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Atlas Gym, Sunday

Now that Vala knew his secret, Barney realized it was only a matter of time before she told Biff and they sold it to the Skywalkers for publication in their newspapers. That would mean the end to Barney's life waking up in bed with supermodels like Tink. He would do anything to keep the empire he'd built over the last dozen years as a man. It had taken a lot of hard work and really effective purgery strategies to get Barney where he was today.

Barnabus Stinson would not be taken down. He sat at his desk, looking out over the massive machine known as Atlas Gym and plotted the removal of his enemies. If only there was a convenient killer-for-hire, he'd so set up a hit.

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Barney is far too important to notice the little people.

Like normal, Rodney was doing his daily workout and arguing aloud the entire time.

"Meredith, you know there are more important things I could be doing right now," he huffed. "I'm so close to a breakthrough on the ~~blah blah technobabble blah~~ device."

Straightening his posture, Rodney's breathing suddenly became even as Meredith took over their body. "So? It's not like you'll be making any breakthroughs at all if you drop dead from a heart attack," she pointed out to her other half in a slightly higher pitch.

"It wouldn't hurt to skip just one day," he wheedled.

"Oh, no! That's how it starts, but before you know it, you're skipping weeks at a time and cutting out entire exercises and suddenly," she snapped their fingers for emphasis, "heart attack! All because you wanted to slack off just a little bit. I know how you work, buster," she waved a finger at their reflection in the mirror.

"Fine," he grunted. "But, I'm going to drink twice as much coffee when we're done," he added defiantly.

"Whatever makes you happy, Rodney," Meredith rolled their eyes and continued her workout.

Hopefully you've come for the position Barney is now advertising on Facebook: sniper.

Biff oozed into the room. "Helllllllo, loser."

"Biff," Barney said, sucking in a breath and glaring at the evil man's goatee. "I thought I smelled you coming."

"It's the Axe body spray," Biff said, nodding. "The ladies love it."

"I hear it's a winner with the cheaters and thieves," Barney deadpanned, still unsure how he was going to take Biff out for his treachery.

"I get a special cheaters and thieves discount," Biff said, stroking his evil beard evilly.

"Go away, Biff. I don't have time for your games," Barney said, turning away. "You can have the cheating whore. I have Tink now and don't think you can ruin that again by telling her I'm sleeping with Rachel because that bitch left town."

"Does she know you're only with her because she's an easy lay?" Biff asked. "Oooh, or are you out of money again?"

Barney glared, "I love Tink! I always have and I always will! You're just jealous because what we have is true!"

Biff snorted. "She can't be that true," he commented. "I've read the comments on the men's room wall in Caritas."

"I wrote some of those," Barney muttered, standing and moving over to the convenient bar, covered in glass decanters of amber liquids where he poured himself a scotch.

"Was yours the limerick that didn't rhyme?" Biff asked.

"Are you foreign? It totally rhymed!" So long as you pronounced the vowels like a proper New Yorker.

"I am definitely not foreign!" Biff cried.

God forbid someone check into his immigration status...

Barney raised an eyebrow. "You sound sort of foreign..."

"It's all an act!" Biff replied. "I was born in Peoria, Illinois on the Fourth of July. My middle name is Yankee Doodle."

He...might have overplayed that slightly.

Finally seeing a way he could take down Biff, Barney sneered. "And my name's Old MacDonald. Inmigración!"

"You'll never catch me!" Biff cried, strapping on his eye patch. "I am a master of disguise!"

I don't know. My eyes and my brain hurt from the crazy XD

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Atlas Gym, Sunday

Work Out

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OOC