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Community Center Class: Tactics Pancake!!! | Monday

Nina was… incredibly nervous, actually, but no one was actually going to get to see that. The fact that she'd gotten the shakes before her first class was, like, no one's business and there was still the terrible, horrible idea lurking at the back of her mind that no one would show up and, like, sure, she knew it was a community center class—the moose had been thoroughly against a current student teaching a class at the school—so that meant the whole sign up thing was fluid and attendance was not required but………….

It was really too bad that sinking into a ladylike swoon over the whole thing would really just make actually teaching anything harder. Ugh.

She comforted herself that, truly, if no one showed up at least she would be there to help save the day and embrace the romance of the whole thing.

But talking to an empty room was still, like, not ideal.

Nonetheless, she would persevere!

Adjusting her dashing midnight blue beret upon her golden curls, Nina gave her cape (also midnight blue) an experimental swish, and then swept into her classroom.

Well. Community center room. Same difference.

"Gooooooooooooood evening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she said brightly. "Welcome to Tactics: Pancake!!! We were foully unable to hold class last week but this week, already, is much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm, like, your professor, Nina Argentum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Professor Argentum had a really great ring to it, but she wasn't going to, like, expect anyone to call her that. But she'd live in hope.

"This class is about epic romance and terrible tragedy and duty and sacrifice and love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The evil Lord Flatcake," and yes, yes Nina was saying that with a straight face, "is using the power of SPATULA against the kingdoms of Crepelandia and Pancakeia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

All of these things were deeply ridiculous. Nina was still saying them in deadly earnest.

"Against the backdrop of war, waged by the combined armies of Crepelandia and Pancakeia, who struggle desperately to hold back the unending hordes of reanimated monstrosities and creatures brought back from legend………………. Princess Danisha of Crepelandia and Prince Streuselas of Pancakeia have found themselves in love……………….. and an ancient prophecy declares this love may save them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yes. Yes, she was going with that.

"Unfortunately," Nina said, clasping her hands to her chest, "not a fortnight after the prophecy was unearthed, Prince Streuselas has gone missing……………… foul play is most certainly suspected, but nothing is confirmed aside from that he still lives……………."

And if her entire class was just her rambling about her story—because it was basically a novel at this point; she'd spent months on it—then Nina wouldn't mind at all, but it wouldn't be a class…

"Princess Danisha has summoned you," she said, levelling a glance at the room. "You are to be an elite task force to locate and rescue Prince Streuselas so that, together, they may overcome the power of SPATULA and end the threat of Lord Flatcake for once and for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nina took a seat upon a table, her legs primly crossed.

"So, compatriots," she said, "who are you????????????????? Your name, your skills, your loyalties…………… tell me this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[~~Plz to be waiting for the~~ OCD is up, up, and away!]

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Heroically!

It's… it's a thing.

Name and affiliation and skills!

Who is still super, duper pretending she's not incredibly anxious.

I can't write any of these names with a straight face ngl.

Prompto Argentum

It was a thing. A thing that Prompto was absolutely subtly recording on his phone the whole time while holding back proud little snickers.

This was so getting sent to Noct the moment Nina was finished.

Duke Crocker

Nina had shown up to a couple of Duke's yoga sessions now, so it seemed only fair that he show up to at least one of her . . . whatever the hell this class was.

And he was not regretting that decision at all.

He sat in the back of the class (he always sat in the back of the class, that was where you could get away with more things), slouched in his seat, hand pressed over his mouth to help keep the laughter to a minimum.

Where the hell did she come up with this stuff?

"This is a D&D kind of thing, right?"

Duke would deny ever having participated in any sort of D&D before. But he had been friends with Nathan Wuornos, card-carrying ultra-nerd, when they were kids, so he was not unfamiliar with the concept. (He'd played one game. Nathan had accused him of cheating and kicked him out, leading to one of their more epic fall-outs.)

(To be fair, Duke had absolutely been cheating.)

"It is a class about the dangerous quest to recover Prince Streuselas ," she said loftily. Then grinned. "But, like, you are now a member of either Pancakeia or Crepelandia and should comport yourself thusly."

Yes, yes it was like a D&D class.

"And, like, remember your breakfast pastries unless you wish to be summarily renamed……………."

Because everyone needed a breakfast pastry name for this. Everyone.

Except her.

"Really? So, like, I couldn't be a mysterious stranger from the distant land of Waffledonia, across the Syrupine Ocean, who, bereft of allegiance, comes to offer his skills to the highest bidder. And finds himself choosing sides despite himself when it turns out one of these noble lands offers him true friendship and acceptance for the first time in his dark and lonely life -- or so he claims."

Never let it be said that Duke couldn't work a trope when he needed to. He tended to spend a lot of time reading when he was at sea, after all.

………….

"…………………… that was not in the plan," she admitted, "but I find myself charmed by your tale--do tell me more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nina could work with some deviations here.

"Have you a name, o dark and mysterious stranger from a strange land??????????????????"

"Of course I do," Duke said, stalling as he searched for a good breakfast-y name. "You all can call me . . ." Something not too terribly stupid. . . . "Lox Bagel."

. . . It would do.

