Corner of Unicorn & Black Swan, Friday

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

There was a poor, sad, lonely little doggie sitting on the street corner.  Looking so, so, hungry.  Don't you want to feed the doggie?

There was also a hat on the sidewalk next to him with a few coins in it.

Comments

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow just so happened to be out for a walk.

She did not, at first, notice the doggie.

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

Bugger.

"Woof?"

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow looked for the source of the bark, then smiled. "Oh, hello! Are you lost?"

She wasn't actually expecting the dog to talk back, per se.

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"My, what a hungry-looking dog he is. I fink I'll give him a bite to eat."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow blinked. She looked around to make sure no one else was there but her and the dog. "Did you say something?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

The dog looked at her mournfully.

"Course not. Dogs can't talk. Incident'ly, if you don't have any food, some coinage'd be appreciated."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Actually it depends," Willow said. Luckily she was wearing pants, so it was no problem for her to kneel down to get closer to doggie eye-level. "Some dogs in Narnia talk. Only you look a little small for a Narnian dog. Then again I never really understood why talking came with a height requirement. Would half of a sandwich be okay?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"It's not nice to point out sommun's shortcomings," Gaspode told her. "Get it? Shortcomings, har, har. Half a sandwich'd be lovely, fanks."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow giggled at the joke. She rummaged in her bag and produced half of a turkey sandwich on a roll. "Turkey okay? And personally I think your height is fine. It's just that when I get on about talking animals I get told only the big ones talk and sometimes I wonder if that's because the big ones are the only ones who can make you listen."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Turkey's good, fanks," Gaspode said, staring intently at the half-sandwich.

Out of the side of his mouth, he muttered, "The big ones're usually bloody stupid, if you ask me."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Here you go," Willow said, handing him the sandwich. "I find it depends on the animal. Much like with people. I'm Willow, by the way."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Gaspode," he said, as he set to the sandwich with gusto. "Named after the famous Gaspode. Seems to me most people think they're a lot smarter than they really are."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Gaspode," Willow said. "Do you shake? I don't like to assume. It seems speciesist."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"I don't shake, I don't roll over, I don't play dead, and I DO NOT fetch. So let's just say 'pleestameetcha' and leave it at that."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Duly noted," Willow said. "So what brings you to Fandom?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"The thing in the" -- he shuddered -- "Post Office. I ain't takin' that way home."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Oh no!" Willow said. "That must be awful for you, being a dog and all. Or am I buying into stereotypes again?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Which part?" Gaspode asked. "Not bein' able to find my way home don't bother me much. 'Snot like I got much to go back to. The post, on the other paw -- yeah, that's a deep-seated wossname in the dog psyche. Dogs and postmen have been nemesisises since -- and this is the int'resting bit -- before post was invented."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Oooo." Willow looked like she wished she was taking notes. "That is interesting. Do you think early dogs just sort of gave the furry eyeball to anybody thinking to themselves 'Gosh I wish there was a way I could give information to my friends without that pesky talking issue?'?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

Gaspode finished off the sandwich.

"Yes, because clearly we started the whole thing. Speciesist."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Oh no!" Willow said. "I didn't mean it like that. I was thinking more like dogs were one step ahead of the humans? Or would that be four steps, given the paw issue?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"We still take our steps one at a time," Gaspode pointed out. "Incident'ly, got any more sandwich?"

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Sadly no," Willow said. "I sorta ate the first half. Is it hard for you to find food?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Nah, it's pretty easy," Gaspode assured her. "Day's not half over an' I already found a sandwich."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Willow smiled. "Whew. I'm glad. So are you from Narnia? Because King Peter is here, if you're looking for him."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Narnia? Never heard of it. I'm from Ankh-Morpork, myself." He paused, then added helpfully, "We killed our king off a long time ago."

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Willow said. "Um, please don't kill Peter? He's a very good king, honest."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

The dog chuckled wheezily. "Didn't say I killed 'im. What would I do, gnaw his ankles until he died?"

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"I felt it wise not to underestimate," Willow said. "But I'm glad that you wouldn't regardless. Maybe I could introduce you sometime. I'm sure he'd love to meet you."

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

Robin had a sack full of cookies that he'd handwavily bought at J,GOB. "Hi!" he waved to the doggie. "Would you like a cookie?"

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"WOOF!"

A very happy doggie turned to see who had spoken. It did NOT -- and this can't be stressed enough -- did NOT wag its tail. But it was very obviously happy nonetheless.

Until it saw Robin.

"What the devil are YOU... Uh, I mean, woof?"

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

"Oh it's okay, I know lots of dogs that talk." Robin assured it. "Though they were all Muppets. Oh, and I'm a frog."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Of course you're a frog, it's obvious you're a bloody frog," Gaspode grumbled. "You're just a weird-lookin one. (Sorry, no 'ffense.) So... How 'bout that biscuit, then?"

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

"None taken." Robin said. Lots of folks thought Muppets were weird looking. "Here you go." It was a sugar cookie, and he held it out for Gaspode. "I'm Robin."

[woofbloodywoof.livejournal.com]

"Gaspode," he said, as he took the cookie. "What kind of town is this, anyway?"

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

"It's kind of strange." Robin said thoughtfully. "There's people here from different dimensions, planets, and time periods."