tony's side, order pad at the ready.

"Let me guess - someone got trapped in that thing this weekend?" Miguel eyed the cook.

That made Tony crack up, nearly doubling over. "Is it that obvious?"

Because he was. He really was.

"Cause we met, like, even one time," Hardison said, snickering. "C'mon man. Even if you weren't from the get-go, Steve woulda launched into a PSA about tippin' just for you until you mended your ways."

Hardison shrugged. "Man, I ain't even asked," he said. "Because I do not need to know what ghosts were followin' 'em around if they were. Don't think I saw 'em, though."

In fairness, Hardison really hadn't had eyes for anybody but his crew. And Steve.

"I think I might have already paid for college for at least half the delivery people on island, just keeping Steve fed," he replied with a sheepish grin. "Coffee, please. And whatever fish thing you think will go with it."

"Coffee and a gumbo, coming right up!" The busboy said, practically saluting, before vanishing into the kitchen.

"They been pushin' the gumbo on everybody today," Hardison noted. "I think it's vengeance. Fortunately, it's good as hell."

"Vengence on you or the island?" Tony asked.

"On the fish? Or the island? Or both?" Hardison said, with a shrug. "I'm okay with eatin' some more bass after this weekend. Bein' stuck out in woods ain't my idea of fun without the rest of it."

"City boy," Tony replied, bumping his shoulder into Hardison's like he too wpuld never survive in the woods. "Thanks. For keeping an eye on Steve."

"The only one who ain't is Eliot, with his damn good ol' boy upbringin'," Hardison snorted.

So of course, who was the most traumatized of the four of them? Eliot. Leaving Steve, Parker, and Hardison to try to make survive on, like, tree bark and grass or whatever.

"But of course man," he said, nudging Tony right back. "Steve's my boy. Wasn't gonna let him freeze to death or sneeze himself a hernia."

Tony and Steve were his people now. And you always took care of your people.

Of course he had to go and adopt the superheroes.

"And he was probably pretty stubborn about it, wasn't he?"

Of course he did. Because he wasn't content to be the fragile one with just human-level partners. They didn't get into nearly enough trouble!

"I mean, he was Steve," Hardison said with a sigh. That meant 'Yes.' "Bad enough I was just in boxers so I couldn't give him a damn sweater, but then we had to have a 'discussion' about whether or not I was takin' any of his clothes."

THOSE WERE DEFINITELY AIR QUOTES, TONY.

If it helped, Tony was pretty used to being the fragile, squishy one in the group.

Well, out of armor.

He covered his face with his hands and sighed. "Somehow he 'forgot' to mention that bit."

"Weird that," Hardison snorted. "But in that case, I didn't say nothin'."

SNITCHES GOT STITCHES.

"My lips are sealed," Tony assured him. Anyway, he'd just worry silently at the man about it.

Miguel pondered it for a second. "Yeeaah, probably best not to ask." Then he parsed what Hardison had said. "You got caught in it, too?"

"It's Steve," Hardison reminded. "You really expected him to do anythin' else?"

And Hardison had been cold in just his boxers. Just not cold enough to take Steve's clothing.

"Yup," Hardison said, tired. "Me'n my partners were campin' across the way at Selkie Lake. Wasn't far enough though."

Stupid camping.

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Luke's Diner, Thursday

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