fandomtownies | The Perk, Monday Morning 5/19

Reno. The kickass. Action Figure. Was dragging. A laptop. In the case. Across town. In little. Spurts and. Heaves.

Also, he was cursing himself for not picking up a pair of rollerskates or something, and he was in need of a cigarette, and he was cranky. Even so, he was making pretty good progress, rght up until he made it to the door.

That would be when he started throwing pebbles and hollering. Stupid stupid doors and stupid island and stupid everything and he was eight inches tall and he hated everything damn it!!!

It was entirely possible that the fuss could be heard from inside. Totally.

Murdock wondered what all the noise was coming from outside. Maybe it was the squirrels launching a nut attack against the coffee shop.

Opening the door, he blinked in surprise at the sight of a doll with some sort of briefcase in tow. "Reno?"

"Anyone ever mention how weird this island is?" Reno grumbled as he attempted to lug the laptop into the coffee shop. "Been like this since Saturday, yo." He paused and looked up, ~~waaaaay up~~, at Murdock. "But I showed up."

This was said as though it was some sort of triumph. Which it was. That was a long way to haul a giant computer, dammit.

"I was a small flyin' horse," he offered. "So I think I kinda got the idea of weirdness."

He watched Reno trying to haul the laptop in. "You need a hand with that?"

"No." Pause. "Yes. It's yours anyhow," Reno replied, stepping away from the laptop case. "Picked it up on Friday, before the weirdness struck. Which is good, because draggin' this thing across the island twice would'a sucked."

It would have sucked a lot.

"Dude, you could've called me and I'd have come gotten it." He leaned down and picked it up easily. "But thanks, man. I really appreciate it this."

He glanced back at the table he'd claimed. "I'm right over here." It wasn't that far away, but..."Um, you need a lift?" It sounded crazy to ask that, but he didn't want Reno to have to climb furniture just so they could talk.

Reno's phone came up to his armpits when it was opened. Which was why he hadn't bothered trying to give anyone a call. He valued his sanity to a certain extent.

He looked at the table and frowned a little. That was a long, long way up. And he could make it. Perhaps. Maybe. If he was just tiny and not plastic. But plastic wasn't nearly as dexterous as good old fashioned flesh and blood, so maybe it would be best to just let Murdock play elevator, instead.

"A lift'd probably be for the best if it ain't any trouble," he decided, giving a little nod. "Last thing I need is to fall on the way up and find out if I got any detachable parts or whatever."

"Yah, that'd probably stink," he agreed, carefully scooping Reno up and placing him on top of the table. "At least I could manage to get around as a tiny horse since I had the wings. I can't imagine what it would've been like without them."

He opened the case and pulled out the laptop, eyeing it for a minute. "Do you think they have smaller coffee mugs in this joint? I could grab some for ya if you want." He fumbled with the computer for a few seconds, "I think, if I remember correctly, Charlotte's computer had a button somewhere...oh! There it is." He smirked at Reno, "I managed to get some basic prep in."

Reno settled himself down on the tabletop and grinned faintly.

"Findin' the on button's one of the most important parts," he informed Murdock, giving a satisfied sort of nod. "I'm good without any coffee for now, though I'd kill for a smoke." He watched the laptop thoughtfully, and then shrugged. "Okay, so, hit the button and let it start up, and we can go from there, yo."

It was fortunate that Reno didn't have to be his usual height to talk someone through running a laptop.

"Can't help you with the smoke part, buddy. 'Sides," he eyed Reno from a corner of his eye, "ain't you a bit young to be doin' that kind of stuff? Terribly not good for ya."

Murdock did as he was instructed and not at all impressed by the start-up sequence. He'd seen that once already. Not terribly interesting the second time around. "Let's see, Charlotte said somethin' about folders and Eeemail." He cocked an eyebrow at Reno. "How do I do the mail thingy bit?"

Reno gave a shrug of his shoulders, pulling himself back to his feet.

"There's plenty I'm probably too young for, yo. Doesn't mean I didn't do it anyhow." He wandered up to the laptop, stepping up onto the edge to get a decent look at the screen. "Okay, it should be rigged up for wireless already, so I won't bother confusin' you with that part until later. You know how to use the touchpad, there?" He pointed at the handy little touchpad square at the base of the keyboard. "Plastic don't work on it, so I can't demonstrate, but it's easy enough to figure out."

"Yah, I reckon there is that." Last week's class gave him a large dose of just what some of his students had been doing. He wasn't sure he really wanted to find out what Reno's resume looked like.

"I think I got that part," he grinned, tapping around on the pad. "I should be able to figure out a lot of the things on my own, I'm a pretty quick learner. I just really need to know where all the different bits are."

