Graveyard: Saturday Night

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

For once, Mel would have preferred to be back in the dorms but for some reason most of the men seem to be rather... uptight.

So instead she was patrolling like a good little slayer should.

"Here lurky, lurky, lurky."

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[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

There was a smelly little grey dog curled up by a gravestone worrying at a hunk of half-rotten meat.

There was also a voice muttering, "Don't really 'spect somethin to come when you call, do you? That's jus' sort of pathetic."

Let's pretend those two things weren't related.

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Mel looked around the graveyard and put her hand on the handle of her scythe.

"Who said that?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Nobody. Don't be silly. Nobody here."

The dog was blinking up at her with big, round eyes. And its lips were moving.

"But if you had any food about yer person, lookit the little doggie over there. Don't he look hungry?"

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

... "Did you just say something?" Mel said staring at the dog.

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Not a thing. Don't be silly. Dogs can't talk."

Gaspode stood up, stretched, and settled in for a nice, long scratch at his ear.

"You wouldn't happen to have a biscuit of any sort, would you? Would really hit the spot right now, a nice biscuit."

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"Like I carry a biscuit around with me while I..."

Mel shook her head.

"Okay. Took a while since I got here but yes. I'm now completely spun."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Story of my life," the dog grumbled. "Don't worry about it. Move along, nothing to see here, jus' your imagination, sort of fing. I'll keep an eye out for your Lurky, though. 's the kind of guy I am."

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Mel sighed. She might as well embrace the craziness.

"I got a twinkie. Can you eat that?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

The dog shuffled oddly. It's entirely possible it was trying to shrug. "Dunno, never tried. Prob'ly. What's a Twinkie?"

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Mel shrugged and pulled out a Twinkie and removed the wrapper. "Here. It's golden sponge cake with a creamy center."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

Gaspode trotted up to her. "Just drop it, okay? You do that thing where you hold it jus' out of reach so I hafta get up on my hind legs to reach, 'm gonna... dunno. Bite you onna ankle or somethin'."

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

Mel rolled her eyes and dropped it on the ground. "You shouldn't make threats like that here. You'll end up squashed."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Been squashed before," Gaspode muttered. "It sucked."

He tried a bite of the Twinkie and chewed it thoughtfully. "Hmmm... Int'resting. Tastes good, but it's not 'xactly 'food', is it?" He licked the cream off his lips and looked up at Mel. "You realize you're not supposed to give sugar to dogs, right? Makes us sick."

That didn't stop him from eating the rest of it.

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"How the hell am I supposed to know that?" Mel asked. "Like I've ever owned one."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, THAT'S bloody obvious," Gaspode grumbled. "I'm just saying, if I hafta be sick later on, I'm gonna do it on your shoe. 'S one of them wossnames. Karmer."

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"You're the one who ate it. Plus you didn't seem that picky to begin with. If you're going to throw up on someone do it on yourself."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Did that yest'rday. Seems only fair to have some variety."

Gaspode looked around and began scratching himself again. "So, where are we, anyway? And don't you dare say 'in a graveyard', har, har."

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"Well you are. You're in Fandom. Which is a little scary at times."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Never heard of it. How far's Ankh Morpork?"

[cantjossme.livejournal.com]

"Is that a new Chinese restaurant?"