fandomtownies | Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FDT]

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$pirate radio

Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FDT]

Barbossa was bored.

And hungry.

This was a bad combination for a guy with access to a microphone. At four o'clock he began speaking. "It be Thursday, which be makin' me Barbossa 'n this Pirate Radio. I be here t' answer yer questions about life 'n love 'n t' play yer requests. But first, I be havin' a question fer all of ye. Why be no one bringin' me pie? I be hungry. Also, which one be goin' better wit' apple pie--ice cream or cheddar cheese? Milk or coffee? Other than rum, o' course. These be the questions that be keepin' me up at night. The phone lines be open. Bother me."

He flipped on "Cheeseburger in Paradise"--another food song, dammit--and waited for the calls to come in.

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Songs about food would be good...

Setsuna called in. "Hello, pirate." She paused. "Do we have answer your question about pie before we can make a request?"

"No," Barbossa said with a smile, "but if ye be sayin' ye don't like pie or some other blasphemy, I be not playin' a song fe ye."

"Oh, no, no, not at all. Pie is very nice," Setsuna assured him.

"Than I can be playin' yer song," Barbossa said magnanimously. "What be ye wantin' t' hear?"

"Well, today is Jude's birthday, and so I wanted to dedicate a song to him."

Her sigh on the other end of the line was quite audible.

"And I know it's really, really corny, but could you play 'Sk8ter Boy?'"

The facepalm was pretty audible too. And the blush. Ugh. What was she doing?

"The song wit' the misspellin'?" Barbossa asked.

"Ummm, yes, I believe so. The Avril Levigne one."

Setsuna wanted so badly to explain that she only knew that because the cheerleaders back at Mahora were huge fans of her, but kept it simple. The less you say, the less you reveal.

"If ye want," Barbossa said, the head shaking obvious even through the radio. "This be that Avril wench singin' the song that be spelled wit' an eight even though she be not a squirrel."

He pushed the button to play the song.

Setsuna facepalmed again. The dedication, you fool! You forgot the dedication! Now she had to listen to that annoying song and didn't even get it prefaced with something to prove that she'd be willing to put up with this kind of torture just to get a happy birthday to Jude over the radio.

Ugh! Pirates were useless.

Because it always turns out so well.

Why not?

Rory called in. "Pie with ice cream and coffee. Seriously, you have to ask? Also, you know what else is great? Cheesecake with coffee."

"Cheesecake wit' coffee?" Barbossa snorted. "Yuck."

"Cherry pie with coffee, of course," Aly replied. "But I'll take some rum as a good substitute."

Barbossa wrote down her opinion. "Thank ye fer callin', wench!"

"Where's my rum?" Aly asked. "Since you were offering."

"I be not offerin' rum," Barbossa blustered.

Aly pouted. Yes, it was obvious over the radio.

"Yer poutin' be havin' no effect on me," Barbossa said.

This was rum we were talking about. Not unimportant things like gold.

Aly laughed. "Worth a try anyway. Have a good night, Pirate."

Miho called in. The silence coming from the phone seemed to suggest ice cream and coffee went best with apple pie and anyone who disagreed was asking for a stabbing.

"Thank ye very much, Ninja!" Barbossa guessed.

Miho hung up, satisfied that her opinion had been made clear.

Layla called in. "Apple pie with ice cream and milk. Coffee is bad for you! It stunts your growth!"

"That's what they be sayin' about me drinkin' rum, 'n I be in no way stunted," Barbossa leered, writing down her opinion.

He realized he would be a lone voice but called in anyway.

"Sweet but crisp apple pie, accented perfectly by a sharp chedder cheese with port. All those flavors draw out the best in each other."

Barbossa thought about it. "I be thinkin' I be needin' t' try this t' be sure," he decided, writing the suggestion down.

Molly called in. "Ice cream with apple pie. Definitely."

Barbossa took note. "Ice cream be beatin' cheese out rather handily," he said.

"Of course it is," Molly said. "It's better."

Jaye has to call in. "Just put the ice cream in the coffee. Duh."

"Wit' the rum, right?" Barbossa confirmed.

"...Yes. And I have to do this now."

With pie, maybe!

Shortly after Miho's phone call, a blackberry pie mysteriously appeared on the windowsill of the studio.

"Pie!" Barbossa crowed, moving the squirrels away from it. "This be fer me, ye little pirates."

Aziraphale flailed at the idea that Barbossa actually had to ask over the airwaves for someone to bring him pie. So after his meeting with Rosette, he headed over to the station with a warm, homemade caramel apple pie (http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_21942,00.html?rsrc=search), and a quart of vanilla bean ice cream.

He didn't really have an opinion on the coffee vs. milk debate, as his answer would obviously have been 'tea'.

"Pie!" Barbossa said gleefully. "Thank ye!"

Sometimes pirates have manners.

But only sometimes.

God, I'm hungry.

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Wine, Wenches 'n Song [4-6pm FDT]

Make a request!

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Ask for advice!

Have an opinion about pie!

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Stop by the studio!

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no subject