Oh, good. A quick learner was the best sort of student.

"Okay, then you wanna choose this icon, right here." He pointed at the internet browser icon that was sitting on the desktop. "That'll give you access to the internet, yo. From there, we can set you up an e-mail account."

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Sometime later that morning ~~after Murdock & Reno are done ending the world with laptop 101~~, Dōjima wandered into the Perk to stare blearily at the menu. Timezone changes sucked, and she was in desperate need of caffeine.

Reno was in desperate need of booze and caffeine and maybe a Remedy item would cure his action-figure-ness but he had left them in the dorms and for as much as he adored stairs, four floors of them were out of the question in this state.

So he was going to settle for standing on the counter and staring at the menu and wondering if they had action figure-sized serving portions. For the squirrels, of course.

The giant Doji looming nearby did not go unnoticed. He was inching off in the other direction the moment he noticed her. Which lead to-- oh. The edge. Right, then.

"Morning," he grumped, turning his attention back to the menu. Very good. Coffee. Everything was perfectly normal, here.

"Hey Red," she replied automatically, turning to look over her shoulder. "You..huh?" Okay no one there. Weird.

Shrugging, she turned back to the menu. "Must be hearing things. Loosin' it, Dōjima-girl, seriously loosing it."

Reno eyed her for a moment, then gave a shrug of his shoulders.

"Yep. You totally lost it, Doji. And now you're insane and hearin' sexy redheads in random places, yo. You gotta pull yourself together."

He proceeded to take a seat on the counter and grin. If he had to be eight inches tall and made of plastic, then he was going to at the very least have fun with it.

Good thing he enjoyed this so darn much, since this time she actually managed to lock on the direction the voice was coming from.

And stare.

"Oh god." Eyes wide, she suddenly sat down onto the floor to look up at the, um, toy?!?! Reno on the counter. "That's it. I'm never going anywhere with that boy ever again. I couldn't handle the stress, and now there's a toy talking to me."

Reno seemed actually quite pleased at this.

"Oh, good, you ain't callin' me a doll!" And then a rueful sort of scowl crossed his lips. "Everyone else has been since Saturday. I'm an action figure, zoto. There's a damn difference."

He looked up at the menu and crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

"You know the problem with coffee shop menus? There ain't nearly enough booze on 'em."

"Dolls have soft hair, yours is all plastic," she replied automatically, shaking her head. "Can you even drink if you're a toy? How the hell does that work?"

There was a pause, and she eyed him warily. "You are Red, hai? This is not a joke? If this is a joke, you will find yourself in a world of pain later. I am not in the mood."

"I've been eight inches tall and made of plastic for three freakin' days now. If this is a joke, I'm already payin' for it," Reno replied dryly. "I think I can drink, anyhow. Which'd be a hell of a lot more helpful if my bottles weren't all bigger than I am. You know how hard it is to open a bottle when the cap is bigger than your head?"

He supposed she probably didn't.

"Hell of a weekend all around, I'm guessin'?"

"I'll open the bottle if I can have some," Yurika said dryly. "If I put some in a thimble, would that be the right size for you? I don't want to give you alcohol poisoning, I doubt the clinic can treat you as you are."

Hrm, avoidance, or ranting? Choices choices. "I don't think I'd mind being a toy," she admitted, quickly placing her coffee order. "This was not my first choice of weekend, no."

"My liver's made of plastic," Reno stated with a shrug. "If we can find some of those travel-sized bottles, I'd be good to go. Hell, they'd come up to my waist, I'd be set for the day. You get me one of those, and I'll let you take your pick of whatever's in my stash back at the cabins, yo."

He figured that this was very, very fair, all things considered.

"Didn't see you about all weekend. You missed some of the weirdest shit."

"Oooohhhh...story time!" Dōjima held out a hand for Reno to step on if he wanted a lift to the table. She wasn't just going to reach out and pick him up, that would be rude.

"I've been gone since Thursday afternoon, and got in late last night. What'd I miss?" Temporary avoidance for the win!

Story time, Reno could live with. And the lift was much appreciated. Falling from the counter to the floor would have sucked. So he stepped onto the offered hand.

"Saturday was the big bout of crazy," he said, smoothly. "Most of the people on the island turned into ponies. And not, like, normal little ponies like you see at the carnival or whatever. We're talkin' brightly colored talkin' ponies with glittery manes and wings and horns an' shit. With pictures on their asses."

Reno already had a picture on his ass. He was thankful that he didn't have to become a pony for that to be made apparent to the island. Really, being an action figure didn't seem so bad, in retrospect.