fandomtownies | Wednesday Afternoon (The Park)

He'd been sent out into the world with a thermos of tea and a scarf very neatly tied around his neck. The angel hadn't been entirely comfortable with the young doctor being out of view but he'd understood the need and after making certain Wilson was properly equiped, had shooed him on out the door.

By instinct, the young doctor headed towards the pond, eyes searching around at the benches until he spied Phoebe, his angle changing to send him in that direction.

"Hey. I come baring tea." Wilson held up the thermos, smiling warmly as he waited politely to be invited to join her on the bench.

Phoebe looked up and offered a faint smile, patting the bench. "Have a seat, Dr. Wilson. How are you feeling?"

Sitting down beside her, he reached into the pocket of his coat for the extra cup that had been slipped in there.

"Aziraphale is so much better at this than I." He muttered softly as he distributed the tea, holding a cup towards her if she wanted it.

"I'm feeling better, thank you. How has your day been?"

Phoebe looked into her tea cup. "Cole and I...we fought this morning."

Taking a sip of his own tea, he looked over at her, smiling a little sadly.

"He knows?"

Phoebe nodded. "Not that it matters to him except for the fact that Crowley has me and he doesn't. He wanted me to back out of it...but I said I keep my promises." She sighed. "How can the hate of one person kill so much of you?"

For a little bit, Wilson simply sat there and looked out across the pond, his expression thoughtful.

"You know how they say that love and hate are two sides of the same coin?" Turning slightly, he hooked his elbow on the back of the bench, looking at her profile.

"Crowley could very easily hate me. He could very easily like me...I've done a lot of things for him over the past months. I've helped him, I've begged on his behalf, I've spoken up for him with Aziraphale and others but then...well...there's me and Aziraphale of course. But the truth of the matter is, Crowley is completely apathetic towards me. He doesn't like or hate me...he doesn't waste the time on me."

Pausing to take a sip of his tea, Wilson continued softly. "It kills so much of you, Phoebe because you know Bel loves you. The passion of feeling and emotion is still there and it's still very real...even if it's manifesting as anger right now. Bel loves you and despite this situation with Crowley ... I have to imagine that you do love Bel."

"Bel hates me, Wilson," Phoebe said softly, looking out over the pond. "And no matter how I feel about him...we cannot be together as we once were. he broke a promise, a big one and he..." Phoebe blinked back tears. "We are so wrong for each other, I see that now."

She sighed and took a sip of the tea. "He wants me to move out of the dorms and full-time into the hotel with Crowley. he said...we both said...some hurtful things."

She was silent for a long time. "And then there's Anthony...I just cannot figure him out sometimes. Evil and snarky? That I can deal with. but he...he's acting like he actually cares about me. He...he apologized last night and told me that I bring something out in him he didn't know existed."

She played with her necklace.

Very calmly refilling her tea, Wilson looked at the angel's tear hanging around her neck. Topping off his own mug Wilson set the thermos aside and hooked an arm around his bent knee.

"House would have hit me, with his cane...if he'd had it when I told him I signed a contract with Crowley. The knowledge...and what happened after I told him were the first steps towards he an I seperating. I know that might not be what you want to hear but ... you and Bel will have to find your own way through this and it might be to come back together stronger than before or ... maybe things will change. Life, isn't about neat tiding endings."

Taking a sip of the tea, the young doctor caught his lower lip between his teeth and began to try to put into words what seemed inexplicable.

"All that aside. That necklace, did Crowley tell you what it represents? Did he tell you what it is? It's HIS Grace. All the Grace Crowley has amassed over years of living here among mortals. He gave it to Aziraphale a month or so ago, it was...taken from him when he was in Hell and put into that jewel."

"Cole and I broke up before all of this, Wilson, but I would probably still sign the contract again if I had it to do over. I was trying to protect him."

She sighed. "As for the necklace? Today was the first time I've seen it or anything like that. Anthony's behavior started awhile ago." She took a sip of her tea.

"Ever since I came to stay at the hotel after the fight with Cole, he's been nothing but kind and loving and then last night...that was a big shock and surprise." She shook her head. "Then, then he did something he didn't have to do, Wilson. See, I woke up in his bed on Sunday...I was uhmm..." She blushed. "He told me nothing happened that night, no matter how drunk I was. He could ahve let me tear myself apart over that and never told me, but he didn't. he told me the truth."

Wilson didn't want to admit to listening to the radio so he set the situation with Bel aside for the moment and concentrated on Crowley.

"Crowley is a complicated individual, Phoebe. He rarely does anything in a predictable manner because at the end of the day he's rather following his own agenda. He'll say that he's Hell's Man but he's no more Hell's Man than Aziraphale is Heaven's Man despite their apperances."

Taking a breath and a sip of tea, Wilson looked out across the park.

