fandomtownies | Pixie Dust, Tuesday, Aug. 12

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Pixie Dust, Tuesday, Aug. 12

By some small miracle, Romeo did not get lost on his way to work.

He got lost inside the store instead. It was an odd feeling to go to the office to sort the mail and find yourself at the shoe display for no apparent reason, and the fact everything in the store was individually swathed in bubble wrap made it even harder for him to tell where he was.

His girlfriend the rabbit seemed to be laughing at him. "I should like to see you navigate," he told her, used by now to talking to a bunny.

Dojima giggled a wee rabbit giggle, then selected a bubblewrapped sweater as her temporary nest and curled up on it.

Pixie Dust was open.

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If you can find anything.

If you can find him.

Bunny critiques of your fashion sense are no charge.

Rikku was going to walk up to the counter-thing and talk to Romeo, but she couldn't seem to find it. What the heck? It wasn't like the store was even that big. But she'd start walking one direction and end up right back where she started.

Finally, she plopped down right where she was -- swimsuits and beachwear, it looked like -- and started pulling bubble wrap from a bikini. At lesat she could be useful. Wouldn't that be a novelty?

A wee white bunny roused herself from her nap and hopped over.

Hi! Hi Rikku! Didn't she want to quit playing with the silly plastic stuff and pet the cute rabbit? And, maybe, did she have a treat?

"Hi, Dojima," Rikku smiled, scooping up the bunny and settling her on Rikku's lap. "Who's such a cute little bunny? Did you want your ears scritched? I bet you want your ears scritched."

This was a rhetorical question, as she was already scritching Dojima's ears.

It also gave her a few seconds to dig through her pouch and see if she had any snacks that were bunny-appropriate with her, before she got the wee bunny's hopes up.

She did! Dojima wanted her ears scritched! Rikku was an awesome friend and she was just going to wiggle a little bit to show that.

And then -- Romeo could have sworn there wasn't a Rikku there a moment before. But he hadn't been looking for bathing suits, either, and it seemed he had found both.

He settled on the floor near them. "Good day," he said, a little tentative. He wasn't sure what kind of mood Rikku would be in.

Edited 2008-08-12 15:24 (UTC)

Rikku was gonna be an even better friend in a second, when Dojima realized Rikku had found some carrot sticks. Which she didn't remember putting in her leg-pouch, but there you go.

"Check that out," Rikku grinned, pulling a few out and holding them flat on her hand. The one that wasn't scratching Dojima's ears. She was all about the bunny-spoiling, today.

She looked up when she heard Romeo's voice. "Oh!" she said quickly. "Sorry, I -- was looking for you, and kinda found her, and couldn't find anything else. How ... how are you?"

She was trying to sound like her usual, chipper self, but her eyes were still red-rimmed. Too much crying, not enough sleep.

Carrot stick! Carrot sticks were fantastic and Dojima was going to try to nuzzle Rikku's hand in thanks before chomping down.

Meanwhile, Romeo shrugged a little. "Well enough," he said, uneasily. "Reno visited me last night. Are you all right?"

he could see she wasn't, but it was only polite to ask.

Reno went ... she should have expected that. She couldn't imagine how their conversation had gone. How much Reno had even admitted to.

"I don't know," she said, concentrating on Dojima and feeding her the carrot sticks. Easier than looking up. "We ... we had a huge fight. You probably heard that. I told him ... it doesn't matter what I told him. So I'm awful and miserable except maybe it's ... good that I ... finally get it. That I think we might be over. If that's all it was. He kept saying it, and ... I just didn't want to hear it, you know?"

"He said you walked away, Rikku," Romeo said as gently as he could manage, reaching a hand out to touch Dojima.

Then: "He loves you even if he can't give you forever. But he thinks ...." He sighed. "He thinks you deserve better." Which Romeo did not exactly agree with Reno about.

She glanced up sharply, eyes flashing. So that was what he --

Still playing the victim. Stupid bastard Turk.

