fandomtownies | Untitled [12-2 FDT]

Entry tags:

$pirate radio

Untitled [12-2 FDT]

At noon, anyone who had the radio turned on would suddenly hear a very familiar voice.

"Good afternoon Fandom! This is Faithful bringing you the newest radio show to hit air waves the...well, actually, I don't have a title yet. So when calling for advice today? Also sugest a possible title. Nothing rude.

So what is this show about? Well, you call in and ask for advice! Any topic is open game, though I reserve the right to hang up on you if you ask romantic advice.

And if you're very lucky? I'll figure out how to get this thing to play music and you'll get a song all of your own!" There is a soft thud and a moving rendition of 99 Bottles of Beer starts playing on the radio.

"Oomph, ah, close enough. So the lines are open, there's an oddly annoying song playing, and I'm bored."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The lines really are open.

Pete called. This may have been the result of randomly poking at the numbers on the phone.

What was that that Jaye girl had told him you were supposed to say first?

"What. Are. You. Wearing?"

Really, these modern folks had some very odd traditions.

There was a sigh and some thumping. "I. Am. A. CAT! I don't wear clothes! Or pants." There's a pause. "John, is that you?"

"No, my name's Pete. You tryin' to tell me you're a talkin' cat? Ohhhhh, wait, I met you. You're with the crazy redheaded woman." There's a pause. It's possible Pete's trying to think of something. "Jaye told me I'm supposed to tell a dirty joke or a limrick. You people have very strange traditions when it comes to these tellieferns."

There is now a rhythmic thumpic coming through. "Please don't. And she's not crazy. And yes, I'm the talking cat."

"But how do I know that for certain? I mean, I'm only hearin' a voice, not seein' you or anything. For all I know, you're some big doofy lookin' guy named Bruno who likes to pretend he's a talkin' cat. How can you people ever be sure you've got someone in the telliefern that you want in the telliefern? At least with a telegram, you know that other people are probably lookin' at what you're sendin' someone and can be prepared for it. . . ."

He could probably go on like this for hours.

Thump. Thump. Thump. "Do you have an actual question or do you just want to see if I can make a dent in this wall with my head alone? Why is everyone in this school on drugs?"

"I'll have you know I ain't on any illicit substances of any kind as of this moment. And who said anythin' about asking questions? Is that what you do on the telliefern when you don't have a dirty joke or a limerick to tell?"

"And the sad part? I totally believe you. You don't get this from drugs, you're just born like this!" Faithful let out a long sigh. "And...you called a radio program. Whether on purpose or not I'm beginning to question. You call someone for a reason. Say for instance you want to see if they want to go to dinner with you or you want to bother them."

"Well, then, why the heck don't you just go find that person and talk to them? I think that you people should all just give up and admit that a telliefern is really just an entirely inadequate musical instrument that can only play three notes and be done with it."

Thump. "Because - no, forget it. I like my brain inside my head. And don't let half the school population here you say that."

"Why not?"

"I feel sorry for your parents. And roommate."

"That isn't even remotely similar to an answer to my question, and I'd appreciate it if you would leave my parentage out of this. As far as my roommate goes. . . . I sorta feel sorry for him, too, so I'll forgive you that one."

"People like phones because they make communication easier if you use them properly. Dirty limericks and asking what I'm wearing aren't a good use. And I'm not insulting your parentage, you may have noticed, I'm just pitying them." There's a bit of silence. "So who's your poor roommate?"

"Eric Weiss. Are you sayin' that Jaye lied to me?"

"Eric? I'm sorry. I don't even know who you are but I'm sorry. And I'm sure Jaye didn't mean to lie." Faithful snickered. "Really."

"You're mockin' me, aren't you. I don't appreciate bein' laughed at or mocked."

Faithful didn't say anything for a long minute. "At least I'm not insulting you. Mostly."

"You'll pay for this, feline! Mark my words, you will pay!"

Then there was a thunking sound.

Followed by more thunking sounds and random beeps as Pete attempted to hang the phone up in the correct direction.

Barbossa called in.

"Be it jes' me who be thinkin' that International Talk Like a Pirate Day be crass commercialism exploitin' a fine tradition o' plunderin' 'n pillagin'?" he asked. "'n why be I not gettin' any free drinks fer bein' an actual pirate today?"

"Go to Caritas, I'm sure you can convince who ever is there to serve you free drinks. And yeah, a lot of things nowdays are commercialized. The day I see a stuffed talking cat plush doll? I'm suing. Hey! You should too! Get money for rum!"

"Ye think it could work?" Barbossa asked. "I know I already be a sight better lookin' than the hack they be usin' in the Captain Morgan commercials."

"Hey, even if it doesn't? At least you'll get your voice heard! Or something..."

Barbossa laughed. "Mayhaps I could be gettin' Blair t' launch a protest on me behalf. Thank ye, Faithful. Thar be a tuna fer ye in the ice box."

Faithful chuckled. "You have my full suport! Yarrr. Or something."

Phoebe had had a bad day and so, when she heard Faithful on the radio, she had to call in.

"Hi Faithful."

"Hello person. Who are you?"

Check all pitchforks at the door.

Aaargh, maties!

EEEEEEEEE KITTY RADIO.

*cackle.dies then runs off to do errandy things and have lunch*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Untitled [12-2 FDT]

Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Re: Call In!

Visit the Studio!

OOC

Re: OOC

Re: OOC