fandomtownies | Arms Hotel Lobby, Tuesday

We imagine it isn't actually diagrams. Unless you want sticky notes for lunch.

The Great Planner may be interrupted in his work.

"Hey, Jeff," Johnny said as he approached. "I need to book a room."

Jeff paused momentarily above his scribbling, but did not in fact look up. "Okay."

Johnny glanced down at the scribbling and raised a brow. "Uh, for tonight."

And now Jeff's head came up. "Oh, right!" he said, grinning in a mildly apologetic way. "Sorry, I thought you just meant generally."

His mind was miles away.

"No problem," Johnny offered with a slight grin. "I want a nice room, maybe a view of the ocean if you've got one available."

"I don't think that would be a problem," Jeff said, polite in a distracted kind of way. "We don't get an awful lot of people." He pottered over towards the keys, pulled one out, and put it on the desk. "There's a book or something you've got to sign," he added, as an afterthought. "I think. I'm not entirely certain, the last time I checked anyone in they were a pimp."

Jeff still had good memories of Rikku.

Johnny wasn't too sure he needed to know about the pimp. Still, curiosity won out. "They still here? The pimp? And yeah, there is a book. I was here doing this very same thing the week before and Mary had me sign a book."

Jeff's tone was most considerably sad (and maybe even a little depressed, in his own way) when he said, "No, she left the next morning."

"Oh, I'm... sorry." It was an automatic response to Jeff's somber tone. He was very curious about the pimp girl though and why Jeff was sad about her leaving. Johnny thought Turtle was his girl but wasn't about to ask for clarification.

...yes, he was.

"You liked the pimp chick, or something?"

"Well, I phoned her while she was naked," Jeff explained, "There's the sort of thing that forms a bond, there. And she was a pimp! A female pimp. Very progressive, you've got to admire that."

"How do you know she was naked when you called her?" Because unless asked specifically... "What'd she look like? Cause I've seen some female pimps before and --" Johnny shuddered. "-- ew."

"I asked her, obviously," Jeff responded, matter-of-factly. "It was on the radio!"

"Dude, you ask chicks if they're naked when you call them?" Johnny was mildly impressed. "I don't make a habit of listening to the radio. Especially when Tur-- well, I just don't listen often."

"The squirrels had notes about potential nudity," Jeff explained, "I love my girlfriend, but obviously if the opportunity arises to phone a gorgeous female pimp while she's naked in your place of employment, there have to be allowances. And anyway, I phoned Turtle afterwards to make up for it."

While he was bleeding in the room below his, but phoning was phoning.

"Ah, I get it." Or he was trying. "Turtle didn't kick you, did she? I don't think my girlfriend would like me calling naked girls and laying the blame on squirrels and their note taking skills. I mean, I would try, yeah, but it most likely wouldn't work." He tapped his chin. "Unless I didn't actually see the girl -- did you see the naked pimp, Jeff?"

"Not when she was naked, obviously," Jeff said. Laughingly and with a goodly amount of incredulity. "And Turtle was very understanding!"

Johnny gave him a look. "Well you never know. Sometimes pimps can be naked under their fur coats and flash you just to mess with your mind." Totally in TV land but Johnny was thinking there were crazy pimps out there for real. "Was she hot? The pimp, not Turtle. And don't ever let her kick you man; it hurts like hell."

Jeff opened his mouth.

Then closed it.

"I'm sorry," he explained, droning up like a newscaster (or maybe a politician scrambling out of a scandal) "It's just I've already got a girlfriend, there's no reasonable reason for me to comment on the looks of other women. Why would I do that?" Jeff was nothing if not paranoid enough to think Turtle might be listening.

"Well you said something about opportunity -- was just asking, you know. Isn't there a rule about looking but not touching? I think talking to a naked girl even surpasses that rule. I've never talked to a naked girl. Over the phone anyway," he smirked. "In person, yeah." And Johnny was getting way off track here.

...

"I've got a girlfriend too. I love her. She hot." He looked around for any furry creatures, feeling a tad paranoid himself. "Yeah. I love my girl."

"It wasn't so much touching as moving my lips in the phone's general area," Jeff said quickly, "You know, when you love your girlfriend, there's no need for anything but hypotheticals? Even hypotheticals are right out. Why would we even talk to other women? That would just be mad, wouldn't it?"

Ah, paranoia.

"Right. I mean, why would we? If we've got a girl then other hot, potentially naked girls shouldn't even enter our brain. Or the pictures therein." He wasn't thinking about the two Victoria Secret models he had in the simulator that one time. No.

"But before our girlfriends, that's totally cool, right? I mean, talking about that is like talking about the past. That can't be harmful. It's a... memory. Not like you can erase it. Right?"

"Exactly!" Jeff was quite emphatic about this. Yes. Of course no other naked girls would enter your brain. None at all.

"I'm not certain," he went on, "I think it's all right as long as you never talk about it when they're there. It makes them very cross." Images of the Turbot flashed past his mind.

"Hell no, this is buddy talk. You know, me, you... guy talk. It's not meant for sensitive female ears of the girlfriend variety. It's shooting pool drinking beer talk." And he seriously hoped the squirrels were getting this convo down right.

"I don't talk about girls." It was a lie but he was sure Jeff got his point.

"Me neither!" Jeff exclaimed, a little too eagerly. "There's absolutely no reason for either of us to talk about women. No reason at all. I'm glad we've got that cleared up."

"Me too! Thanks for the room dude." He grabbed the key, laid down some cash, and headed for the door.

He was not paranoid. God.

He just forgot to sign the book.

Mary was sick and only came down to the lobby to pester Gunther for taking so long with her room service order.

"Hi Jeff," she said, her voice sounded like she had a bad cold. "Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to contribute to our hotel's policy for handling nude guests. I found this article (http://tinyurl.com/2k4kcf) about how Travelodge developed a special policy to handle naked sleepwalkers and thought it might not be such a bad idea. Here, I know I left that article at the desk yesterday."

Jeff blinked fiendishly and repeatedly. Oh. Right. Rest of the world. Present. "...Naked sleepwalkers?" he asked, because it was the only thing out of that sentence he had picked up on.

"Yeah, apparently in England they're seeing a 70% increase in sleepwalkers showing up totally naked in the lobby," said Mary, finding the article in one of the desk drawers. Of course, that meant she had to lean over Jeff to open the drawer, putting the neckline of her low-cut sweater right at Jeff's eye level.

"I used to get the occasional streaker when I worked in Las Vegas, but I also had a security team that usually stopped the guy before he reached the lobby," she continued. "There's nothing like that here."

After the conversation he'd had with Johnny earlier, a busom in his face was a little bit of a distress to poor Jeff's brain. "...I don't streak naked for busoms," he blurted. "That would just be mad. I have a girlfriend."

Mary straightened up. "I never really understood streakers either," she said, ignoring the part about busoms. "Unless they were a distraction for someone robbing the casino. Anyway, read the article and let me know what you think. We could probably just keep extra bath towels down here at the front desk for any sleepwalkers that show up."

Nana's wandering around your moddable lobby and staff trying to look past the note on her nose.

At last! A decent night's sleep. Mmm.

Arms Hotel Lobby, Tuesday

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OOC