fandomtownies | Aziraphale's Rare Books, Wednesday Afternoon

[Sitting in the usual chair, sipping tea and reading the collected works of Rudyard Kipling, he looks up at the girl. His voice is chilling and soft]

Kiki, my pet. Come to pester me a bit?

"No - well, yes, I guess," Kiki corrects herself. "But I'll try to keep it brief. Mr. Aziraphale isn't around, is he? Because I wanted to speak to you particularly."

No, pet...I have you all to myself. [He sets the book down and leans forward] Won't you join me for a cup of tea?

"Yes, thank you," Kiki nods, sitting down opposite Crowley. "You see, sir," she says, taking the cup of tea, "I want to thank you, for what you said to me the other day, when I met you. About being a pest? Because I am one, I just didn't see how selfish I was being, taking advantage of Mr. Aziraphale's hospitality like that. It's not fair to him; just because he happens to like my stopping in is no reason to do it, right?"

Kiki pulls a package out of her basket and holds it out to him. It's a small-ish box, tied with a bright golden bow, and filled with several fistfuls of butterscotch candies. "Well, sir,"Kiki continues, holding out the box, "I just wanted to give this to you to thank you for opening my eyes as you did. I wasn't really sure what you liked...I hope these are okay."

[He holds the box, gently. He turns his gaze from Kiki, to the box, back to Kiki. His mouth is soft, a gentle smile playing at the corners. Suddenly, he sits up straight, sets his jaw firmly, and nearly growls]

You can't bribe me, pet. Perhaps this kind of thing works with my angel, but sweets are for the sweet, so they say. I have never been called sweet. ~~Until last night, by that Witch, that is~~. You should use that pretty head of yours for other things besides plotting and deceipt. [He pours her a cup of tea.] Do you take sugar?

"Bribe?" Kiki repeats, genuinely astonished. "But it's not a bribe at all. I just wanted to say thank you. I really was being very thoughtless. No sugar, thanks." As an afterthought, Kiki says, "No strings attached, either. Just...my gratitude," she finishes sincerely.

Gratitude smacks of pride, my lovely. Pride is the sin by which fell the angels. You'd take care not to puff up too much with your little gestures. You covet acceptance...I'll not corrupt you more by giving it to you. [Hands her the cup on a saucer].

Meddlesome pests are never pleasant company. Biscuit? [Offers her a plate of iced delights]

Kiki scratches her head and takes a biscuit absently. "Gratitude is being proud?" she ponders out loud. "Does that mean if you never bother thanking anybody for anything that makes you humble?"

She takes a bite of the biscuit. "Acceptance or not," she concludes, "I am who I am. But I'll agree with you on meddlesome pests." She winks at Crowley and grins.

Manners and propriety are civilized ways to act, Kiki, my pet. But to feel the desire deep in your soul, a gnawing hunger for a reaction and not a warmth from the act itself gone unrecognized, yesss, girl. There is your sin.

For example, you left my angel money under the teapot. You did it discretely, and asked no thanks. That was true gratitude. To come to me with candy and words and inane chatter...to drink my tea and eat my biscuits, and not realize you are doing it simply so I will like you, or at least be kind to you, is ignorance.

It's no wonder you're so cheerful, poppet. Bliss follows ignorance like rats follow refuse.

Kiki shrugs and finishes the biscuit. "I didn't expect you to thank me for it. I don't see the point in thanking someone for their thanks. And I don't see the point in expecting anybody to do anything. I don't see a point, either, in resenting someone for accepting something offered and given," Kiki glances first at the box of butterscotch candies and then her eyes shift to her half-empty teacup.

"To hate the thought of being beholden to someone, especially someone you don't like? That's pride, too. Like it or not, Mr. Crowley, I'm beholden to you. My just giving you a box of candies doesn't shift that balance even a little. You did something good for me, and one day, I'll be able to figure out just how to thank you properly." She smiles at Crowley again.

Dammit, girl! You are infuriating with your cheerfulness and your refusal to accept my insults. I am never kind. I always do what I think might sting you most. I can't believe the women in this town...either already corrupted or so full of grace that they recover too quickly. It's poppycock, I tell you. You keep me from doing my job, poppet. If you feel beholden too me, cry a bit so I may drink your tears. [He looks at her biscuitless hand and hold the plate up] Would you care for another, while you finish your tea?

