fandomtownies | Wellspring Arms & Meditation Center [Sunday]

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Wellspring Arms & Meditation Center [Sunday]

"Mwahahahahahahaha!" Biff cackled as he strode through the store in his too-tight leather pants and especially evil eyepatch. He kept switching the eye it was covering, trying to figure out which side made him look more attractive.

"My plan is finally, finally working! After minutes--nay, hours!--of...planning--" Biff didn't have the most extensive vocabulary--"I have finally made Barney cry like he made me cry the day he ate all of the Fruit Loops!"

This store was great for monologuing!

"He will rue the day, oh yes, yes he will!"

The soundtrack cued up dramatically.

The Wellsprings Arms was open.

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Bum a smoke! Admire the leather! Tell him which eye looks better covered by an eyepatch!

"Biff!" Nathan declared, dramatically. He flounced into the room, thundering down the stairs. "My sister has left for space!"

"How terrible!" Biff said. "Is she hot?"

"I have been told that she is," Nathan announced. After all, it wouldn't hurt to help further the many incest rumors about his family. "But now she's gone. For space. Where my grandfather has died. He was a pirate."

Biff tried to look suitably sad at that news.

It...didn't really work.

"I'm sorry for your loss?"

"Well, he was a horrible father," Nathan said, sniffling. Then the tears started to cascade down his cheeks. "Although not as horrible as mine!"

Great. Another crier. "What did he do to you?" he asked, trying to hide his boredom.

Nathan sniffled again. Never mind the fact he was already crying. "He tried to kill me," he said, "Over a baby!"

"You and your father were fighting over a baby?" Man, that was screwed up. "I've father a couple of them recently, so I have a spare if you need some..."

"But would it be a magic baby?" Nathan demanded to know, "Would it be a savior of all my kind? I don't think so."

"...probably not," Biff finally admitted, "but it'd be hot like me. Don't you wish your baby was hot like me?"

"She'd already probably wind up being a Phoenix baby," Nathan mused, "I think that's all the 'hot' she needs."

Biff had no idea what Nathan was talking about, so he nodded along. "I like Arizona, too."

Commune with the gods of something!

If you have permission, natch.

I'm sadly OOC for much of the daytime, but Evil!Biff is here for great SP justice.

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Wellspring Arms & Meditation Center [Sunday]

Talk to Biff

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The Mediation Room

The Shooting Range

OOC