Friday Afternoon at the Park

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana sat down on the bench by the pond. She'd been avoiding the beach and all the memories there, but she just had to get away and be near water. This would do.

She tucked her feet under her, enjoying the warmth of the sun, even though the day was pretty cool.

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[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia walked up and sat down. "Hey stranger" Maia pulled out a thermos with some hot cocoa "Want some?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana turned in surprise, then smiled at her friend. "Hot chocolate? That would be lovely, thanks."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia pulled off the extra cup and poured Lana some. "So, where have you been keeping yourself?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Just... away. I'm just embarrassed about the whole situation and I figured the best thing to do was just lay low, be quiet, give myself time to sort through things, you know?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia leaned back and nodded taking a sip of her cocoa. "You dropped his class huh?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"*Lex* dropped the class for me. Told me I couldn't get around things that way so he'd already arranged it." Lana madea face.

"I don't suppose I'd have been able to keep taking it anyway. I don't know how I would have been able to face Justin."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia nodded sadly. "Yeah, I saw him the other day." Maia sighed "He's taking it bad but you know I got angry at him and hollered at him."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana looks shocked. "You yelled at him? Why?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia frowned "He was feeling to sorry for himself, he was sinking down and I ju- just couldn't let him do that you know."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana looks terribly guilty. "Well, I'm glad you were there for him," she says finally.

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia shrugged "He's my friend, just like you. I am here for both of you. How are you holding up by the way?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana looks even more embarrassed and guilty. "I'm... fine," she says after a moment. "Which is part of the problem."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia frowned in confusion "Darling why in the world is that a problem if your ok?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"I *should* be all upset. I should be *devastated*, right?" Lana bursts out.

She hugs her arms to herself very tightly. "And I'm not. I feel stupid for getting myself into a situation that Lex felt he needed to "rescue" me from, and embarrassed that he went about it the way he did, and guilty that Justin was hurt. And, in a way..."

She looks away and bites her lip. "...in a way I feel relieved."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia's expression was soft and understanding. She gave a small smile to Lana then nodded. "Its ok Lana. It's well I can imagine it was really intense for you you know. With the age difference and the fact he is a teacher and well, you not remembering things." Maia cut herself off on that part remembering her promise to Lana not to bring things like that up. "Its ok that you feel relieved, is what I am trying to say."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Do you think so?" Lana asks cautiously. "I mean, I feel terrible, but I don't feel terrible about not being with Justin. Now that I have some distance from it, I just... I guess... I don't know. Maybe I was more interested in him because I was feeling so upset with everything that had happened and he was this gorgeous, kind person who was paying attention to me and who obviously cared a great deal about me. How shallow does that make me?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia laughed now relieved to have some tension gone from the air around her. "It makes you human and a teenager Lana." Maia giggled.

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"So why do I feel like I'm a terrible excuse for a human being?" Lana asked, but she felt much lighter as well, having finally said the things she was thinking out loud.

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia rubbed Lana's back, that same warm soft expression of understanding on her face. "You don't need an excuse Lana and your not a terrible excuse for a human being either. Things happen you know."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana took a deep breath. "Okay. So, now the big question... How do I face Lex and have to tell him he was right?" Lana smiled ruefully as she spoke. "He will never let me forget this. Well... actually, he might. As overbearing as he can be, he *has* always been good to me. And as much as I hate the way he did this... I don't know that I would have been willing to listen to calm rationalization at that point."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia looked thoughtful. "When are you seeing him again?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana shook her head. "I don't know. He told me he'll send the jet for me anytime I want to come home, but... I don't know. I'd kind of like to go home for Thanksgiving, but I don't know that I really want to have to explain to everyone what's happened here the past few weeks - until I can get some sort of composure about it myself." She sighed. "I can just see the disappointed look on Mr. and Mrs. Kent's faces. And the hurt on Clark's."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"So why tell them? Really Lana, it won't hurt them to not know, you kissed someone. Thats it, you didn't sleep with everything that walks or go to work over at Aphroditites Apple" Maia smiled now "Its ok Lana."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana chuckles. "I suppose. And Lex *might* even refrain from saying 'I told you so'."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia grinned "I am glad to see your feeling better. I need to go run over to the emporium and grab some stuff your welcome to come or I'll see you later ok?"

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Thanks, but I think I'll just sit out here for a while. It's peaceful and, since I'm still avoiding the beach, at least it's water. I'll catch you later. And, Maia? Thanks for everything. You're a good friend." Lana hugged her friend and watched her leave, then pulled out a book to read for a while.