Late Saturday [NOT FOR BROADCAST] CJ/Shane revelations

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

She's got one whole box packed, thanks to chatting with Elizabeth . She was really happy to have an assistant again, and E. was so smart, a real firecracker in class. It was hard not to show her favor in class...she really didn't belong in high school with a mind like that.

Walking around the apartment, she realized how little she was attached to most of this stuff. She'd bought it because she liked its look, or it was functional, but honestly, she'd barely been home in DC, and she was barely here in town before she began staying at Ten's.

She sat on the sofa and closed her eyes. Ten. A smile spread across her face. She'd been gone so long today. She couldn't wait to get home to see him. She grabbed the box...not heavy, and with only the things she really wanted to have with her. Pictures mostly, and Bast...couldn't leave her behind.

She locked the door behind her and started the trip across the park. When had it gotten so late? Approaching the bench by the lake, she spied shane_mcc, always a welcome sight.

Comments

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Shane was seated on her usual bench overlooking the pond, legs folded up under her as she looked out over the water, watching the leaves tumble down to settle on the dark, gleaming surface. Drawing in a slow, deep breath, she let it out in an equally deliberate sigh. She'd missed autumn.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Hey doll...don't you have a home? [smiles at Shane, with a box in her arms]

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Shane chuckles. "Yeah, I do... it's really nice," she says with a broad grin. She spies the box and nods at it. "What's that you've got there?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Stuff. Pictures, some other junk. I'm going to rent my place out if I ever get any applicants...since I'm living here full time now. Just thought I'd bring over a few things.

What are you up to?

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Shane shrugs, smiling as she folds her arms over her chest to keep her hands warm. She's wearing her gray hoodie, but she doesn't have any gloves on. "Nothin' much," she murmurs, opting to tuck her hands into the pockets of her hoodie, instead. "Just... getting some air?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Air my ass. You look cold. Come inside with me. [fumbles for her little glowey key that lets her in the TARDIS]

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Laughing, Shane unfolds her legs from the bench and stands, following CJ to the TARDIS. "I don't mind the cold," she says, reaching for the box CJ's fighting with. "Or the leaves. I really missed this when I was living out west. Here, let me help."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Thanks. [opens the door]

I know what you mean...in DC we had such distinct seasons. In LA it's various shades of brown, and at Berkeley the seasons were wet, damp, kinda dry, and gay pride. [smiles at her own joke] God, I miss Berkeley sometimes.

Want a Coke?

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

"That'd be nice, thank you," Shane says, laughing as she follows her inside. "So, where's Ten...?"

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Here someplace...[goes and gets two Cokes]...some days he disappears and I don't see him at all. He's around, though. I don't know how big this place really is, but he says near-infinite, which is pretty big.

How was the party last night?

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

"Very cool," she says with a grin as she takes a seat on the couch. "I met a guy named Carl. Seemed kinda nice. Kate showed up and I introduced her to Michael and Ben and Red..."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Wow...social girl! Ten and I went to the dance, and we had planned on stopping in, but we, um...got distracted.

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

"I'm sure you did," Shane says, grin broadening even more, eyes sparkling mischievously. "You'll have to let me see your pictures when you get them back."

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Shane rubs the handkerchief into each of her eyes, hopelessly smudging her already melting eyeliner. Her lips press in to a thin, pale line as she nods, tears streaming down her face afresh. "I never -- I mean, they offered me more if I'd... but I never -- I never," she says, sniffing as she shakes her head. "I woul-- I wouldn't, because... I don't like -- I'm not..." she trails off, eyes squeezing shut as she rubs at her temple, shoulders shaking with noiseless sobs.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

[She wraps both arms around her and cradles her gently, letting her cry. Tears roll down her own cheeks.]

I know, honey. I know.

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Once the sobs have subsided, Shane takes a deep shaky breath. "I can't... I can't ever tell her," she murmurs, voice hoarse and thick with tears. "She's the best fucking thing that ever happened to me, CJ. When she... looks at me, sometimes it's like... it's like it never happened, y'know?" Lifting her head up, Shane tries to focus her watery eyes on CJ. "Like... sometimes I forget it's me she's looking at, because... it's like -- it's like I'm special. She looks at me like I'm so special. Like I matter, like... like I'm... beautiful, like she is."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

[Whispers] Precious. I know. Beautiful and precious and special.

[She wipes the tears away from Shane's cheeks with her thumb]

God, honey. I know. Never tell. Never.

[She takes her arm from around Shane's shoulder and clasps her hand]

Come on. You aren't going home alone tonight, and you aren't going to be ready to see Kate if she comes home and finds you like this. You're staying here tonight. You can have my bedroom.

[Stands, pulling her hand]

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

"CJ, I can't do that," Shane says quietly as she stands up. "It's your room."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Shane...I sleep with Ten. It's my room so I can feel like I have my own space when I need it. Tonight I need it...for you. Please. Don't be alone. Not now.

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Brows knitting together, Shane nods. "O-okay... okay," she murmurs softly, nodding. "Thank you."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

Come on. [Leads her by the hand back into the TARDIS, and down the hall to her room. She sits on the bed]

This is it. Tomorrow we'll wake up and it'll be a brand new day. Maybe we'll both feel better...maybe we won't feel any different. Either way, we're not alone, right?

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

"Right," Shane says quietly. She looks around for a moment and smiles and it's a pale imitation of her usual bright, sweet smile. "It's a nice room." Biting her lip for a moment, she looks down. "I think... I think it will be better," she says in her deliberate way, nodding.

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

It could be. It's the hope that it could be that keeps me going. And one day I'll be right and it will be.

[Turns back the covers] Lay down, I'll tuck you in.

[shane-mcc.livejournal.com]

Shane opens her mouth to protest, but knows that CJ will only keep asking until she says yes, so she closes her mouth and nods. Unzipping her hoodie, she drapes it on the foot of the bed and climbs up into the bed, fingertips searching for the screen-printed letters on the front of her t-shirt. "I'm sorry you didn't get to go to the party last night," she says, her voice soft, body already giving in to the patient whispers of sleep. "Kate wore this dress... it was so... amazing..."

[prof-cregg.livejournal.com]

[She pulls the covers up around Shane, then lays down on top of them, petting her hair] I bet. She's lovely in everything I've seen.