Atlas Gym, Sunday

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Facebook was evil. Just when Barney thought he was finished with things like Oregon Trail, he got sucked into this Make Me A Celebrity thing.

But damn if he wasn't going to get to the top. Besides, he was making a killing at Pile of Balls.

Heee! Balls!

Atlas Gym was open.

[We're ocd free today, whee!]

Comments

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Entertain me," Robin demanded, bypassing all the boring gym equipment and stuff and just finding Barney in the office.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Only if you can tell me when S-S-H became a word," Barney complained, turning away from the computer.

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"When you're drunk and want someone to shut up?" she suggested.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"That would explain why they don't accept S-H-H," Barney mused. "What up, Scherbatskinator? The Mountie not man enough for you today?"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Oh, he's plenty man for me. But you can't spend all day in bed," she assured him, wandering in. "I have a favor to ask, actually."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Oh?" Barney was curious now. "Tell me it involves lassos! Oh, or better yet, lasers!"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

She peered at him. "Why lassos?"

Lasers, oddly enough, she could see.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Robin. "Duh, ropes and people getting tied up is always a good time."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Actually, yeah," she said, and winced. "I, um. Need to borrow from your...library."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"My personal library?" Barney was so intrigued now. "You have my full attention."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"An acquaintance of ours has never viewed pornography, as you are aware," she said as delicately as she could. "I need a...um, sampling. Oh, and if you still have the Canadian stuff from when you thought Robin Sparkles was my porn name, that'd be useful."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Barney laughed rather loudly. "You and Fraser want Canadian pornography? Say that a little louder for the squirrels, please."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"He doesn't know!" she insisted, shaking her head. "Shhh! No, Deadpool and I are inducting him and I figured, you know, he might be a little more receptive if it's something familiar. This isn't for our...private use. Gross. And we don't need that."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Now Barney was staring. "You, Deadpool, and Fraser are watching porn? I'm so there! Can I bring Biff?"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"I don't know. He might clue in if there's too many people there," she said worriedly. "If I can make it seem like we're just having friends over, randomly and innocently, I'll call you. Oh, and I need a lot of girl-on-girl stuff. He so has a thing about it. Or at least I think he does, since his eyes always get all glossy when I mention things of that nature."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, I have just the thing!" Barney tapped a finger to his lips in thought. "What about sisters? Twins, even?"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"I think incest would make him concerned," she said after a moment. "You have to remember who we're dealing with."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"They're twins!" Barney scoffed. "That's practically the same person!"

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"They're related," she said, shaking her head. "Dude, he'd like, track down the filmmakers and turn all cop on us."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Oh Scherbatsky, what happened to you hooking up with toothless hockey players?" Barney wondered. "At least they couldn't arrest us for having fun."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"All my hockey players had teeth," she protested. "And hey, Ted would be all unfun about it, too, you know. Maybe not to that degree."

Yeah, not to that degree at all. But she was trying.

"And Derek probably would've been anti-twin porn! He would've just...um, bought out the porn company, probably, and put them out of business."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"Robin, your men are so lacking in the joy of life and porn," Barney said, shaking his head. "I'll hook you up, but you'll owe me."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"Or will I?" she asked, raising a brow. "I thought you owed me one for...something." She forgot what.

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"No," Barney would remember if he owed Robin. "There's nothing in my PDA telling me to avoid you."

[canadianpopstar.livejournal.com]

"I'll figure something out," she sighed. "You're not getting a copy of Sandcastles, though."

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

"I'll always have the tape of our spawn singing it." Barney smiled sweetly before singsonging, "It was the greatest week and a half. Of my liiife."