Kiki takes another biscuit. "Thank you. You mean," she says between bites, "you really do want me to cry? Interesting," she ponders a moment, chewing thoughtfully. "That's the thing, though. No matter what you do - and this is you meaning anybody - people will always put their own spin on your actions. They'll interpret it according to their own nature. Someone who is suspicious of everybody else's motives all the time will think that way no matter who they are dealing with - even if they're talking to you or Mr. Aziraphale, for example.

"Well, if that will make you happy, then I'll give it a go. But you'll need to really let loose, ok? Tell me... that I'm a horrible witch and my mother will be severely disappointed in me when she sees me this weekend. But you have to make it really convincing, so I'll believe it. Maybe lob the box of butterscotch at my head."

Humph...it's not my happiness I seek, pet, it's your torment. All right then...

[He clears his throat and stands. Shrugging his shoulders and pulling on his lapels, straightens his suit coat. He steps purposefully to in front of her chair and looms over her]

You are a horrible witch, your mother will be severely disappointed in you when she comes this weekend, you ride a broom like an ameteur, you are neglectful of others, your shoes are hideous, and you are a messy eater and I think I shan't invite you back to tea. Your bow is far too large for your head, your voice grates against the ear, and...um...you're short.

[He waits]

Kiki's face droops a bit, then a bit further; her lower lip starts to tremble.

You know it's fake, she thinks, yes, that's the point. You need to stop remembering that it's fake and just go ahead and cry. After all, you SAID you would!

Then the last part hits her ears: "You're short." Kiki can't hold it in anymore. She cracks up laughing.

"I'm sorry," she gasps, "I'm sorry, I really am, really really." She pulls herself back under control as best she can. "The first part was good. The last? Um... not so much. Hey, do you think maybe this is why you're here? You said the girls in this town were just impossible - corrupted already or too full of grace. Maybe that's it. That's your challenge. The outside world was too easy, and you got complacent, perhaps?"

Complacent? [He hisses] You're a right brat, you know that?

What does a stupid little girl know about six thousand years of cultivated cruelty? If I weren't in such a good mood, I'd tell you you how Harry doesn't like you. He only went with you to Homecoming on a dare...to take the ugliest, most annoying girl he could find. Aziraphale doesn't like you, he feels sorry for you. He figures you must not have any friends at all...only people who tolerate you being around. And I'm certain your mother is so very disappointed in you, Kiki, that she won't even come this weekend.

Now that struck a nerve or two. Kiki bites her lip. Sure, she agreed to this, but that doesn't mean she'll just throw in the towel. The point of this all is, of course, to have Crowley enjoy it. And...Harry took her to the dance on a dare? What if that's true? I'm sure it isn't, but... I can't KNOW, can I? But Crowley sure could.

"If Aziraphale only just tolerates me, then what does that say about you!" she yells back, jumping up. She's not much taller standing up than she is in the armchair. She clenches her hands into fists. "I might be a brat, and a meddlesome pest, but at least I do a little bit of work around this place! You don't do anything! You just take up space! And eat Mr. Aziraphale's food - and don't tell me that it's yours and be snarky because YOU decided to offer it to me! And you are mean to everybody!"

[ooc: HA! It occurs to me that right about now would be an absolutely hilarious time for Aziraphale or Harry to wander in.]

[He grins, cruel and cold] Quite right, pet, I am mean to everyone.

Yesss, if you won't give me your tears, give me your anger.

[He reaches out and touches underneath her chin with the tip of his finger. It tingles, but does not hurt. His smile grows broader]

So very predictable, you humans. Little sins, everyday...and so easy to coax out.

((if you choose, he has sucked the anger out of her, and she's fine...maybe a little emo))

Kiki opens her mouth to shout some more, and then realizes there's not really anything to yell about any longer. She blinks a few times, her lashes damp with a few tears that had threatened but never fell. She stands frozen in place, feeling the strange tingle from his touch skittering over her skin like a shiver. She holds still for a little longer, and then slowly sits down.

"That's it?" she asks. "That's all you really wanted? I thought you wanted a big all-out fight." She takes a deep breath and sniffles a little. "I don't know exactly what you are - you or Mr. Aziraphale, but evidently, neither of you are strictly human. And you like us predictable, don't you? It makes your job easier. I mean, you got really mad when I didn't react the way you predicted."