"You, me...all this...we're billed to the unwitting minions of Heaven and Hell as little more than a battleground but Aziraphale and Crowley don't see us that way. They like humanity ... and so they're rather ... caught in a delicate balancing act, between trying to do their jobs and keep their respective bosses content and not entirely being a part of the very world they seek to protect."

"You have to imagine that's a pretty lonely place to be if you think about it. They don't entirely belong either place."

There was a softness in his voice a concern that reached not only to the angel but to the prickly fallen one as well.

"It's easy to embrace Aziraphale, harder to embrace Crowley...but not impossible. In my own way I do adore Crowley, despite his apathy but it's important to never loose sight of the fact that both of them are going to do their job and you have to appreciate that dedication in them...even as you have to be aware of the hurt it can deliver to you."

"Both of them are playing very, very deep games that span a length of time which is almost incomprehensible for you and I...or at least for me and nothing is every what it seems on the surface, Phoebe. I'm not telling you that Crowley is playing with you but I'm not going to say he's genuine either. He's Crowley and it's your choice how to interpret his actions and how to respond to them."

Frowning a little... afraid that he was just making things worse, he sucked his lower lip in between his teeth and then added.

"For example. Despite the fact that Crowley made an absolute fool out of me at dinner last night. Used the oppertunity to get in digs at Aziraphale, took what was supposed to be a friendly little meal and turned it into an awkward, tense drama and basically smacked the smiling face of everyone at the table...well..except maybe Kiki...if the same set of circumstances presented themselves today to invite him to dinner again...I'd do it again. Because it's my choice to keep reaching out to him. I know he'll probably hurt, belittle, dismiss and generally make as much of a fool out of me as he can ... and he gets bonus points in Hell for as much pain as he can inflict as possible, extra points if he can get me to feel Wrath or Envy ... but all I can do is make my choices and believe in them in my heart."

"Why does everyone keep saying how hard it is to reach out and care about Anthony?" Phoebe asked Wilson in honest confusion. "True, I met Aziraphale first and he made me feel like I was family, but Crowley didn't make any less of an impact on me. In fact, the only problem I have ever had with him is that he seems to enjoy messing with Cole for some reason." She took another sip of her tea and bit her lip.

"Wilson, I'm not naive, I know what Crowley...what Anthony is. I know that there's a very good chance that he pretends to be so taken with me because he'll get bonus points in hell for corrupting a witch, not to mention a Charmed One. I know he's supposedly this horrible evil, just as Aziraphale is as good as he is. It's a matter of balance in the way the world works. Crowley corrupts and Aziraphale thwarts...only on a grander scale than Cole and I were doing." She looked into his eyes.

"The only difference with us? Some day, Cole is going to be forced to kill me, whether he wants to or not. He has a job to do, and he has no choice. When that day comes, we'll have to fight each other to the death, and I know he'll kill me. Am I ready to die? No. Do I think he could kill me right now? Physically, yes he could. Mentally and emotionally? Until what I said and did to him Monday and this morning, I would have said no. Now, I've had to re-think that answer. I think if it came down to a fight right now, we would work to destroy each other and he will kill me."

"Everything happens for a reason in this life, Wilson. I never used to believe that until I came here. Of the small group of people here that are important to me...half of them are considered evil and with no redeeming qualities at all. But people are wrong about them."

She sighed, hoping she was making sense.

"I signed the contract with Crowley by my choice...and it was my choice that I was asleep on his bed when he came home Monday night and needed my help. I know he thinks of me as nothing but a toy or a conquest, even if he does think I will be his downfall, but I also won't give up on him, either. Grams taught me that everyone in this world deserves compassion and love, though she may not have meant demons. However, that is something I believe strongly in." She took another drink.

"Wilson, Crowley saved my life Saturday night after Cole was cruel and broke every part of me there was to break. I was going to jump from the balcony in the penthouse. I was up on the banister and everything. He got me down. Even if I hadn't signed the contract...even if I didn't care about him, I would go through with the wedding just for that reason alone."

Leaning forward as he listened to her, Wilson tried to pick apart what she was saying about Cole with what she was saying about Crowley as they seemed to be two very different things, at least to him.

"In the end, Aziraphale and Crowley are expected to take up arms against each other. Kill each other." He pointed out softly.

"You speak of Crowley's downfall but Phoebe he is already Fallen. Aziraphale likens Crowley to a demon though I tend to always think of him in my own mind as a Fallen angel rather than a demon. It's a subtle and probably a silly little distinction but..." Wilson shrugged.

"Phoebe the truth is nothing you, I or even Aziraphale does will change the fact that the only true redemption Crowley could ever find will come from HIS hand and HIS hand only."

