fandomtownies | The Park, Sunday Morning

Entry tags:

@park,
jeff murdock

The Park, Sunday Morning

Nana was galloping through the park like a mad dog, sticking her nose in places and skittering from one side to the other.

As such, there was also a Jeff, sticking perilously close to anything even remotely approaching a tree as he frantically called for her. "Come back! We can't be out too long! She'll know where to find us! She's got a homing beacon and everything, I'm certain of it! Nana!"

[ open park omg ]

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The park was actually rather nice. Relaxing, in a way. Sure it would probably look better with some heavy weapon emplacements, and maybe a minefield or two, but it was certainly servicable.

Thus Destro and the Baroness walked side by side talking quietly with one another. It was entirely possible that the couple were just the sort of thing Nana would find worth investigating.

Mid-bounce, Nana perked her head up.

"Don't do it," Jeff warned from the sidelines, "Nothing good can come of it."

Flopping her head around, she bounded happily over towards the happy couple. They were being happy and coupley! She should be a part of it!

Which would be why she leapt at Destro. Front paws first.

Destro's head spun around, "What the-!?" he cut off as Baroness shoved him out of the way. Her hand shot down to her holster and came up with... nothing. They hadn't recovered their weapons yet.

Nana danced around them. She was a pretty pretty ballerina! These people got it! Oh, the joy of it!

She stuck her nose in the nearest available crotch.

Jeff flailed on the sidelines, afraid that his mother might jump out of he left the shade of the trees.

Destro jumped back from the intruding nose, his foot pulling back for a quick kick. Or two. Or three. Or... why limit ourselves? But the Baroness, having spotted Jeff, placed a hand on the masked man's arm to restrain him.

"Is this your dog?" she called to Jeff, a "sweet" smile on her face.

Nana panted cheerfully at Destro's face. Such a nice man! She could smell it.

"...Escape velocity!" Jeff blurted, halfway into a paralyzing thought. "I mean, no! Er, sometimes she reaches escape velocity, it's really really worrisome, you know, she jumps on people's... breasts and everything, she's got a real breast velocity problem!"

"So this isn't your dog?" she asked sweetly, seeking to get clear on the situation. There was a note of urgency in her tone as Destro looked like he had very little patience left and might start kicking at any moment.

"No, no no no no," Jeff stammered, staring at her.

Maybe at slightly the wrong height for her face.

"No, I mean, yes, she's my dog, well, she sort of owns herself, you know what it's like, dogs. It's like they've got minds of their own!"

"So you wouldn't mind terribly if my husband were to kick the dog?" Her smile is still frozen in place.

Jeff blinked for perhaps a moment too many.

"...I'm not certain that would be entirely ethical," he said, soberly.

The moment would pass, like the wind.

"Ah. I believe I understand." No she didn't. But she did remove her hand from Destro's arm. Now that she was no longer restraining him, his face twisted into an angry snarl and he swung his boot toward Nana's nose.

Nana was a Saint Bernard.

This meant she was big. This meant she was drooly. This meant she was, to put it mildly, naive.

It also meant she was akin to a clumsy ninja.

Which is how she managed to turn away from the kick in blissful ignorance, slamming her body full-tilt at Destro as she was doing it.

She wanted him to pet her!

"...Not that I would know much about pet ethics, of course, not technically being a voluntary pet owner, I haven't done the proper research..." Jeff ranted on in the background.

Destro's snarl disappeared in a look of almost bemused horror as Nana clipped his leg out from under him. Kicking foot forward, bumped foot backward, body straight down, ooooooh.

Oooo! This was even better! Nana sprang at Destro's face, licking enthusiastically. He was her favorite person in the whoooooole world.

Jeff took a nervous glance in one direction, then in the other. Very slowly, he crept away from the shadows, his face broadcasting most complete alarm.

Baroness had stopped looking at Jeff and had turned to aim her own kick at Nana, who's enthusiastic licking was amazingly effective at keeping Destro pinned to the ground and flailing (and cursing).

Even better! This person was even better!

Nana's tongue lolled happily as she weaved past the kick and flew at Baroness. Full bodycheck.

"I'm sorry!" Jeff babbled, scrambling closer, "She's normally never like this -- well, sometimes she is -- well, she's always like this, but that's not to say she should normally be like this, it's dogs, they have this habit of--- velocitizing..."

Baroness managed to brace herself just in time to stay on her feet as Nana slammed into her. Destro, no longer pineed, got to his feet angrily. His eyes flashed dangerous as her turned to Jeff, "Get your dog off her, or I'll kill both of you."

What he was going to use was less than apparent since he was unarmed at the moment.

Jeff scrambled harder, snapping Nana up by the collar.

Of course, in the process, he overshot badly, the dog went rolling, and he went...

Well.

Let's just say he ended up on his back in the grass, covered in happy, heavy, drooling dog. And got a tongue bath.

"NANA! PLEASE! THIS IS VERY UNHYGIENIC! WHAT IF MOTHER SEES?! SHE MIGHT GET THE PAPERWEIGHTS!"

Baroness scrambled away from the two of them and then both she and Destro turned to glare at Jeff.

"You keep that thing under control," Destro growled.

"Or we might be forced to resort to drastic measures," Baroness added.

They were both very carefully backing away from the scary demon disguised as a happy dog.

Jeff was a little busy dealing with a face full of dog. However, the noises he was making would probably approximate something like, "Well, obviously I do try, but unfortunately not everything is possible in this day and age," but they remained, for the moment, mostly indecipherable.

"Yes, well," Baroness frowned.

"See that you do that," Destro finished. Whatever "that" was.

The couple beat a hasty, if relatively sedate-looking, retreat.

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The Park, Sunday Morning

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