fandomtownies | Monday Night, Late

Monday Night, Late

She and Ten get back to town. She parks the car at the lot, and they walk back to the TARDIS. It's clear she has something on her mind, but she isn't ready to talk to him.

She picks through the kitchen to find some old scones, and goes out to the park bench by the pond. The ducks are greedy and do not sleep when there are blueberry scones to be had. She absentmindedly tosses them bits as she stares at the water.

((Come Play...especially

a_phale if you're still up))

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Aziraphale has the sense that something is in the air, something...small, and yet momentous, and it's made him restless. Walking down toward the park, he spies CJ sitting near the pond, and heads her way.

[She sits, throwing crumbs to the ducks, watching them scramble in the darkness for the sweet bits. Looking up with a small, amused smile on her face, she sees Mr. Phale]

Good evening.

"Good evening, Miss Cregg. May I join you?" Knowing what the answer will be, Aziraphale takes a seat next to CJ and pulls a small paper bag out of his pocket. The situation feels familiar, and comfortable, and he smiles as he tosses a bit of bread to the ducks.

Mr. Phale...I'm so glad to see you. [tosses a small chunk]

Did you see my car?

Aziraphale heard the car roar past earlier in the day, and wonders if the sound of it had something to do with his odd sense of elation.

"I did, Miss Cregg, or rather...I heard it." He smiles at her, to show that he doesn't mind the hearing of it.

It's fantastic. I'm in love! [She smiles and laughs for a moment, but the smile fades fast] Ten and I went for a drive tonight. Out of town.

Noticing the fading smile, Aziraphale gives her a concerned look. "Did you enjoy the drive?" he asks softly.

I loved the drive. I let the horses run. Put it in fifth and pushed it hard. It was brilliant. [She breaks off another chunk] That's what Ten said. Brilliant. [sighs]

Aziraphale nods, a slightly faraway look in his eyes. "I...understand it's quite exciting." He smiles.

"What color is it?"

Blue. Black interior. My old one was blue...baby blue. This one is royal. [she nibbles a bit of scone before tossing it to the ground]

Mr. Phale?...nevermind.

Aziraphale comes swiftly back from the place he was in his mind. "Hm? Yes, Miss Cregg?" He absently hands her half a biscuit from the paper bag, much less stale than the blueberry scones.

Thank you. You seem distracted tonight? You listen to everyone, do you need to talk? I'm a good listener...

"Oh, no thank you, Miss Cregg. I...apologize for being distracted. Actually, I'm in a rather better mood than I have been in quite some time."

Don't apologize. You're only human. It's part and parcel...getting distracted. So then, why are you in a better mood?

Aziraphale blinks and gives CJ an odd amused look. "Erm, yes." He pauses for a moment and tosses a piece of bread toward one of the ducks, who seems to be getting shut out by his greedy friends.

"I'm not really certain, to tell the truth. I...feel as though something good is about to happen."

Really? That's wonderful...I wish I felt that way more often.

"Are you feeling unhappy?" Aziraphale turns away from the ducks to face CJ. "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

[She gives him a small smile] How do you always do that? You always know. Yes. And no.

[brushes the scone crumbs off her fingers and leans forward to watch the ducks]

I'm having some doubts about Ten and I. I love him, I love him like I've never loved anyone...but things have been moving so very fast.

Aziraphale smiles. "Yes, I do always know," he says quietly.

"Have you talked to T- the Doctor about how you feel?"

Not yet...[sighs]...I don't quite know how to tell him. It sounds so stupid every time I say it.

"Gee honey, I love you more than I can say and my soul wasn't whole until I met you, and the thought of being without you makes me stop breathing, but I think were rushing into things and maybe we should pull back..."

[she's quiet for a minute]

Not like there's any going back. Unless I move in with Adam, and that would be...bad.

Aziraphale doesn't speak for a moment. Then he looks at CJ and smiles again. "In fact, Miss Cregg, I think perhaps that is exactly what you should tell him."

Mr. Phale...I...[she looks down, concentrating on her fingers]

I don't want to hurt him.

"Miss Cregg," he says very softly. "You are far likelier to hurt him by pretending than you are by telling him the truth."

I don't want him to think I don't want him. Because I do...but six weeks ago we'd never even met, and now. Now. I'm living with him, sleeping with him. Taking him with me on a drive through the state at top speed, and I felt so free and wild and...[she looks at Phale]...and I wished I hadn't invited him along.

Nodding, Aziraphale gives CJ's arm a kindly pat. "Nonetheless, you should still tell him. Before he figures it out for himself. Although...perhaps you should leave out that last bit."

I know I need to. It's just hard. How do you tell someone you're losing yourself in them? That you can feel your strength and you personality and your...being, just fading back to be someone new. [she crushes up the biscuit she's been holding and tosses it to the ducks]

Before I came here, I was strong. I did a lot. The strange things here...I'm getting used to them. As I become accustomed to it, I really don't like what a victim I've become. I pride myself on my strength and ability to adapt quickly. And Ten saves me. Every time I'm hurt, he saves me.

[she tips her head up to meet his gaze, a lock of hair falling over her eye]

How do I tell him I can save myself?

Aziraphale doesn't answer her question immediately, as it's one of the very difficult ones. How do you tell someone that you appreciate that they can save you but don't want them to save you?

"Balance," he finally says.

Balance?

[She can suddenly hear Toby in her head...What? I should stand on one leg?]

Balance. I don't understand, Mr. Phale.

Aziraphale gives CJ an enigmatic smile. "You need to find a balance, Miss Cregg. Perhaps one facet of the problem is that part of what you like about the Doctor is that he's strong, strong enough to protect you if you need it. But you also would like him to show restraint, and know when not to protect you, when to let you take care of yourself." His smile becomes more rueful. "Although, if I am right, I'm afraid the only way you're going to achieve it is to talk about it." Or spend an eternity letting it work itself out.

I see. Yes. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I don't think this should really wait any longer.

[She stands and shoos the last of the ducks away]

Mr. Phale. Thank you. You always know just what to say. I wish you had someone you felt you could open up to. Helping people only does so much for you. You need balance too. [She leans in and hugs him] Goodnight, Mr. Phale.

Aziraphale hugs her back, touched by her concern for him. "Thank you, Miss Cregg. Perhaps tomorrow will bring something good for both of us."

He smiles to himself as he watches her leave, and then turns back to the pond and continues feeding the ducks.

(([smiles at the subtext]))

[:)]

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Monday Night, Late

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