Therapists' Office Hours, 11/08

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

Brenda is in her office, attempting to write something as she waits for clients.

She is a little restless today, and keeps pacing the small office like a caged panther.

Comments

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia came in looking tired and lonely. "Hi Brenda."

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

Brenda is pleased to have work to focus on.

"Hi, Maia. How are you doing since we talked?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia sat down and shrugged. "Got detention at school. Bought Chiana a present. So all in all pretty crappy. How are you?"

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine," Brenda says, her smile guarded. That is always the answer her clients will get from her.

"Detention, huh? Do you want to talk about what happened?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia squirmed a little in her seat. "I hurt one the only people in my life who has ever approached the area of being a sister to me. I had seen something and tried to tell her and she didn't want to hear it. So I got angry and told her anyway and then later in the class I made a statement that offended another student and I got detention." Maia said staring at her hands. "I think I have lost one of the only people that I care about. I saw her this morning and she would not even speak to me, she just ran away."

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

Brenda nods slowly, taking this in. "I see."

She looks up. "It souhds like you said two things that hurt your friend. Were you angry with her before you started talking?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia thought for a moment and then answered "Yes I was. She hurt my feelings last week in the bookstore and she has just I dunno not been herself and it just, it really hurt me. She was there for me and then I dunno I felt like she abandonded me." Maia bite her lip still looking at her hands. "I didn't like the feeling that I was losing her or that she didn't care about me."

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what's going on with your friend, but I am sorry to hear that you feel abandoned. The thing to remember is that you can't control other people. You can only control your own reactions.

Sometimes, when people start feeling hurt and trying to hurt each other, there's this whole spiral that develops. Someone in it needs to step outside and stop it."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia looked up now. "Can you stop it for me?" Maia looked helpless "I tried to stop it myself I tried to step away but I- when I saw what I did Brenda I couldn't help it I had to warn her. Had to tell her but she didn't listen."

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

Brenda shakes her head. "I can't live your life for you, Maia. I can only give you tools."

"You tried to warn her. Maybe that's all you can do. We talked about your distancing techniques last week, remember?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"Yes." Maia said in a small voice "I remember." Maia frowned "I am usually good at it but when its someone I care about, I can't make them see..I-I just I get desperate to make them see."



((MUN had orientation and then practice is avaliable now and then tomorrow afternoon))

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

"I understand that.

What do you think you could do to let people know you're worried about them, without getting angry yourself, or making them angry?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia opened her mouth to speak several times and then stopped. She looked thoughtful and then finally looked back up at Brenda. "I-I don't know because I think even when I try to be nice about it, people are afraid of me. People don't like what they are afraid of."

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

"That can be true."

Brenda runs a hand through her hair. "Maia, I've never dealt with a problem like yours before. I'm not sure how to give you advice. I'm just being candid, here.

I could tell you to jyust not warn people, but that's denying a part of yourself. So."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia frowned at her hands. "So I will just have to distance myself even further." Maia said it was not a question more of a resigned statement of defeat.


((mun has to go to bed. we can finish up tomorrow if you'd like or you can wrap.. or maia can come in the other office hours tomorrow. I'll be back about 2 CST tomorrow afternoon))

[b-chenowith.livejournal.com]

"I'm not saying that," Brenda says. "But it is something we'll need to talk about in your next session next week."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia sighed and nodded standing up. "Thank you Brenda. Its nice, not being attacked for things I say and just having someone who just, who is there you know and not going to. I know its your job and stuff but thank you for not attacking me and stuff." Maia smiled sadly as she walked towards the door.