The Perk, Tuesday Afternoon

[deathsmajesty]

Tuesdays were the days that Liliana tended to spend most in town, making visits and doing a bit of shopping. Which was why she was here, at the crack of noon, fortifying herself with a coffee that was half-dessert, and a chocolate croissant. She'd already paid for a large black coffee she'd pick up as she was leaving to bring to Ignis at the diner.

Currently, someone she didn't recognize was having a breakdown at the counter over what they were declaring the "encroachment of commercialization and dumbing down to the lowest common denominator over the underappreciated and traditional!" The rant would have been entertaining by itself, but paired with the obvious unconcern of the baristas, had been elevated to some kind of performance art. Liliana had no compunctions about sitting back and watching this with open amusement while sipping her white mocha raspberry coffee.

She'd have to ask someone about the cultural significance of apple cider later. She didn't want to interrupt the show.

[Open!]

Comments

[stykera]

Stark had gone to the gym and he'd gone to his class and now it was time for a treat.

Although if you asked Stark it was almost always time for a treat. The treat in this case was a peppermint mocha latte (extra whipped cream) which he was sipping as he turned to look for a seat.

He spotted Liliana and hesitated a little before offering a nod and a quiet hello.

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana was still avidly watching the show, which had now been upgraded to histrionics, and so quickly gestured Stark to sit down with her.

"Stark," she hissed in urgent tones usually reserved for questions about national security and the like, "what is apple cider and why is its place on the menu so vitally important?"

[stykera]

"It's just a drink," Stark said, "made from apples. Like juice but better. Or sometimes it's alcoholic but I don't think they have that sort in here only at the bars."

He paused. "It's very good warmed up," he added. "The regular kind. With spices."

Maybe he should have had a mulled cider drink instead of his peppermint mocha but he did love peppermint mochas.

[deathsmajesty]

"Oh, that does sound lovely," Liliana said. "Is it used for religious purposes? Cultural ones? Is it important in any kind of...seasonal rites or anything?"

Look, there were actually tears in the midst of this rant about 'pumpkin spice perfidy,' you couldn't blame a woman for assuming there was something important actually at stake. Later, she'd be hard-pressed to decide whether the lack of gravitas made this more or less hilarious. (Probably more.)

[stykera]

Stark took a sip of his drink as he watched the goings-on at the counter then shook his head.

"Not that I'm aware of. I think it just tastes good and apples are in season in the fall so there are more of them and more things made from them."

[deathsmajesty]

"Fascinating," Liliana said, nominally turning her attention to him, but keeping one eye on the counter. Not a single barista was paying attention to this glorious rant and that really did just keep making it better. "And how are you, Stark? Did you have a good time at my party?"

[stykera]

It was a rather glorious monologue, wasn't it?

"I did have a good time," Stark said. "I wasn't sure, at first, if i ought to come. But I'm glad I did."

[deathsmajesty]

Would it be rude if they applauded at the end?

"If you hadn't been invited, you would have been informed," Liliana told him. "Unless you weren't sure if you should go for your own reasons, in which case..." She toasted him slightly as if to say 'valid.' "I'm pleased you had fun though. I enjoyed our conversation."

[stykera]

If only the Perk sold popcorn!

"I worry," Stark said with a small shrug. "About many things. Like whether I'm welcome certain places or by certain people. Sometimes I get it wrong."

[deathsmajesty]

"That's one of the many delightful things about me, darling," Liliana drawled. "You'll always have a general idea of where you stand with me."

Unless she was making plans to kill you, in which case you likely wouldn't. But just saying that would undermine the fact entirely.

[stykera]

Stark would prefer if no plans were made to kill him, thanks.

"All right," he said. "That's good. I think."

He wasn't entirely sure where he stood but he was somewhat confident that she wasn't going to attack him any time soon. Whether or not he might be used as a battery was more of a questions.

"I like to think people know where they are, with me. But sometimes they don't seem to."

[deathsmajesty]

We all wanted things, Stark.

And look, here Liliana wasn't saying anything snide about knowing where she stood with him being of strictly secondary importance to knowing whether or not his offer to help was going to be fatal. A+ to Liliana, we're very proud her.

"And why do you think that might be?" she asked, sipping her confection that was pretending it was coffee.

She had no immediate intentions of using you as a battery, Stark, and that was honestly the best you were gonna get.

[stykera]

Coffee in name only was the best sort of coffee, wasn't it? Excessively sugary and flavored.

"I confuse people sometimes, I think. I confuse myself."

And sometimes people thought you wanted to murder them even though you'd only ever had pleasant conversations before!

"Of course, they confuse me too. I suppose it works out."

[deathsmajesty]

Because you used your power to try to convince them to go into the void light and then something came out of the void light and tried to drag you into it. So not like that belief came out of nowhere.

Besides why in Mishra's name would you tell someone you planned to kill them? That just seemed like terrible planning.

"Part of it is your inability to form a coherent narrative, I'm sure," Liliana offered. Like a helper. "Your thought patterns are, I presume, very chaotic."

[stykera]

"Inside my head can be loud," Stark said. "It isn't always and it's better than it was. I'm better than I was."

You should see him when he's been recently traumatized, Liliana!

[deathsmajesty]

Oh, no thank you. That sounded like a job for someone with more patience and empathy than Liliana had.