"I've never asked for forever," she snapped. "I've never asked for anything. The first time I kissed him, he said 'I don't date.' The first time we ... you-know, he looked at me weird the next morning and told me girls didn't usually sleep over. I said 'girlfriend' once by accident and he looked like I punched him. This isn't about his job. That's just his favorite excuse."

Romeo was wondering if Rikku and Reno had been in the same conversation.

"He seems to think it very much is, though."

"It's not," she said, still fuming. "He keeps saying we're just for right now, it's temporary, he can't promise anything, and I get that. Except for how he panics when I use the word date. That's not his job. That's ... so I just asked him. If we somehow had a chance at it, you know, would he even want forever?"

And he'd stared back at her, confused and vaguely horrified. Why would I?

Her eyes dropped down to the bunny again. Because she wasn't tearing up. Damn the stupid Turk anyways.

"There's a word for the girl you take to bed but wouldn't ever marry."

"No one thinks that of you," Romeo murmured. It had clearly been a hell of a conversation, and he looked at Dojima (who was resolutely interested in her carrot) to see if she had anything to add.

She didn't, the lucky rabbit, so:

"... I think I need you to start at the beginning," he finally decided. "Because right now it feels like you're telling me about completely different arguments. And I'm not sure what either has to do with my proposing except Reno said it did."

Except Reno thought that, she thought. Rikku took a deep breath, trying to find a place to start somewhere out of the maelstrom.

"We were discussing ... you know. You and Dojima. And he got all weird." Commitment-talk always made him wig out like that. It was fun. "Like, why would he do that? It's not gonna help anything. And just being ... you know. Weird."

He was a boy. He had to be familiar with boy-weirdness.

"So then we were bickering and he was all 'oh, so this is about us' and I said maybe it was and I said ... I said ... 'look, just admit it. You'd never marry.' And he stared back at me ..."

He hadn't stared at the ground and reminded her that he could die soon. He hadn't told her that the future was uncertain and he didn't want to promise anything. He'd. He'd looked at her ...

"... And he said, 'why would I?'"

Just like that.

Edited 2008-08-12 22:57 (UTC)

Romeo did know boy weirdness, though his own weirdness was of a very different form.

Why would I? He weighed the words, imagining them in Reno's voice.

"Do people marry, in his home?" he offered, as if the words were fragile. "Maybe it's just something he never thought of, especially with his job."

"I ..." She looked over at Romeo, confused. "It's marriage. People get married. Why wouldn't they? That's ... he didn't say, I can't, with my job. He said ... 'why would I?' Because ... us, and Ruba, with her long red curls ... those aren't a good reason. Those don't ... count for anything."

Either Reno thought Ruba was never real at all, or he wouldn't marry her even if she had their child, and she didn't know which of those hurt more.

"Different cultures," Romeo said. "Your people get married without a church, unless I mistake you, and at home there is no such thing. Perhaps in his home marriage is hardly known at all." He shook it off, knowing he was being too academic to suit Rikku's needs.

"I don't know, Rikku," he admitted. "I don't think he would for a second say you didn't count." And in his own case, he didn't see Dojima's refusal as having the first thing to do with Kazuki; that was another lifetime, but that too seemed unhelpful.

"Nonbelievers ... can't get married, in your home?" Rikku asked, scritching behind Dojima's ears and looking up again. That seemed ... cruel. To tell the Al Bhed they couldn't marry, if they weren't willing to accept Yevon to do it.

"I ... I did say I deserved better. Except ... I said that I ... I deserved better than to just be someone's ... fling. Someone's, you're good enough for now, until I get bored. I deserved someone who wanted more than that, and he ... he said I was right, I did. And. That's when I left."

The bunny appeared to be nipping at her fingers and glaring at her. Maybe because she was out of carrots? Maybe the bunny thought she was being stupid.

So did she, lately.

"I don't know what to think any more," she said. "I just don't."

