fandomtownies | Fandom Radio: Profits and Prophecy, 3-6 pm FST

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$pirate radio

Fandom Radio: Profits and Prophecy, 3-6 pm FST

The broadcast begins with The Rolling Stones version of "Money (That's What I Want)", as it did last time.

"Welcome, faithful listeners, to our third week of Profits and Prophecy, in our new time slot. Hopefully we won't be moved around as often as that TV show 'Lightning Bug'. Sorry for having missed last week, but I came down with a head cold, and if you've ever seen my head, you'll know how bad that could be."

"Joining me in the studio is Edmund Blackadder, a class act above all class acts. But first up, we'll have a few musical selections, as selected by you, my audience. We begin today with a song called 'We Are the Champions', by Queen. This goes out to all those Argentina and England fans."

The song begins after a short chuckle, and the show has started.

[ooc: ~~Wait for OCD, please!~~ Have at it!]

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"Okay, call in your song requests, until I get sick of them, or I decide you all have horrible taste."

"Okay, now we get into the real meat of the show. As I mentioned before, we have with us today the proprietor of All and Sundries. A businessman with ethics I can relate to, Edmund Blackadder. Now Edmund, I can call you Edmund, right? Edmund, do you have any statements to make before we get deep into the interview?"

Edmund startled a little. He'd been busy trying to decide if Quark's teeth grew that way, or they were the result of poor hygiene.

"Yes. All and Sundries is a store that stocks anything you require and if I do not stock it, I will obtain it for a small fee."

"An excellent business model," Quark said. "Well, now that we've gotten the pitch out of the way, on to some deeper questions. What was your first opinion of this quaint little island?"

"It is approximately two hundred years advanced of my own time, so my first impression was an immediate love affair with current indoor plumbing."

"I hope that isn't literal," Quark joked. "So, a man from the past making it on his own. Sounds like the set-up of a lousy hoo-mon sitcom. What would you say is the key to your success in life?"

"Hired assassins."

Oh. Wait.

"A willingness to work with the public to meet their needs."

"Both very good choices," Quark said. "Now, every good business has a few employees. Do you have anything to say about your staff at All and Sundries?"

"Are we discussing good employees or my staff?"

Quark chuckled. "Could you elaborate on that a bit? I'm sure the public would like to know more of your opinion on your employees."

"Baldrick is the biggest waste of meat since Mrs. Lovett told Sweeny Todd that she was going vegetarian."

"Very insightful," Quark said with a chuckle. "How about the other people of the island? Anyone you feel the need to talk about on the air?"

"Watch out for that Artie person," Edmund said. Nay, sneered. "He breaks in and takes clogs, sells siding, and overemphasises random words."

Quark's eyes bugged, not that the radio audience could see that.

"Moving on to my final series of questions, now. Number one, what is your favorite word?"

"That depends. If it is being said to me, 'yes.' If I am saying it, 'no.'"

"Excellent answer," Quark said. "Question two, what's the thing you miss most about where you were before coming to Fandom?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Best way to do it," Quark said. "Question three, name one person in Fandom you wish you could fornicate with."

"Are there any mute females on the island?"

"I don't think I've ever heard the small monochrome Asian woman at the Sin speak," Quark pointed out. "But onto the final question. What is the one thing you want the people of Fandom to remember you for?"

Edmund gave Quark a chilly smile that was meant to be personable. "That I am their friend. For all their shopping needs, I am there for them. If there is money involved, I am there, and I care."

"Well, I hope you gain that proper reputation which you deserve," Quark said. "And that concludes my smashing interview for today. On to the next segment of my show..."

"Okay folks, now's your chance to ask Edmund any questions that may be on your mind. Call in now."

[ooc: Please ping off Edmund's comment to this, so he can get the proper notification]

What?

"Tell me, Shopkeeper, do you stock tire air?"

"Yes, Artie. We do. But you must buy the tire it comes in."

"Not a problem." There was a pause, then something of a girlish giggle before he continued. "Am I on the air?"

Edmund looked over at Quark for confirmation on that. "Yes, you are."

"Hellooooo Fandom! I hope everyone is having a very pipe day today!"

"Do you have any other questions, Artie?"

"How many boards would the Mongols hoarde if the Mongol hoardes got bored?"

click

"Does your store have Prince Albert in a can?"

"No, but I have bits of Prince George in a box."

"Well then you better go catch it!"

*click*

Edmund stared blankly at his microphone.

"I'd like to thank Mister Blackadder again for joining us today. Now's the time where all you folks who want to ask me a question get a proper chance. But remember, time is latinum, so don't waste your own time by asking me stupid questions."

In case any of you have thoughts of your own to add :-D

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Fandom Radio: Profits and Prophecy, 3-6 pm FST

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Interview: Edmund Blackadder

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Call-In: Questions for Edmund Blackadder

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Call-In: Questions for Quark

OOC