"From what I've been able to gather, you've gone through some fairly traumatic experiences," she noted. She was no blue mental mage, of course, but feeling...how many?...people die in your brain was probably bad for it.

Idly, she wondered what Jace would think of Stark's brain and then pushed that thought away.

[stykera]

"Scarrans and Peacekeepers and Scorpius and losing so many people."

He'd lost so many people, Liliana.

"Thousands of deaths."

After fifteen thousand deaths, what's fifteen thousand and one?

"The universe can be cruel, often, so I try not to be."

[deathsmajesty]

It should surprise no one that Liliana lived her life according to that italicized philosophy. But then, Stark really didn't want to know her body count, either. Not that she could give more than an estimate anyway.

The ones she regretted could be counted on one hand.

"Cruelty is a useful tool," she replied. "Occasionally a vice to be indulged in, but more often than not, that just gets messy. Makes things personal. Better to keep it for the rare times when it serves a purpose beyond simple satisfaction."

See! They agreed!

[stykera]

"I have no desire to add to the cruelty if it can be avoided," Stark said.

He'd had enough cruelty to last several lifetimes.

[deathsmajesty]

Whereas Liliana had been doling out the cruelty. For reasons.

"A laudable goal," she said, and didn't even sound dismissive! "Difficult to do, of course. Cruelty is just as possible between two people as two million."

[stykera]

"I try," Stark said. "That's all any of us can do, isn't it? I just try to be kind when I can."

Yes, helping people die peacefully was kind, Liliana.

[deathsmajesty]

Not when they didn't want to, it was not.

"I try to be kind when I want to be," Liliana said. "My kindness is not something that everyone is entitled to."

[stykera]

If the alternative was dying painfully then it was!

"I usually want to be," Stark said. "I've seen enough cruelty. Everything was cruelty for so long. I don't need to be cruel."

[deathsmajesty]

Again, if they didn't want to, it wasn't.

"You can be neither cruel nor kind," she pointed out. "There's value neutral."

[stykera]

Maybe Necromancers Georg was an outlier and should not be counted!

"You can be," Stark agreed. "I'd still rather be kind, given the option."

[deathsmajesty]

Even the dying get a say in the way of their deaths!

"Sure," Liliana agreed. "You can choose to be kind all you like. I'm simply pointing out you can choose to be neither."

[stykera]

Maybe she would have had a say if there hadn't been scary scary men lurking to to mess with poor glowy aliens just trying to help!

"I know. I just...Sometimes that seems almost as bad. To me, at least."

[deathsmajesty]

No, because he'd definitely started the whole 'go into the light' process before the scary men had started being scary. That's how they'd gotten to him. They were a defense mechanism, thank you.

Liliana raised an eyebrow. "You think...not being kind...is...functionally equivalent...to cruelty," she repeated. Slowly. To make sure he had a chance to hear himself.

[stykera]

"No, not equivalent," Stark said. "Almost and not always. It's just that sometimes not being kind when you could be is like...like doing nothing when you could be helping. Does that make sense?"

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana blinked at him. "I understand your meaning, yes," she said slowly. "But you make it sound like you're saying that helping is a requirement."

She assured you, Stark. You absolutely did not have to help. Even if you could.

[stykera]

"That's not what I mean," Stark said, sighing a little before taking a long sip from his coffee.

"I just feel like I ought to be doing more."

It was related to the worrying and how this island was quiet and maybe he ought to be somewhere else where he could be of more use.

[deathsmajesty]

"Why?"

Why was everybody so invested in being useful? You could just be. She wasn't sure why she was the one banging the drum of You don't have to prove your worth, you can just exist!

[stykera]

"Because if I'm not doing enough, I'm not useful, then I won't be wanted around," Stark said before he could think better of it.

"I worry," he repeated after a long pause.

[deathsmajesty]

Liliana pinched the bridge of her nose. Why was this up to her? She wasn't the warm and fuzzy friendship type! She was the cold and forbidding necromancer type!

"Stark," she said quietly, "if your friends require you to be useful to think you have value, then they are not your friends. Looking at you like a usable resource is how your slavers looked at you. Not as a person but a thing. And, yes, you may worry, but you owe your friends the belief that they aren't the same calibre of person as your slavers were."

This was like the kind of heroic speech that someone would make in a penny dreadful and Liliana is mad that she was making it.

[stykera]

Stark was like a puppy sometimes and he just inspired these feelings in people. Often in people who could easily kill him. It was a talent.

"It's one thing to know that," Stark said. "It's another to remember to believe it all the time. It's a habit. And I'm...I'm a work in progress."

[deathsmajesty]

Hey now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. There was no inspiring here. She was using little words to explain to Stark that his friends were better than slavers. That was a low bar she was aggravated she had to step over, tyvm.

"And how are you working on it?" she queried, one elegant brow arched.

[stykera]

Too late, Liliana. You'd been exposed to the big, sad eye of the glowy alien.

"By reminding myself I don't always have to be useful," Stark said. "Or having others remind me. And, sometimes, by just by doing things for me and not for any other reason. I don't always remember."

Stark's life had done a number on his sense of self-worth, okay?

[deathsmajesty]

And Liliana was looking at those big, sad glowy aliens eyes and blinking at him like an unimpressed cat.

"May I suggest every time you notice you're thinking along those lines, you immediately remind yourself that it's false? 'So-and-so cares for me more than the Scarrans' or whatever it is you're saying as a reminder."