The Perk: Late Sunday Morning

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[It is a bloody gorgeous day, and even despite his slight feeling of dread, the Tenth, dammit Doctor felt the need to get up and out this morning. So he is sitting in front of the Perk, sipping his customary double macchiato, and writing in his journal.]




TEXT (dated 30.10.05 FST): Conflict.
If anyone would want to know what I feel at the moment, that would be it. Conflict.
I cannot feel angry at him, because that makes me angry at myself. I cannot feel pity at him, because that means I am pitying myself. But I sit here doing both. Much as CJ wants to believe otherwise, he is me.
General sense of self-loathing all around, really. Not good for the soul. But I can’t seem to get past that to acceptance.
Maybe I’m more of a teenager than my students.
Maybe I’m too complacent with this state of being to try to be anything else.
THIS MUST CHANGE.


[Occasionally he looks up and admires the changing leaves.]


((Play is open, as in you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, just play in the Perk.
The Doctor's hoping that...other!him will pass by at some point. Anything of mine will be slowplayed after 3 PM EST. And if you get close enough without him noticing, yes, you could probably read the above journal entry.))

Comments

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

*passes by, and notices himself sitting in front of the Perk. Wanders up, given that he's been on a self-searching mission of a totally non-metaphysical kind*

Hello.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[The Doctor looks up over his glasses, and slowly shuts the book.] Hello.

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

*sits down across from the other him, and smiles*

I've come to apologize. I might have been a bit too harsh yesterday. *drums his fingers against his leg*

And I'm sorry.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[licks his lips, formulating a response...it takes a while] Apology accepted.

[Another moment goes by, and he looks Nine in the eye.] ...Do you want some coffee? Tea?

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

Just had a cup, actually. Really don't feel like sticking around much longer, to be honest. It's been fun, it's been nice... but you were right. I shouldn't really be here, and my big old nose has been in your business long enough, it has.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Did you find what you were hoping to find, then? [His expression isn't angry or bitter, just...sad.]

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

I was pleasantly surprised, actually. I didn't find what I was looking for, but I found something much better.

The promise of a good future. *he smiles, and stands* There anything else you need from me? I've got a feeling it's really time for me to be off.

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

[He shakes his hair out of his face and looks up.] Doctor...
There's always the promise of a better future. Know that.

Oh, and...try to enjoy yourself?

[nine-and-ears.livejournal.com]

Oh, absolutely. Going to pick up Rose and Jack on Raxacoricofallapatorius. Things can only get enjoyable after that, right? *laugh*

Be you later. *waves, and turns to leave*

[ten-and-chips.livejournal.com]

Goodbye, Doctor. Have a good life. [He keeps his expression neutral until Nine is out of sight, and then his composure cracks.]

Dear god, those eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life.

[mannybianco.livejournal.com]

[OOC - Trying hard not to create four_and_scarf]