Fandom Trooper Station, Wednesday

[hatesparadise]

Well, something was going on in town if you listened to the calls coming in. The very weird, very annoying calls that Danny was just letting the Troopers sift through for what was real and what was just the Bee Lady being the Bee Lady.

Or the Bee Lady being serious about things.

"Hold down the fort," Danny called, digging out spare supplies from Steve's desk to go join him out in town.

Which would have worked had he not almost immediately been scratched by a crazed looking bear thing the moment he stepped outside. And then there was now a crazed looking weregopher in his place.

Look out, Fandom. There was a weregopher about.

[I had to]

Comments

[grenadesandohana]

Steve trotted back towards the Trooper Station to pick up a tranquilizer gun that he assumed they had for polar bear attacks and dinosaurs and whatever and slowed down when he saw another animal by the door.

"I'm going to ask you to step away from the station, sir or ma'am," he called. Surely this would be more successful than the last time he tried it?

[hatesparadise]

WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME, STEVEN.

Gopher!Danny was already making a beeline to Steve's ankles to just bite the hell out of them. As one does as a weregopher.

[grenadesandohana]

And now Steve was doing a deeply undignified little dance trying to avoid the angry...weregopher.

"What the hell is going on today?"

[hatesparadise]

It was one of those weeks.

And the weregopher wasn't giving up in his quest to bite Steve's ankles, really going to town now in that attempt.

[grenadesandohana]

While Steve wouldn't describe his next move as scurrying, others might? The thing where he kind of ran past the weregopher and went into the office and all of the Troopers were already up on their desk?

"Wow," he said dryly. "Impressive."

[hatesparadise]

They knew better than to put themselves at risk here, Steve. Because sometimes the island was just weird and they wanted to be left out of it.

Also, their health insurance wasn't the best.

The gopher smacked into the door in an almost adorable fashion. If it weren't, you know, murderous.

[grenadesandohana]

But also, you know, a gopher.

"That's kind of cute," Steve said. "It's trying so hard to get in."

And murder his ankles.

[hatesparadise]

But he was a weregopher! So he might get through that door if you just gave him some time there.

The troopers, on the other hand, were busy doing rock-paper-scissors for who had to inform Steve that the murder rodent was his partner. Ralph was less than pleased to win that dubious honor.

This was just gonna get them more laps.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve took the news well!

Well. He took the news loudly.

"That's Danny?!"

He gaped at the door for a very long beat.

"...do you think I could get a picture?"

Steven.

[hatesparadise]

Which meant this was the time for the condensed rage to break a hole through the door in some really weird version of 'Heeeere's Johnny!'.

But, again, as a gopher.

[grenadesandohana]

Steve burst out laughing. "Oh, Danny. That was...truly terrifying."

Steve, stop baiting the weregopher.

[hatesparadise]

Did the Troopers have to start snickering? No. But they were.

Oh, he was definitely going to infect you extra now, Steve. That was just rude.

[grenadesandohana]

"Hey now," Steve said, hopping onto Diego's desk. "I've incapacitated a raccoon already today. I'll do it again."

[hatesparadise]

You really might have to, Steve. Because gopher!Danny was out for blood! Or a mild scratching. It was hard to tell the difference as he leapt at the desk.

[grenadesandohana]

And that was Steve taking down another mammal.

He life was so weird today.

"Sorry, Danno," he muttered, pulling him towards the jail cell.