fandomtownies | Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

When GOB walked into Caritas, he saw Tino sitting at the bar with oil stains on his shirt.

Had he cared enough to ask, GOB would have found out that an El Camino had suddenly appeared in the basement while Tino slept last night. Tino had to take the car apart in order to make his way upstairs. GOB would have also found out that an El Camino was a vehicular mullet: business in the front, party in the back. GOB also would have learned that Tino's favorite color was blue.

But he didn't care enough to ask. He just knew that Tino wasn't pouring any drinks for him tonight.

[OOC: The bar is open and I am around!]

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Sing.

Drink.

Fraser pushed open the door of Caritas and headed straight for the bar. He smiled sweetly when he sat down.

"Hello, Mr. Bluth."

"Mountie," GOB greeted. "What'll you have?"

"Nothing for me," he said. "I just came to see if you'd gone back to your..." He'd been about to say normal but stopped for some reason. "...self."

"Are you back to normal?" GOB asked.

"I appear to be," he said. "Are you?"

"Of course I am," GOB said. "Don't I look normal?"

"You're not asking for ice cream so I suppose you are," he said. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"I was surrounded by annoying kids who didn't like me. What do you think?" GOB asked.

"Ah." He leaned against the counter. "You didn't seem to like anyone else either. Even when they were nice to you."

"What goes around comes around. Other kids are jerks to me, I give it right back," GOB said.

"I don't recall being mean to you," Fraser said. "Was I mean to you? I think I was only mean to one of the teachers at the school."

"You said I smelled like doodoo," GOB said.

"And you insulted Canada," Fraser said, mentally facepalming at himself. "Many times."

"You had it coming," GOB said. "So did Canada."

"What did Canada ever do to you?"

"It created hockey," GOB said.

"Which has done nothing to you," Fraser pointed out. "Perhaps, you just want to be Canadian."

"Please. If I were Canadian, I'd come down to America hoping to get shot," GOB said.

"No, I think I'm right," Fraser declared. "You want to be Canadian. Perhaps...you even want to be a Mountie."

"I only bought the suit for the bitch who will not be named," GOB said.

Fraser frowned but decided not to press that issue. "And now you'll get some more use out of it. Really, Mr. Bluth, I'd be happy to train you. We could even start calling you Constable Bluth."

"I swear to God, I'll have Tino punch you if you don't shut up," GOB declared.

Fraser smiled. "I didn't think such a thing was possible here. If you're lucky, we could take a trip to Canada and let you see your adopted home country."

"If I ever go to Canada, I'm bringing crime with me. I'll steal so much crap you won't believe it," GOB declared.

"And then you'll end up in a Canadian jail," Fraser said. "With Canadian inmates. And Canadian food. And Canadian women."

"I know crime. I won't get caught," GOB said.

"You don't know Canadian crime," Fraser said, "Constable."

"Well if I'm going to be a Mountie, I'd better know something about Canadian crime," GOB said. He was getting ideas in his mind.

"What did you want to know?" Fraser asked. "I've several books in my room I could loan you."

"I want to know how easy it is to knock over a liquor store in Canada," GOB said.

"I wouldn't know, I've never tried," Fraser replied.

"I need to know this," GOB said.

He had a plan.

"And what do I get if I tell you something such as this?"

"A free drink of your choice," GOB said.

"That's too light," Fraser said, shaking his head. "No. I tell you this, you wear the proper Mountie uniform your next shift."

"Yeah, sure," GOB said. This could actually work with his plan.

"All right." Fraser proceeded to tell him the information he wanted to know ~~because I really don't know omg~~. Of course, he told GOB everything in specific detail. And he added Inuit stories.

GOB took notes on bar napkins. They weren't very detailed notes. Especially not when the Inuit were mentioned.

But, by god, he knew how to knock over a Canadian liquor store now. "Great. Thank you."

"And perhaps you could curb your insulting of Canada?"

"Maybe," GOB said. That meant "no."

"And I apologize for telling you to screw yourself," Fraser said. "I shouldn't have said that, child or not."

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have," GOB said..

Fraser frowned. "You might've deserved it."

"I didn't," GOB stated.

Relax.

The El Camino goes out to

rory__gilmore.

IT'S A VEHICULAR MULLET.

*dances*

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Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

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