The Movie Theater

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

Crow gets out of his butter machine around three and makes a crude poster to put outside the movie theater.

"Hmmm, gotta do something about that name. Cinema Cohen is not staying that's for sure!" he says to himself as he puts the poster outside the front doors.

The poster reads: Attention employees and prospective employees of this theater! We, the new owners, would like to get to know you a bit better before we begin our torture working relationship. Mr. Crow, Mr. Servo and...Joel ask that you fill out this form with honest answers. We're a family. A family where you do everything we say for low money. And we could always use more slaves employees so if you're interested go ahead and fill it out.

Name:

Any Distinguishing Characteristics That We Can Make Fun Of Be Sensitive Towards:

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us):

Favorite Color Of Underwear:

Are You Canadian:

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of:

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be:

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose? (for the ladies only, or if you are male ask your girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother and have her call us):

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:

1.




B.



Satisfied that he did enough work for this theater he crawled back into his butter machine and looked at pictures of Kim Cattrall.

((I'm kind of tempted to see what y'all write. Do some OOC but IC, do it! Crow says so.))

Comments

OOC

[geoff-chaucer.livejournal.com]

[ooc: I love you guys!]

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

*floats down from the projectionist booth*

Hey Crow. We got a new name for this joint yet? Cinema Cohen is so auteur, but it just isn't right for the type of schlock we're gonna be churning through here like meat through a sausage grinder, right?

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

*Crow peaks his head out of the butter machine*

You're right. We need a name that screams "Hello world, give us your money. All the cool kids are doing it!" But you think of a name. I think I've done enough work around here while you've been organizing underwear.

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

Wait, I gotta think up a name? Geeze, put the pressure on me, why don't you. MY knees would be buckling from the pressure, if I had any.

Name, name, name... *puts a hand to his chin, pondering*

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

*pulls out a marker, and makes a quick sketch (http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a184/therabidone/moviesign.jpg), and hands it to Crow*

How about that, huh? Should I send it off to be made into a big sign out front? *laugh*

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

By God Tom, you are an artistic genius! No way anyone will be able to resist the glow of that! I knew you were good for something.

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

Other than my natural charm, beauty, and massive intellect, you mean.

Look, I'm gonna go get this made. Really big. Make sure Joel gets his butt in here and starts cleaning up, okay?

*grabs the sketch and floats out the door*

[lisacuddy.livejournal.com]

Lisa walks through town. She needs a new job now that she has quit the clinic. A movie theatre couldn't be that bad, right?

Name: Lisa Cuddy

Any Distinguishing Characteristics: I can dangle ringed fruit from my... oh nevermind. I'm well-proportioned.

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): General customer service, projection, box office, slave4u. Anything but cleaning crew.

Favorite Color Of Underwear: Hot pink thong-tha-thong thong thongs

Are You Canadian: Ew.

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: Is that Joe Don Baker? I try not to think of him on a regular basis. Miiiitchell!

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: Natasha Lyonne. She's my Wild Card in my Death Pool. Drugs are good, Natasha. Drugs are good.

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose? (for the ladies only, or if you are male ask your girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother and have her call us): I guess Joel - least chance of electrocution.

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:
A. I've seen bigger tits on the members of the MFCD Does the movie Squirm really need a caption? I mean, flesh eating worms speak for themselves.

B. It's a shame that Julie Andrews started doing mescaline.

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

*reads over the application*

She said she'd kiss Joel. That's one strike against. But the hot pink underwear puts her in a resounding position of "ready to be hired", I think.

How 'bout you, Crow? Got any objections to our well-proportioned, hot pink wearin' Joel kisser?

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

Well, I think we might forgive the Joel kisser part. I think she would have said different if I put "jumpsuit wearing" in front of his name.

She did recognize Joe Don Baker and Squirm. And hates Canadians. I'd say she's hired.

Once she sees me and you she'll change her no robot kissing tune.

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

I'll give her a call and let her know that she's hired.

And most definitely with you there on the robot kissing tune, buddy. *laugh*

[ooc: by the way... we are so running "I Accuse My Parents" over the weekend. Seriously.]

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

((I was thinking the same thing!))

[joel_sol]

"Hire her."

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

"Now Joel we know you are a desperate, desperate man but you can't go scaring our female employees. So try to hold off on any weird mating rituals you have until she's worked here for at least a week."

[joel_sol]

"Riiiiiight. I don't even want to know what you'll say if anyone actually gives you as an answer."

[cameronmitchell.livejournal.com]

((Seeing how Cameron is stuck in the clinic for the rest of the day, please assume he fills it in tomorrow? Otherwise I'm going to forget.))

Name: Cameron Mitchell

Any Distinguishing Characteristics That We Can Of Be Sensitive Towards: No

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): Ticket sales (used to have the 12-18:00 shift on Saturday and Sunday)

Favorite Color Of Underwear: F-16s

Are You Canadian: No

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: Constipation

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: I wouldn't

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose? (for the ladies only, or if you are male ask your girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother and have her call us): I'm definitely not a girl. Stop perving over my girlfriend, dude.

