Our Lady of Fandom; Saturday [ 03/17 ]

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

There were snakes on a plane in the church. A lot of them. They didn't seem to be dangerous snakes, but they were there, slithering around, hissing, making Rosette feel slightly creeped out. They must have come up from some of the basement tunnels.

When Chrono came up behind her and pinched her (hard, too, the little jerk), she realized what day it was. "Hey! What was that for?" she asked, knowing full well what it was.

"You're not wearing any green," he pointed out.

"These habits don't come in green!"

"Excuses, excuses."

"You're not wearing any, either!" Rosette remarked, and nearly pounced on Chrono to pinch his cheek until it was red.

And, in the process, accidently stepped on a snake, who reered back and hissed at her, fang beared.

"Eep." She went out to go change the sign.

Saturday
St. Patrick's Day
Anyone here named Patrick? Or even Irish? Quarter-Irish?
SERIOUSLY! HELP!



[[ open for all your churchly needs; watch the allegories for paganism snakes ]]

Comments

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John walked past, as you do, and noticed the sign. Hrm.

Connor. Was he Irish?

He pulled his Army coat around him and decided to investigate.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

Rosette and Chrono were perched on the back of one of the pews with their back facing the door; Rosette had her chin in her hands with her elbows on her knees as she said to Chrono, "Five bucks say that red one there is going to try to eat the yellow one..."

In front of John lay a sea of snakes.

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"I've got a 10 that says the green one there eats the winner," John says, hopping up on the pew next to Rosette.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"You're on," Rosette said, grinning as she turned to him slightly before glancing back at the snakes. "They don't seem to be doing much at the moment, though."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Hrm. Why are they here? You raising a batch of super-tasty mice or something?"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Not to my knowledge," Rosette said, sighing slightly. "Just woke up and they were here. I'm thinking maybe all that rain brought them out of the tunnels."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Well, maybe they'll go away. Gotta say, they're not as cuddly as the dorm penguins."

One of the snakes reared up at that. "Oh, hush, you," John said to him. Her. It? "Can't take snakes for a walk like a dog, and y'all don't purr."

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"...Dorm penguins?"

"And I really do hope they'll go away. I was thinking, since it's Saint Patrick's day, we could get some Irish guy with a staff in here to take care of all the snakes. No luck so far."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Dorm pengies. THey tried to steal my bathtub! Or, take it over, at least. SO cute. If I find any, I'll steal 'em away for you," he smiled.

"Would it help if I found a tree branch and gestured emphatically?"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"It might!" Rosette said brightly, and gave him a little push. "Go find one and try it!"

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John pushes her back and flips off the pew backwards like a ninja and returns in a few minutes with a respectable shillelagh-like stick.


He paused, poised, posed. "Let my people go!" he exclaimed, stick outstretched.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

Rosette nearly fell off the pew for her giggling, clutching her stomach a little.

The snakes stayed where they were.

"Oh, well," she said. "Guess you're not Irish or saintly enough."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Hrm. SHould I drink the holy water? Or dip the stick in it?" He grinned.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Oh! That's a good idea!"

Carefully, she hopped down from the pew, watching her step so no snakes got crushed underfoot as she announced, "To the baptismal font!"

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Lead the way!" John hops over the snakes, and decides that the pews may be faster.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

And so she did. Once at the baptismal font, Rosette grinned at John. "Okay. Now. Stick it in, and I'll say something to bless it and we'll see if that works any better."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John dips his stick in it, making sure it's wet, as far as it'll go. "Okay. Ready."

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Um, okay, let's see." Rosette tapped her chin as she tried to think of a good blessing.

"O, Holy Father, please bless this stick so that when John handles it, he may beat off the other snakes, driving them from invading the sanctity of your holy temple. Forever an' ever, amen." She held out her hand over the baptismal font and gave it a dramatic wave; she had no idea if that's how it was supposed to be done, but it seemed logical.

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John grins, wondering if it'd be bad form to do the "Touchdown Jesus" pose. He takes the stick out; the knobbed end dribbles a bit as he handles it with both hands. "I have the power!" John exclaimed, turning into Him-Guy

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Well?" Rosette nodded at John and then tilted her head toward the snakes. "Give it a second try, see if it worked."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John posed, his stick thrust outwards, shaking a few drops from the tip as he loudly ejaculatedexclaimed, "Let my people goooo!"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

The snakes...seemed entirely unmoved. Rosette sighed and put a hand on John's shoulder, leaning into him a little. "Guess I'm not holy enough, either." But that shouldn't have surprised anyone.

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Guess I'm not Irish enough, either." He pats her hand on his shoulder.

He pokes some of the snakes with his pole. "Hey. Shoo. Plan B is to let the shoe place in town know we're running a special if they're looking for snakeskin boots."

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"I think I actually like Plan B better," Rosette offered with a grin. "More profitable."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"YEah, I'm sure the boot peoples will be happy." He turned to the snakes. "Oi! Y'all stay there, and we'll get the cobbler to come and turn you all into footware."

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

The snakes were still unaffected.

Worriedly, Rosette leaned in to whisper in John ear, "Do we even have a cobbler in this town?"

And, strangely, she was getting hungry for pie when she asked that.

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

He whispered back. "They don't know that." Strangely, John was hungry for pie. "Do you still have your cherry left? The pie?"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"I think they do," Rosette kept with the lowered tone, "because they don't seem to be taking your threat very seriously." She paused, frowning. "And, no," still whispering, "I don't. You honestly think pie would last long around here? Definatelly all been consumed."

...And they'd been delicious, too. Oh, man....

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Aw, man. Don't tell me your cherry's all gone?" John looked at her with puppy dog eyes. "Do you still have the box it came in? There could be some left."

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Um, I'm not sure," Rosette realized, although she was pretty certain that she wouldn't leave any pie left untouched. "Chrono, do we still have the pie box?"

"No, I took care of that once and for all yesterday."

"Oh. Right. Sorry, John."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

John shook his head. What is this world coming to when a demon eats a nun's cherry pie? I bet he ate it right out of the tin and licked the box.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"We could go get pie?" Rosette offered. "Not like we can do much around here with all these snakes."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Yes. All this talk of pie is making me hungry. Shall we?" John crooks his arm and twirls his blessed shillelagh, using it as a pimp cane.

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

Rosette snaked her arm around John's offered one with a grin and nodded. "I believe we shall."

Yay pie!

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"In search of pie!" John says, pointing the way with his stick. "Chrono, you coming?"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Nah, I'm good," Chrono waved a dismissive hand, eyeing the snakes. "I've had my fill of pie recently, trust me. I'll just stay here and...make sure...these guys don't...get into the tabernacle or something..."

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Okay. You want something?"

[nun-better.livejournal.com]

"Check and see if Turtle & Canary has snake repellant?" Chrono offered with a smirk, although he was wondering why he didn't think of that before Rosette and John started in with that whole blessing the stick bit.

[apocalypsesoon.livejournal.com]

"Can do, Purpleheaded guy."