fandomtownies | Aereopagitica: Wednesday 2-5 PM [2-7-07]

It was always just a little bit sad to walk into his old shop, which was probably the reason Aziraphale didn't drop by very often. He smiled absently at Lana and ran his hand over the counter.

"James and I stopped in once, to meet the new owner. Very nice fellow. Really, I ought to come by more often."

Lana smiled back. "Would you like a cup of tea? I have some stuff in the back room."

"A quick cup of tea would be very nice, my dear, thank you."

Aziraphale chuckled softly at the reversal of having someone else offer him tea in the very place where that was once his job. It was fitting, though, and he smiled again. "Is there anything I can do to help you get ready to open?"

Lana went into the back room to get the kettle going. "If you'd like to flip over the sign to open, that would be good," she called back. "It's usually pretty quiet."

Aziraphale did just that, walking to the window and turning the sign.

"Do you know...it feels a little strange to not have a bookshop. I had one for so long, but...it's been a year now since we left, and so a year since I've had my own shop. I love teaching, of course, but I do miss this."

Lana nodded as she brought back two tea bags and some cream and sugar to the counter. "I understand," she said. "When I was home at Christmas I went back to the Talon, the coffee shop I used to run, and it was so odd. I don't think I'd realized just how much I'd missed it."

She smiled up at him. "The water will be ready in a minute."

"Quite," he agreed. "It's rather a struggle sometimes, to let go of an old comfortable habit. And I don't think, if I hadn't come here and met all of you, I would ever have learned how."

Aziraphale leaned against the counter while they waited for the water to boil. "Perhaps you could help me with something. I think I'd like to get James a book for Valentine's Day. Poetry, I think. Do you suppose you might have something here?"

Lana didn't have to think hard about that. "Pablo Neruda," she suggested. "I particularly like The Captain's Verses (http://www.amazon.com/Captains-Verses-Pablo-Neruda/dp/0811215806). Very... sensual."

It embarrassed Aziraphale just a bit to be discussing anything 'sensual' with his students, but it was probably only fair turnabout considering it had been Lana who'd he'd caught perusing a copy of the Kama Sutra in his shop.

"I think that sounds perfect," he agreed. "I imagine I'll get him some flowers as well, but I wanted something else to go along with them. If you have a copy here, I'll take it."

Lana was blushing a little herself, but she went and pulled a copy from the shelves and brought it to him. "Here you go."

She heard the water boiling in the other room and disappeared in there, returning momentarily with a teapot. She poured them each a cup, then sat down behind the counter, gesturing him to another stool there.

Setting the book aside so he'd remember to pay for it, Aziraphale took a seat on the stool and nodded approvingly at the tea.

"Did you manage to works things out with Mr Ellison?" he asked gently, hoping he wasn't being too nosy by asking.

Lana blushed a little again, but nodded. "We did. We talked about it and he said he realized I'd never do anything like that to him if I was myself. Things are... really good." She blushed a little more.

"I really do love him," she said quietly. "So much that it's still pretty frightening."

"I'm very glad to hear that," Aziraphale replied, his expression brightening at the words 'really good'. He nodded as Lana spoke, knowing exactly how she felt.

"I feel the same way about James. I suppose it's not...something I ought to be feeling, but I really don't know what I would do without him."

Lana nodded. "I don't have very good luck with people I love. They all die or have to leave and can't come back. Jim's the only one who's ever come back and I get scared that when he does leave sometime I won't know how to handle it."

She sighed. "And I feel guilty about how much I worry him."

With a hint of sadness to his smile, Aziraphale replied, "Yes, I know how you feel. James sometimes lectures me for how much I worry, and how protective I am. After Crowley..." He shook his head. "The Plan is ineffable, my dear. If the others you lost had not left you, you would never have found the love you have now. Sometimes it's our greatest pain that leads us to our greatest joy."

Lana smiled unexpectedly. "So, Dr. Wilson and I should put you and Jim together and let you worry for the day while we go off and do crazy things?"

She sobered a bit. "And I know, or hope at least, that there's some sort of plan. And I'm so grateful to have him in my life, even if it's just for now. I mean, I know I'm only 18 and I have the rest of my life and all, but for right now? I just want someone to hold onto."

Chuckling, Aziraphale said, "Oh, James would love that plan, I'm sure. If only to teach me not to be so fretful over things."

He smiled sympathetically at Lana's next words. "I think you're looking at it with a very sensible view. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone you love in your life at your age, but it's good that you're not trying to plan out every detail of life ahead of time. I couldn't understand why I was being sent here when I first arrived, in fact I wondered if I was being punished. But it's turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened. I'm terrible at accepting change, ask James. So know how frightening it can be. But I also really do believe that HE knows what HE's doing, even if we aren't always so sure."

Lana sipped at the hot tea carefully. "I try to be sensible. I mean, I know I have this... need or drive to try to have people - someone of my own. I want so badly not to be alone. But I try not to just cling to someone because I'm scared of being by myself."

She looked up at him quickly as if worried he'd misunderstand. "Not that I'm doing that with Jim. I really do care about him for himself. It's just I know I have to be careful not to be like that."

"It's all right," Aziraphale assured her quickly. "I really do know what you're trying to say. I have to watch myself as well, and not...withdraw when James isn't around. It's a bad habit I've had for a very long time, and I don't want James to be my only excuse for getting out into the world."

He smiled, and sipped at his own tea. "So I understand. And I suspect so does Mr Ellison. You can love someone and need them, I think."

"Well, you can always come watch out for me if Dr. Wilson isn't around," Lana said with a smile. "Come out into the world and keep me out of trouble. I don't really have anyone, so..."

She let out a little contented sigh. "And Jim does know I love him. The needing him worries him some, but he's dealing with it."

"You have James and me," Aziraphale replied, his voice insistent. "Don't ever think that you don't have anyone, my dear. And I promise I'll take you up on that offer. Next time James gets called away to the hospital, or to a lecture, I'll be certain to let you know so that you can get into just a little bit of mischief and I can come and fret over it."

He smiled, giving Lana's arm another reassuring touch. "It's a little scary to be needed by someone, if you're unsure of yourself. You're both young, I have no doubts that the two of you will work everything out."

Lana felt a small lump in her throat at his words, but she managed to nod and smile. "Thank you. And yes, let me know and I'll get into a little trouble and let you scold me. It's good to know I can come find one of you if I need something."

"I think we will work things out," she said. "One way or another. And for now, we're both happy and I think we both bring out the best in each other. I like who I am when I'm with him."

With another warm smile, Aziraphale sipped at his tea and then nodded. "Yes, yes I feel exactly that way. James brings out qualities in me that I like, and he makes me get involved in things that I'm awfully glad for."

He set down his empty teacup. "I should be getting along to clinic, I think. Thank you very much, my dear. It's been nice to be back here in the old shop. I hope you're enjoying working here."

"Thank you for walking me back to town and stopping for tea with me," Lana replied with another smile. "And yes, I do enjoy working here. I've always loved books, so it's kind of the perfect job for me."

"I'm very glad to hear that, my dear," Aziraphale said, as he pulled on his coat for the walk to the clinic. "And it was my pleasure to join you. Thank you for your help in finding a gift for James."

"You're very welcome," Lana said, with a shy smile. "I hope he enjoys it."

Aereopagitica: Wednesday 2-5 PM [2-7-07]

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