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:

1. Cop: "You watch it kid, one day my biceps will be as broad as Lee Adama's."

B. That's just too damn scary to cap.

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

*Crow reads over the application*

F-16s? Tom, this guy has got best buddy material all over him. I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about.

And the 'definitely not a girl' answer proves he's definitely has a hot girlfriend.

I don't know who this Lee Adama is but it seems like he's got the nickname "Big McLargehuge" all over him.

*Crow crosses out the name Cameron and puts the name "Crunch Buttsteak
"*

[neptune-wallace.livejournal.com]

Name: Wallace Fennel

Any Distinguishing Characteristics That We Can Be Sensitive Towards: I'm black.

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): I used to do 12-6 Saturday and Sunday - sometimes clean-up and sometimes concessions. I can do any of it, though.

Favorite Color Of Underwear: On a girl? Black. Oh, or red.

Are You Canadian: No.

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: That can't be a man - men don't cry like little girls.

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: Definitely Gary Coleman - Man, that would be hilarious!

Picture 1: "Now you listen here, fella. Nobody touches my sleazy whore-like daughter but me."

Picture 2: "'Special' brownies, anyone?"

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

*Crow reads over application*

Tom, check out this guy's application. He's brilliant! We might have to slap a jumpsuit on him and kick Joel out. Ok, we'll make Joel clean the toilets.

[joel_sol]

"You know, there is a limit to what I'm willing to do. We can hire someone special for movie toilet duty."

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

[OOC: Hey, what do you have against Canadians? *is a Canuck*]

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

((Crow hates Canadians and their movies.))

[joel_sol]

((There's even a song. Maybe a couple.))

[crowt-robot.livejournal.com]

((The Canada song from Final Sacrifice is great. And that Rowsdower stuff killed me.))

[joel_sol]

((Boppity boppity bowsdower.))

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Name: Susan Ivanova

Any Distinguishing Characteristics That We Can Make Fun Of Be Sensitive Towards: Bisexual female Jew. Take your pick.

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): Admissions, concession, or projectionist

Favorite Color Of Underwear: Red. Want to check?

Are You Canadian: Better. I'm Russian.

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: That man fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: Claudia Christian. Oooh, or Bruce Boxleitner, so I can stop him from making any more of those horrible period pieces.

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose? (for the ladies only, or if you are male ask your girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother and have her call us): Since Tom doesn't have lips and a real guy would make a grab at me . . . Crow.

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:
1. "Look, I told you, you sell weed in these parts, you sell it to me *first*. I don't care if you're trying to get in her oversized granny bloomers."
B. "And voila! Through the magic of song, my skirt has disappeared!"

[joel_sol]

Joel looks thorugh the applications, taking a little offense to this one. "Heeeeey. This one's got a high opinion of herself."

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

Crow has lips? Since when...

*gets mental image of Mr. B without any pants*

OH GOD, MY EYES! THEY BURN! ATTICA! ATTICA!

*screams on his way to the nearest sink, where he proceeds to dowse his head thoroughly*

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Name: Callisto.

Any Distinguishing Characteristics: I can kill you where you stand. Tall, blonde, black leather.

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): Projectionist. I tend to make people nervous face to face.

Favorite Color Of Underwear: Black.

Are You Canadian: No.

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: Think I killed someone who looked just like him once. Distaste.

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: Katie Holmes, I'd do a better job than the guys currently in control.

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose?: Which one would be easiest to repair afterward? Crow.

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:

A. Joanie watched with growing dismay as Dad started to put the smooth moves on Jimmy.

B. Remember kids, with three serves of crack a day, you can be just like me!

[can_be_more]

((*loves you*))

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

Tall, blonde, and black leather? Hired. So very, very hired.

*reads on just to double check*

Another vote for Crow? Geeze. This is ridiculous. *sigh*

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

[fates_jaye]

Name: Jaye Tyler

Any Distinguishing Characteristics That We Can Make Fun Of Be Sensitive Towards: None than I can think of. I'm sure you'll find something.

Job Desired (Or Already Have If You Already Work For Us): I work 6-12 Fridays and 12-6 Sundays- I think- and I'd love to either get off cleanup duty or be allowed to beat people with my broom.

Favorite Color Of Underwear: We do have sexual harassment laws here, you know.

Are You Canadian: Almost, but not quite. Nigara Falls. The actress playing me, however...

When You See This Man What Do You Think Of: Oh, that's just unfortunate.

If You Could Control The Mind Of One B-List Celebrity Who Would It Be: Only one? Lou Diamond Phillips. I don't know why.

If We Were Trapped In This Theater And You Had To Kiss Either Tom, Crow or Joel Who Would You Choose? (for the ladies only, or if you are male ask your girlfriend/sister/aunt/mother and have her call us): Why would I be trapped in a theater? And why would I have to kiss anyone? And how much alcohol is involved?

Give Us A Caption To These Pictures:
1. "How sad is it when she's the manliest one of all of us?"

B. *too busy screaming*

[t-servo.livejournal.com]

*bursts into laughter at reading #1*

She's a keeper.