fandomtownies | Pirate Radio: Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FST]

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Pirate Radio: Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FST]

"This be Barbossa," a familiar voice growled into the microphone, "'n it be time fer another excitin' day o' Wine, Wenches 'n Song. I be givin' ye advice 'n playin' yer requests as long as it be not Celine Dion because even a pirate be havin' standards."

Barbossa tossed an apple between his hands. "The phone lines be open. Bother me."

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Good music only, please.

Jaye calls in, sighing over the phone. "I can't get that damn Shakira song out of my head. Please play it so I can see halfway sane?"

"Me Hips Don't Be Lyin'?" Barbossa asked.

"That would be it," she says, and pauses. "You know, I bet you sing it pretty."

"As it happens, I be havin' a version ye might enjoy, aye."

Barbossa pushed play.

His voice came out over the pounding music track, which he had added banthabell to, as traditional.

Wenches be up in here tonight
No fightin', no fightin'
We be havin'the refugees up in here

There was some stomping in the background indicative of pirate, um, booty shaking.

I be never knowin' that she could dance like this
She be makin' a man want t' speak Spanish...

Which, sadly, Barbossa did not.

I be havin' a llama...in a case-oh, yeah, yeah
Shakira, Shakira...

It continued for three and a half minutes. It was...memorable.

Jaye is totally not dancing around on her end of the phone. Or giggling.

"I like your version better," she decides.

"Thank ye very much," Barbossa said, grinning. "Though I still be not able t' make me hips do what hers be able to. I be thinkin' I be needin' more parctice."

"I'm sure someone can give lessons," Jaye says.

"Ye think?" Barbossa paused. "Who d'ye think I should be askin'?"

"Not sure," she says. "Who has hips that don't be lying?"

"Hmmm," Barbossa said. "I be sure that no part o' Dean Tick be lyin', and he be lookin' t' be rather light on his feet. Matey-wit'-the-Hat be the same. Mayhaps I should be thinkin' o' wenches instead, though?"

"Maybe one of them can give you lessons first, so you can impress the wenches," Jaye suggests.

"That be an idea," Barbossa said. "I be callin' them later today then. Thank ye, wench!"

"No, thank you," Jaye says, and goes about her day, that much happier.

Because it's always enlightening, if not exactly applicable to the question asked.

Willow dialed in.

"This be Barbossa. Ye be on the air. What can I be doin' fer ye?"

"Hi, Barbossa!" Willow said, rather chipperly. "I just wanted to thank you for the advice last week. The abandoned shack, though abandoned and shacky, was a very good location for the thing."

"I be glad t' hear it, Cakey Goodness," Barbossa replied. "Be he properly appreciative?"

"Oh yes," Willow said, deciding that Barbossa was simply asking about the cake. "He said it was the yummiest he'd ever eaten!"

Barbossa coughed. "That be good t'hear, wench. If he be ever less than appreciative, ye be sure t' tell him t' straighten up. Thar be plenty o' people around here who be interested in a wench wit' such a...way wit' cookin'."

"Oh, I didn't cook it," Willow admitted. "But I did put all kinds of pretty frosting on as a way to help make it special."

"And it be that kind o' attention t' detail that he be really appreciatin'," Barbossa replied, laughing. "Ye other wenches, be sure t' be takin' notes."

"The balloons were his favorite," Willow said. Then, because she trusted Barbossa, she added, "Not that they were, you know, actually balloons but who needs to go into those details, right?"

"It be our secret," Barbossa promised.

"No new questions for this week," Willow said. "But thanks again and I hope you have a very nice day!"

"And the same t' ye, Cakey Goodness!"

Joxer dialed in, because he totally knew how to properly use a phone.

"This be Barbossa and ye be on the air. How can I be helpin' ye?"

"Er," Joxer stuttered. "I was wondering if you had any advice on, er... being with a woman. I mean, I've done the thing that's like practicing before that, it's just I've never..."

"Workin' solo be nothin' like workin' wit' a wench's, er, cakey goodness," Barbossa began. "Personally, I be findin' that doin' it fast 'n gettin' it over wit' be the most effective manner o' doin' things."

"Fast, huh?" Joxer thought that over for a second. "Okay, probably a more important question, is how do you even bring up the subject of actually doing the, you know, the doing stuff with a girl to the girl?"

Barbossa paused. "Normally it be comin' up in the normal-type course o' conversation. She be comin' up t' ye, ye be buyin' her a drink or six, she be settin' her price, ye be headin' upstairs. Fairly straightforwad, really."

"I'm supposed to pay her, got it," Joxer said. "Is that it, or should I be good to go with all of this?"

"I think this be the basics," Barbossa said. "Oh! Be sure t' get checked out at the clinic. Sometimes the cakey goodness be not so good."

Joxer took down some notes. For some reason, he had way to many notes about cakey goodness, paying, and fast.

"Thanks, oh pirate captain. I appreciate it."

"Any time, me heartie."

Whine about broadcasts, drop off bribes. Barbossa's here for it all.

Pippi stops by after her afternoon workshop, she's both picking up and dropping off.

Picking up: Archival footage.

Dropping off: Bottle of rum.

"Hello, Pippi," Barbossa said, eyes going immediately to the bottle of rum. "I be havin' some footage fer ye."

He pulled out tapes. "Here be some on the dancin' lemurs (http://community.livejournal.com/fandom_radio/52571.html), and the weetiny bunnies (http://community.livejournal.com/fandom_radio/52945.html), he said. "And if ye give me a moment, I be ~~trackin' down the link~~ findin' the footage o' Logan-who-used-t'be-a-bunny.

Pippi hops a bit.

"That's great!" she says, "Oh! And this is for you!"

She offers him the bottle.

"Thank ye very much!" Barbossa said, taking the bottle and squirreling it away. "And this be fer ye," he added, smiling. "Enjoy yer project." (http://psycho-jackass.livejournal.com/9889.html) ()

"Thanks!" she beemed. "I know I will. Did I tell you we're presenting them on the 11th?"

"The 11th?" Barbossa scrawled the date onto a nearby scrap of paper. "I'll be tryin' t' attend, then, if ye'd like."

"Yay!"

Because everything needs an OOC section.

I had the Shakira song stuck in my head for my entire stay in Prague. Evil, evil evil song.

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Pirate Radio: Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FST]

Make a song request

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Stop by the studio

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OOC

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