fandomtownies | Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm]

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$pirate radio

Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm]

A familiar voice came through the radio right on time.

Give or take five minutes, of course.

All right, fifteen minutes.

The important part was that he was here, right?

"This be the pirate, which be makin' today Thursday 'n this program 'Wine, Wenches, 'n Song. And I be listenin' to the radio, so I be knowin' ye be havin' some problems. Need music t' cheer ye or tactics fer avoidin' yer parents? Here be the place t' ask. The lines be open. Bother me."

Barbossa snacked on an apple and waited for the phone to ring.

Row, Bullies, Row - Jolly Rogers

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...

Given what had happened to Aziraphale (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomhighdorms/856633.html?thread=66254649#t66254649) there was no way Wilson could let this go unremarked.

After some mental pondering, he came up with a song that was close enough to the idea of hair gel, without directly infringing on Angel's copyrights.

"Good afternoon, Barbossa! Could you play It's Hairspray (http://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/h/hairspraylyrics/itshairspraylyrics.html) from the musical Hairproducts?"

There might have been the sound of a scuffle and some wrestling for the phone.

Barboss laughed. "O' course, doc," he said, playing the song.

"Hello pirate," a poorly faked girl voice said. "I have a song request."

"Do ye now, wench?" Barbossa asked, clearly skeptical about the "wench" part of his sentence.

"I'd like to dedicate Foreigner's I Want to Know What Love Is to that dreamy GOB Bluth," the poorly faked girl voice said. "And I don't care how jealous that may make certain people!"

Somewhere - but certainly not at this end of the line - GOB Bluth cackled at a devious plan that was taking place.

Any cackling that could be heard over the phone was probably due to phone static or something.

Barbossa blinked. "If ye'd like, wench," he said, putting the song on. "This be a terribly overwrought excuse fer an '80s love ballad," he said, "written by Foreigner who I be assumin' be fleein' the country shortly thereafter."

"And it's for GOB Bluth!" the poorly faked girl voice said. "Who any woman would be lucky to have!"

GOB was feeling very clever.

"Aye, that, too," Barbossa said. "Not that I be dippin' me oar into that particular body o' water."

"Thank you, pirate!" the poorly faked girl voice said before hanging up.

...

"So, if a girl I liked pretty much has too many issues to date me, and the next girl I like uses me as her backup in case something else falls through... how do I get the mast on my miniature pirate ship to fold correctly to fit in a medium sized decanter?"

There was a long pause.

"I be findin' that foldin' it accodian-style be most effective, provided that the strings ye've attached are long enough t' be pulled wit' yer tools," Barbossa said.

We can only hope he was talking about ships in a bottle.

"Thanks. I'll give that a try," Weiss said before hanging up.

Pippi wasn't sure if Papa was coming for parents weekend, but it never hurt to be prepared.

"Should I introduce the boy I like to my Papa if he shows up?"

"That be dependin'," Barbossa said. "Be yer Papa the type t' want t' cut off important bits o' yer boyfriend?"

There's a pause.

A long pause.

"... I don't know. I've not had a boyfriend before."

"Let me be rephrasin', then. Be yer boyfriend in the habit o' sayin' things that be makin' others want t' chop important bits from him?"

"... I s'ppose it woulda happened by now if he was." Pippi mused. "So I'm going to have to go with 'no'... Oh wait a moment... Well... Um..."

She did suspect that somebody had put Pip's eye out intentionally, but she still didn't know why.

"Actually, I'm gonna stick with 'no'... And that's my final answer."

Barbossa nodded, processing the information. "Then it probably be better t' come clean t' yer father. He'll figger it out anyway, more often than not."

"Okay, great!" Pippi said.

"... Come clean about what?"

Havin' a boyfriend."

"Ahhh... Yes.... So. How do you think the boyfriend will react to my having a Papa?"

"Did he think ye were hatched from an egg like a Jedi?"

"No... I think he knows I have a Papa... I think rather my question is, how will he react to my Papa being here?"

"If it be not involvin' flailin' 'n panic, he be just hidin' it very well," Barbossa said. "Meetin' parents be a big step." He laughed. "One that I have successfully avoided."

"Hmm, is there any way I can put him at ease?"

"Rum," Barbossa advised in a truly shocking change of pace.

"Got it. Thanks for the advice!"

"Is it better to be drunk or sober when confessing a very odd secret to a good friend?" No, Alanna didn't care what it sounded like.

Talk about a no-brainer for the pirate.

"Drunk. But not so drunk that ye be admittin' t' all manner o' sins ye be not meanin' to."

...

Because everything else had an exclamation point.

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Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm]

Make a song request!

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Stop by the studio!

OOC!