Exhaling softly, Wilson frowned. "Last night ... Crowley used you, like a pawn on a chess board, to deliver a body blow to Aziraphale. He knew that revealing the terms of the contract in front of Aziraphale would be a slap in the face to the angel, a deliberately delivered cruelty. Cruelty, Phoebe, not just a 'job' but a personal cruelness that gutted Aziraphale, badly. I don't know that you realize just how badly and Crowley did it deliberately and methodically, using personal information gained from long association to make sure Aziraphale felt the pain through his entire being."

Then, before she could get too upset with him, he reached and tapped the jewel.

"However, in giving you that ... I think he genuinely means to protect you in his own way. I don't know if you understand the importance of that jewel. That jewel, Phoebe, is Aziraphale. It is ... as close to giving you the protection of the angel at all times as Crowley could come. And this is what I mean when I saw Crowley is playing a deep, deep game."

Phoebe listened to Wilson.

"I know...he told me that he was being a bastard and was being petty and cruel to hurt Aziraphale because he's jealous...and he's hurt by your happiness. I don't know why he told me, except that I think he knew I would understand...as I had done the same thing to Cole on Monday night. He's sorry that he used me and he's honestly feeling bad that he hurt Aziraphale like that. He also knew I was angry at him, not for just using me, but for using me to hurt someone. I also don't know why else he hurt Aziraphale like that."

She sighed. "I think that even the Fallen can have further to fall, Wilson. Anthony Crowley was honestly concerned about me on Saturday night. He told me that if this was my fall, then he could help me find my redemption. Oh, he made no promises about giving me redemption, I wasn't drunk enough to believe that. He just told me that I still have Grace and gentleness inside me, even when I feel so empty."

She bit her lip again. "What you've said about the necklace, it doesn't surprise me that he's trying to protect me in a way, Wilson."

"Phoebe, do you know the parable of the scorpion and the frog?"

A strange little question perhaps but Wilson had learned never to assume what people had and had not heard over the years.

"Yes, I have. I know what you're thinking."

"Okay but Crowley would tell it to you himself. Don't turn your back on his nature and on who he needs to be because you do him no favors if you try, Phoebe. In fact, treating Crowley as if he is ... something other than who he is could be a danger to him. Eventually, dark eyes are going to turn and wonder why it is that Crowley is drawing the loyalty of Graceful people...and that is scrutney that can only be harmful to him."

To himself, Wilson was frowning at the idea of Crowley offering to help Phoebe find redemption because ... that was a path closed and lost to the fallen one. However it was a pretty promise, words that the confused and hurt witch needed to hear and Crowley was good at giving out words that people wanted to hear. However, even without having divine power, Wilson could tell Phoebe wasn't in any mood to hear concerns like that and Wilson's eyes were drawn to the necklace.

This is more of a mess than it seems on the surface.

Reaching up he grabbed at the back of his neck and rubbed there anxiously.

"I know it's hard, Phoebe. Crowley does some very graceful things but he can also fool his very own ilk. When he came to Kiki and I's aid against the Balrog...he showed up in Aziraphale's form. Looked exactly like the angel as a fool against the Balrog."

"I know what he is and I don't want to put him in any danger." Phoebe was turning things over in her mind. "He can...shapeshift?"

Wilson nodded and then he gave a wry little chuckle.

"Yes, he can. Came as a complete surprise to me, let me tell you. I about had a stroke when I looked up and saw Aziraphale standing there...though Aziraphale did look good in the sunglasses."

There was something akin to horror and confusion filling Phoebe's face.

"He couldn't...oh god... he wouldn't..." Phoebe bent over, feeling sick. "But he's only done it to help...right?"

Phoebe's face was ashen and she hated where her mind was taking her with this. He wouldn't do that...he wouldn't do that.

Setting side the tea cup, Wilson reached for Phoebe's shoulder, laying a supportive hand on her arm.

"Phoebe?" He asked worriedly, before he frowned gently. "He did what benefited him, Phoebe. It worked to his advantage to get the drop on the Balrog."

"But it was to help Kiki, right?" There was obviously something about the idea of Crowley shapeshifting that was upsetting to her.

Okay, he was definitely frowning with concern now and trying to catch her eyes when he asked, "Phoebe, what's wrong?"

Phoebe's face was definitely ashen. She stumbled to her feet. Stooping, she kissed his cheek.

"James, I gotta go," she whispered, trying to keep the shaking out of her voice but not succeeding. "Thank you...please call me later...or invite me to the shop or..."

She was babbling. "I'm sorry."

She took off to the Arms, while her mind was screaming at her. He wouldn't have...Bright Lady, he wouldn't have.

[[OOC: Oh, he so would have and you know it!]]

Orlin walks by in his barely there trench coat swishing about his upper thighs, he see's a sad looking woman and a concerned man sitting on a bench. He considers going over to offer assisstance, but decides to continue looking for clothing.

Wednesday Afternoon (The Park)

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