fandomtownies | Our Lady of Fandom; Tuesday [ 02/06 ]

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Our Lady of Fandom; Tuesday [ 02/06 ]

Tuesday:
Feast of the Martyrs of Japan

Vaguely inspired by the confession yesterday (good Lord, there was actually a confession that wasn't El! Rosette felt she should have marked it on the calendar), Rosette was reading through a book about improving your pool game. She wondered if it would be difficult to get a pool table in the basement to practise some of this stuff. Not like she had anything better to do around here. Chrono'd already cleaned the windows about five times already today. They probably had the cleanest candlestick holders in the whole diocese.

[[ open for all your churchly needs; posted in the right community today, whoopah! ]]

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A Necromancer walks into a church...

I don't have a punchline... yet.

Sensing someone walking into the church, Rosette lowered her book for a moment to look over her shoulder to see who it was. Ooooh. Someone new. Or someone she didn't remember. One of the two. Either way, she smiled and greeted him with a "Hello. Can I help you with anything?"

"Yes, I was hoping you could perform last rites for a newly interred occupant of your graveyard."

Rosette's eyes got a little wide for a second. Last rites? Newly interred? How the hell does someone go about buying someone in the graveyard without her being aware of it? Then again, it wouldn't be the first time weird things have been done at night in that graveyard, she was sure of it, and this guy was sort of giving off a creepy sort of vibe that made her wonder if walking here during the daytime burned his skin a little. She gulped a little.

And what was with people all of a sudden expecting her to do her job? Confession yesterday, last rites today. Rosette sighed a little, setting aside her book. The work just never ended, did it?

Getting up from the pew, Rosette told Chrono to go fetch the Last Rites Book (she wasn't even sure if they had one, which could mean she'd have to make stuff up. Great). "So," she asked the gentleman, "who kicked the bucket?"

"Well, it's rather complicated you see..."

"Compli--" Rosette started out with a questioning tone, and then she gasped, blue eyes widened in shock and scandal. "You didn't kill someone, did you? I ...I mean, your secret's safe with me; it's up to your own conscious and the Big Guy to judge, not me, church confidentiality and stuff like that, but, still, oh my God!"

"What? No! I didn't kill anyone. He was like that when I got there!"

"Uh-huh," Rosette crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a doubtful look. She then shook her head. "If I were you, I'd get a better story, but I won't ask any questions..."

Byron explained to Rosette about the Joy Can.

...Rosette thought she said she wasn't going to ask any questions. Oh, well. By that time, Chrono had returned with a book, opened up to a page for last rites, thank God, and she took it from him. "Well," she looked toward Byron. "Lead the way."

Byron escorted Chrono and Rosette to the graveyard.

"He's under that tree over there."

He's trying not to stare at Chrono.

Chrono's trying hard not to notice, with a sigh and a slight shake of his head. Necromancers. Honestly. If only he was in his full form; then that'd really give the guy something to stare at.

Rosette found the spot Byron had pointed out, setting herself with a straight posture as she cleared her throat and began to read the last rites, starting out by reading the directional instructions.

"Oh, wait. I'm supposed to do that, not say it."

So she did it, and continued, with a tone of bored reverence and obligation, adding several 'blah blah blah's in her head in the pauses for prayer and consideration, and then brought it to a close with the proper amount of feigned respect.

"Amen."

A seemingly harmless little old lady with bottlecap glasses, a purse, and a head of poofy white hair made her way slowly into the church.

Seemingly harmless, note. Harm inflicted may not necessarily be physical.

Hey, it was a new little old lady that Rosette was sure she hadn't seen before (actually, the little old ladies in general seemed to stop coming to church in general finally). After a moment, though, Rosette realized that she recognized this one from the school board brunch thingy. Probably here to scope things out. Rosette adjusted the hems of her habit a little before moving down the aisle to greet the woman. "Hello," overly sweet smile, slight lean in to make up for how short this lady was, "can I help you with anything, ma'am?"

Sophia shrugged, a funny bird-like gesture that involved both hands and her purse. "Just looking around," she said. "Seeing the sights. What kind of church is this, anyway?"

"Well," Rosette tried to call up the mission statement she'd stared at lots of times but never really read, "Our Lady of Fandom church is a non-denomination, multi-religious establishment catering to the spiritual needs of students, teachers, and townies alike." Even if that wasn't it, Rosette liked how that sounded. "I'm Sister Rosette Christopher, and I mostly just make sure the place is kept nice, as well as administer to any sort of religious needs anyone might have, including weekly confessions on Monday, since, y'know, most of the stuff you need to confess happens over the weekend, if you get my drift. Har har."

"I get your drift all right," she said with a hearty chuckle. "Some things never change, kid. Matter of fact, this place reminds me of something."

"Picture it," she said with a gesture that was supposed to be oratory, "Sicily. 1922. A beautiful young girl, innocent to the ways of the world, waltzes gracefully into a church to make confession. The sun is shining through the stained glass windows and falls on a tall, dark, and handsome man standing near the baptismal font. Their eyes meet. Choirs sing. And they make passionate love right there in front of the altar. It was the best confession of my life."

Sophia had her at '1922' (definately something Rosette could picture easily), but it kept getting better from there. "In front of the alter?" she gasped, positively entranced by the pure romance of the idea. "Really? Was he a priest?"

She was currently reimagining the scenario with a certian blonde haired Father from the Order.

"Actually he was the janitor but I didn't find that out until later," Sophia said with a shrug. "But boy, lemme tell you, talk about a divine experience!"

"Oh," Rosette's enthusiasm dropped considerably, which lead her to realize that she was a nun, talking to a little old lady about sex, and, hoo boy, that did a lot for a girl's confidence. She let out a wistful sigh. "Sure beats kissing over pie in the basement, I'll bet..."

"Ah, don't kid yourself, Sister." Sophia's voice softened somewhat, and she tottered over in an attempt to nudge Rosette lightly with her elbow. "There were good times to be had in the basement. Of course, I had tiramisu and not pie, but it's the same principle, right?"

Oh, dear God, she was going to end up like this lady one day, wasn't she? Rosette closed her eyes tightly, trying not to be creeped out about the little old sex lady nudging her like that.

...Wait a second. Rosette knew for a fact that she would probably be dead before this little old lady would be. Well, after another look, maybe not, but their race to the grave would be close. And she found this...oddly reassuring.

She momentarily wondered what Yuki thought of tiramisu, and then sharply shook her head. Nun, Rosette. You're a freakin' nun.

"Yeah," she muttered finally.

"It could be worse," Sophia told her in a knowing voice. "You could have ended up at Shady Pines."

John wandered into the church, totally looking innocent.

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Our Lady of Fandom; Tuesday [ 02/06 ]

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