"I don't know anyone in Verona who isn't Catholic," Romeo said honestly, flatly. "I assume they could do something at City Hall. We don't burn atheists or Jews, and there must be some of each. Just ... it wouldn't be the norm."

He went quiet after that. "And what he thinks is that you asked him to give up the Turks for you, and he could not. And when he told you that, you left." Another pause. "Are you sure you were talking to each other?"

Maybe they'd gotten so lost they'd found alternate selves to fight with. That made as much sense as anything.

She laughed, almost bitterly, at that. "I wouldn't ask that," she said darkly. "He's theirs, first. And second. And third. And if he has any scraps left at forty-seven, maybe they're mine. Unless the Turks call back again and decide they want spots forty-seven down to eighty-five, and then I'd get bumped again."

She'd even forgotten to scritch, now, lost in her own thoughts. "He could leave. He said no. He told them he didn't feel like going back. And I asked if that meant ... that he was saying no. That he wanted to leave them. No, he said, it's who he is, and he doesn't have anything if he's not theirs. I guess I don't count, there. So he'd rather die young for a bunch of evil government murderers than consider having forever with me. That's ..."

That was how little she meant, to him.

Romeo faltered. He didn't want to say what Reno said would happen if he left; that seemed cruel.

He took up Rikku's rhythm with the scritching, instead. "I think he thinks he has to. I don't know he sees it as a choice he can make." Impatiently, he shoved his hair out of his eyes. "Could you be happy if forever were never an option?"

"It's not ..." Rikku looked away, taking another deep breath. She needed them, today. "He's always said. That he can't promise anything. I was fine with that. I'm his, until he has to go. But what he said ... even if he could get it, he doesn't want forever. Not with me. I can't do that. I can't be ... the one who's just good enough for right now. I can't."

Dojima looked interested in what they were saying, and Romeo let out a long, low breath.

He still doubted that was what Reno had meant, but it was certainly what Rikku had heard.

"You shouldn't have to be," he said. "I don't understand how he can love you and not want you to have that chance of forever."

"Maybe he doesn't," she said, shrugging. "Maybe he -- maybe I just heard what I wanted to. I don't know what I -- I can't --"

Dammit. She put her hand over her eyes and tried not to start crying right in the middle of the stupid bikini section. She was doing pretty badly at it.

A crying girl. Romeo's palms were starting to sweat and he felt vaguely itchy.

So he reached to pull Rikku into the tightest hug he could manage.

She squeezed back, trying hard not to smush Dojima or get his shirt too wet.

Okay, she was doing way better with not smushing Dojima than she was with his shirt.

"S-sorry?" she managed. "Being stupid. I just."

"You're sad," he said, as if to say that made it all okay. He wasn't letting go of her, either.

His shirt would dry. The bunny was squirming as if to say she'd be fine.

"I don't have any advice," he whispered. "Other than I think you need to talk to him."

Romeo-hugs were very reassuring things. She was going to remember that, next time she was feeling like this.

"You really think ..." She swallowed past a lump of nerves and fear, not wanting to put her thoughts into words. "You really think he's ... I mean, that he's not ... ?"

Dojima chittered an answer -- or possibly a request to be put down -- at her.

"Not what?" Romeo asked, utterly clueless.

Edited 2008-08-13 01:54 (UTC)

Rikku wriggled away, reluctantly. There were bunnies who needed to be un-smushed. She scritched Dojima's ears again to show there were no hard feelings.

"You know," she said softly. "You really think he's ... not ... meaning what I ... think he's meaning."

Romeo hesitated. "I think he wouldn't have been practically crying at me for half an hour last night if he just wanted a girl to fuck and dump," he said.

As bluntly as he could manage.

Reno? Had been?

And Romeo using language like that?

She was going to stare for a few seconds, here.

"... I need to talk to him," she managed.

Romeo's vocabulary might have expanded a bit in the last eight months, yes.

"You should do that," he said.

Where you could, in theory, find yourself.

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Pixie Dust, Tuesday, Aug. 12

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