"Rogue-for-hire. I specialize in break-ins and transport, but I've been known to throw down when the situation calls for it. I carry an assortment of poisons of various potency, and a war-hatchet given to me by the Tsarina of the Beark Law."

Ooo, he liked that one.

"My loyalties are as flexible as my rates are unreasonable. And despite Pancakeia's historic attempts to annex my homeland for its bountiful natural resources, I promise I have no ulterior motives for showing up so shortly after his Highness's mysterious disappearance."

"Well....I'm Prompto," said Prompto, nodding a little and perhaps not exactly picking up yet on the fact that they were maybe supposed to create pastry-inspired nom de plumes to go along with Nina and all her ridiculous glory, "fastest guns in all of...Breakfastland?" Look, if Nina was making this all up as she went along (which he, honestly, wasn't sure if she was...actually, no, she probably had this all planned out, didn't she?)...well, if she could make stuff up, then so could he! "And, I mean, obviously I've gotta side with the Prince of Pancakeia in this one."

Siding with Princes? Kiiiiinda what he did, yo.

She had it so planned out. So planned out. There were chapters and sequel hooks.

~~I have spent way too much time on this madness.~~

"I dub thee Eggolas," she said cheerfully, because yes, yes he was getting named after a fast and easy and unhealthy breakfast food since she couldn't name him Cup Noodle and be in step with her own theme. "Loyal retainer to the prince!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In his absence, do you agree with the princess' decision to form a task force???????????????"

"Are you willing to swear by the Fork of Truthiness???????????????" she said, rather delighted. "As to your current allegiances?????????????"

A beat.

"Are you also secretly Prince Bagellan of Waffledonia?????????????"

Prompto giggled.

Sorry, Nina. He was not going to be able to take any of this seriously...while, at the same time, also managing to get super into it, because he obviously loved stuff like this and he was here to support his little sister through and through!

But he wouldn't be able to do any of it with a straight face. His face was going to be hurting from smirking and smiling so much after this class.

"Heh," he said. "Eggolas. I dig it. But, yes, yeah, totally down with the task force! Let's get this Flat bastard and go save our prince!"

Was it bad that Prince Streuselas was now totally Noctis in his mind now? Because he was so totally Noctis in his mind now, and there was so much potential in all of this.

Nina gave him an absolutely tragic look of despair at his giggling. She was also not surprised, mind, but tragic despair.

Though had she known he was turning Noctis into a prince of breakfast pastry…

"So tell me, Eggolas," she said, "how well do you know your prince????????????????? Would he make the decision to disappear of his own accord……….??????????????????"

"Well, m'lady," ~~Prompto~~ Eggolas said, starting to get into the groove of the character...especially since that character was pretty much shaping up to be...well, himself, but better and fancier, tilting his head with a little gesture as if tipping a hat to her, "if I may be so bold, I would go so far as to claim that I know my prince better than almost anyone! We are the best of friends, and have been since our very childhood."

Okay, so maybe veering off his actual story for a little wish fulfilment here, but shhhh.

"And I can assure you that he most certainly would never dream of disappearing like this without warning or word! It's absolutely appalling to think otherwise, especially not when his country needs him and so close to the impending occation of his bethrothal to his lady love!"

OHBOY, he was going to feel a sting in words like those in a couple of years, now wasn't he?

But, for now, he was just having fun making up a story that was clearly just implausible silliness.

"Something dire is afoot! I just know it! We must root it out....ASAP!"

"Please. Everyone knows that Prince Bagellan was reportedly killed in action during the Great Butter Coup five years ago. I am clearly a rogue and peasant. Any resemblance I may have to the great, late, deposed Prince is purely coincidental."

Okay, he had to admit it. This was a lot of fun.

"As for the Fork of Truthiness. . . . Is that a magical Fork, or merely symbolic?"

Better and fancier but with a much sillier name!

"And, like, because he didn't take you with him????????????????? Would he have done so, do you think, had there been a legit reason to go???????????????"

"It is a real fork," she said, eyes wide at the audacity of his doubt towards the Fork of Truthiness. "And should you lie before it, it will tine you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It, like, has its limitations though and a clever and mysterious rogue would likely be able to lie without lying……………….."

"Oh, well, in that case, sure. Bring on the fork. It's not as though Lox Bagel has been anything but straightforward in his mercenary tendencies."

"Despite Lox Bagel's suspicious resemblance to the late Prince Bagellan," Nina noted, nodding. "I, like, look forward to seeing where this goes…………….."

"You say suspicious. I say coincidentally advantageous." Duke shrugged. "Glad Waffledonia could represent."

There was...a moment's hesitation.

Because honestly? He certainly hoped it wasn't some sort of wish fulfillment to think that it would be true, that he would take Prompto with him, but now he had dooouuubbbttsss...

...and Noct did seem like he'd be just broody enough to think that he didn't want to burden anyone else or try to slink off by himself, didn't he?

Not that Prompto could relate to that. A-hem.

"Erm...." Then again, it wasn't Noct, it was Prince Streuselas, sooooo....

"Yes," he concluded, firmly, almost gravely. "Exactly. There's no way he would have left without at least telling me. Not a chance."

MY GOD I can't wait to recap this every week.

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Community Center Class: Tactics Pancake!!! | Monday

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