Magic Box, Monday

[existencemisspent]

There were turkeys in the magic store.

"This feels . . . above my paygrade," Eliot decided. And other than enchanting the floor to magically vanish any droppings they might leave, did his absolute best to ignore the general cacophony.

You know, at least until they decided some of the spells and things looked tasty.

"I don't think you want to -- and now you have teeth. Oh fuck."

Anyone coming in would find Eliot standing on the checkout counter, trying to ward off toothy turkeys with a decorative cinnamon broom.

"And I thought Thanksgivings on the farm were terrible. . . ."

[IDEK. open!]

Comments

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“All right, you rabid fucking fowl motherfuckers,” Margo snapped, entering the room with the palm of one hand pressed to the back of her other hand, the first hand angled slightly up. The battle spell roared in her body, ready to go. “Stop it right now or I’m gonna blow you all out the window and straight into downtown DC for the Secret Service to clean up.”

[existencemisspent]

Eliot looked up from where he was playing tug of war with a turkey latched onto his pant-leg, hands clamped on the sales counter to keep from being pulled off it.

Fuckers were weirdly strong.

"Bambi! Oh thank god."

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“I’m warning you one more time, you beaked freak,” Margo said. She advanced on the turkey clinging to Eliot’s pant-leg. “Shoo!”

[existencemisspent]

"Yeah, they haven't responded well to threats," Eliot said. "I don't think they're talking turkeys."

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Fine,” Margo growled. “Duck!”

The spell went soaring, striking the turkey straight in the chest.

[existencemisspent]

Eliot shrank as best he could, and yanked his leg up onto the counter the moment the turkey was blown back.

"They ate something on that shelf," he explained, pointing to a row of potions that had gotten knocked to the floor. "No idea where they came from in the first place."

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Well, shoo,” Margo snapped at the rest of the turkeys. She fumbled for something– anything.

Anything wound up being a book.

“Shoo!” she said, waving it at the birds. “Get the fuck outta here before we decide to just eat your fucking carcasses.”

[existencemisspent]

"Oh my, why didn't I think of that," Eliot said dryly, firing off a magic missile of his own now that he wasn't hanging onto his perch anymore. "I'm sure 'shooing' will be very effective."

He got grumpy when he was trying not to be eaten.

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Hey, I’m not the one standing on the counter screaming and clutching my skirts like this is the 1920s, so take it down a notch!” Margo snapped.

She threw a book at the closest turkey. It was the best she had right now.

[existencemisspent]

"This is a perfectly reasonable defensive position," Eliot said.

The turkeys were turning on Margo now. Which would not do.

"Bambi, watch out!"

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Oh, hell no, you are not fucking up this outfit,” Margo snapped, flailing around for. . . a staff? A big phallic wooden thing.

She jabbed it towards the turkeys. “Don’t you dare!”

[existencemisspent]

Eliot aimed another magic missile at the thing.

Was it sad that he was much better at his battle magic when someone other than himself was under threat?

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

A little.

There was a loud squawk, and a little cloud of feathers burst up from the area the turkey had just vacated. Margo swung around and smacked another one on the ass. “Ha!”

[existencemisspent]

Well. Eliot was nothing if not a little sad.

"That's it, Bambi, give them a good spanking."