She sniffs again. "Can I have a tissue?" she asks. "Or, you know, you could always refuse and make me upset again. Or just act like I asked for a huge and taxing favor," Kiki laughs a little shakily.

[He pulls a white cotton handkerchief from his inside breast pocket and hands it to her]

You're a bright little girl, Kiki, and you have pleased me to no end. I look forward to tormenting you more n the future...but for today let's share a nice predictable tea. Shall we?

"Thanks," Kiki smiles, dabbing at her eyes. Then she throws delicacy to the winds and blows her nose. "I will wash this and then give it back to you," she assures him, "and a nicepredicatable tea sounds wonderful. As long, of course," she adds with a grin, "that you don't mind more company from the Meddlesome Pest."

I'm finding that you do grow on one...much like a mold. However, some molds are quite pretty, and you don't smell foul, and only ooze a small bit [looks at his hankerchief] so I think we'll get along famously, pet.

"Mold actually makes some cheeses better, too," Kiki replies without missing a beat.

She pours herself a little more tea. "Would you like another cup?" she offers.

That would be lovely, pest...I mean pet. You're quite right, you know. Cheese is one of the wonderful things about the world. Tell me, what is your favorite cheese?

Kiki fills Crowley's teacup and then adds a little to her own. "I'm pretty fond of muenster," Kiki replies. "Most cheddars. I've got pretty common tastes that way. What's yours?"

I enjoy a good Stilton, but generally I like a fresh farmer's cheese. Not too ripe. Soft...[his green forked tongue slips out and licks his lips]...and mild.

Of course, sharp cheeses have their place too. Sometimes one likes a bite.

"Sounds good. I've never tried Stilton, though. I like the sharp chedders, but I'm not very fond of the spicy ones, like the jalapeno cheeses."

Kiki sips her tea. "Did I go terribly wrong with the butterscotch candy? I wasn't sure what you liked."

No dear one, it was a graceful gesture, and if I weren't such a bastard, I might say thank you. [he sips his tea]

But you understand that I won't, yes?

"Oh, no problem at all. I understand. I'll ask it this way: you're not deathly allergic to butterscotch, right? Or even mildly allergic?

Not as far as I know, dearest. I've never had a problem before. I remember when this particular flavor was invented. Someone I know may have had a hand in it...they are delicious and bring many people happiness.

[omg this is the cutest conversation ever! You two rock!]

[ooc: tee-hee! Thanks :)]

[it is not. it's excruciating. she's likely to give me a diabetic coma with the sweetness. ow, ow, my pancreas...]

[*pats Crowley on the head and thinks he's so cute*]

[ooc: Kiki seems to be really good at doing that to people.]

"I'm satisfied, then," Kiki grins. "A ringing endorsement."

Kiki sips a bit more. "I'm curious, if you don't mind me being a little bit more of a pest - how long have you known Mr. Aziraphale? I see you two are very good friends."

[ooc: sorry, had to run out for a bit and forgot to mention that in my last post!]

From the Beginning, pet. [He sips his tea, his lips twitching...not exactly a smile] That would be a very. long. time.

Kiki's not precisely sure how long ago the "Beginning" was, but she can tell Crowley means it when he says "very. long. time." and she nods, impressed. She sips down the last of her tea and sets down the cup.

"Well, Mr. Crowley, I said I wouldn't take up too much of your time," Kiki says, "and I don't want to overstay my welcome. It has been a very nice tea with you, sir."

Ah, pet...the moment has long passed where you had overstayed your welcome. Nonetheless, to have tea, one must have company, and you've fulfiled that roll...adequately. I'll see you soon, Kiki.

[He sips his tea, the says casually]

I prefer peppermints. Just in case you were curious.

"I figured I had - overstayed the welcome, that is. You're hardly the welcoming sort," grins Kiki, rising. "Peppermint, eh? I'll keep that in mind."

Picking up her broom, Kiki turns back and says, "If you need to make someone cry or angry again sometime, you can always give me a ring. Can't make any promises, but I'll do my best. Have a good day, Mr. Crowley, however you define that."

Aziraphale's Rare Books, Wednesday Afternoon

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