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The Park, Sunday Afternoon

The nice thing about being the boss of some place was that he could take days off whenever the fuck he wanted. And today, randomly, he wanted a day off. Loki didn't have anything particularly pressing to do but he felt he'd earned some time outside. He'd worked hard.

His definition of hard was probably a lot better than other peoples.

Anyway. It was cold but it didn't bother him. One perk of the fucking job.

So, there he was, stretched out on one of the benches, an arm tucked behind his head and sunglasses obscuring his eyes. He could be asleep but he most likely wasn't. He was just enjoying his scheduled day off. He'd make up the time tomorrow.

And if anyone needed an apartment, well, they could sleep in the tent on the fucking roof. That wasn't there. Oh well.

[Public place, open post, go for it!]

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Minsc and Boo were out and about, mostly to check up on the ducks, and, of course, couldn't not take notice of Sir Loki on the bench, which caused Minsc to find it necessary to remark to the hamster, "Noooo, Boo, I know it must seem tempting, but I cannot allow you to go up and bite someone's nose when they are laid prostrate and prone."

Of course, if Boo really made the attempt, Minsc would not likely stop him.

Of course, Boo was not making any attempts at anything except maybe breathing, and that he did mostly without any thought.

Edited 2008-11-23 21:30 (UTC)

"He bites my nose off, I'll bites your off," Loki said casually without really moving. "Fair trade, right?"

"Oh!" Minsc observed. "So you are awake. And here I was just thinking that you have poor taste in places to nap, Sir Loki; one never knows what can happen when one is in the open, and enemies do so like to waylay the unexpecting the most."

"I think I'd be able to handle myself but thanks for the concern," he said and looked over at him. "What're you doing out here anyway? I thought it'd be too fucking cold for most people."

"I can't spend too much time indoors," Minsc explained, "without feeling restless. Cold is no concern to an adventurer and this is nothing compared to the Dales."

There was a slight pause.

"Besides, Boo wanted to see the ducks."

"Well, getting restless is one thing I can agree," Loki said and slid up the sunglasses. "Does the hamster actually tell you these things or do you just make educated guesses?"

One couldn't really have even called them educated if they got right down to it.

"Boo and I," Minsc explained, "have a special bond cultivated after many years of working together, so that we understand each other on a deep level without much communication at all."

Edited 2008-11-23 23:30 (UTC)

"Gotta say," Loki said, shaking his head, "that I still don't fucking get that. But everyone needs a friend, right? Where'd you two meet?"

"I purchased him off of a poor sod who did not understand the value of the creature in which he was trying to pawn," Minsc explained. "It was a very good thing that I came along, or all of Boo's talents would be wasting away as some lady's pampered pet!"

He sniffed, indignantly, as if he would never think of pampering Boo, despite that fact that he spoiled that hamster more than milk left out in the Rashemi steppes.

"And what the fuck does Boo do besides talk to you?" Loki asked. "I mean, does he sing and dance? Do magic tricks? Can he recite the alphabet backwards? Even I can't do that."

"Depends on which alphabet," Minsc said, a bit haughtily for the hamster. "Not only that, but he, as one of the Realms' only giant miniature space hamsters, contains in his giant miniature body endless galactic knowledge that most people can never dream of understanding."

"All right, so he's some space hamster supercomputer," Loki said, not sounding entirely like he believed this, "and no one's looking for him? I don't know how these things work but usually he'd have people hunting his little ass down. And maybe laughing evilly while stroking pointy goatees."

There was a certain level of logic to that which paused Minsc, especially since he was from a world quite wrought with such convenient evil-telling devices. And then he let out a burst of laughter.

"A true testament, then," he declared, "to my fine job of guarding him! His kind of but legends where I am from, and I have a mighty reputation in certain areas of the Sword Coast."

"Or this place is really fucking off the map," he said and shook his head. "Someone finds that hamster here, he's really gotta be something special then for someone to come to this backwater place. What the hell am I saying, everyone and their fucking brother's coming here."

"It does seem to have a very high interdimentional traffic," Minsc observed. "Why, with all the strange places people here come from, Boo almost really is just a regular old hamster on the grand scale of things!"

That was probably as close to a sane comment about Boo one would ever get out of Minsc ever.

"Strange is right," he agreed with a slight nod. "I can't say I've ever met a guy who carries around a hamster like it's a fucking gold coin or some shit like that and I think I'm open minded."

Or something like it.

"I guess you'll be ready if anything ever does attack this place, then, won't you? Considering you gotta hamster to protect."

"Not just a hamster!" Minsc remarked. "But the whole island! I would hardly do my sword and my tattoos justice if I were to think of only Boo in such a crisis!"

"Are you some sort of otherwordly policeman?" Loki asked. "I keep running into the cops lately. This island seems to attract them like bees to fucking honey."

"Mercenary," Minsc corrected with a nod, "and self-proclaimed buttkicker for goodness!"

"Butt kicker for goodness," he repeated, blinking. "Fucking really?"

Minsc was absolutely glowing with pride.

"Really, really."

"Interesting title," Loki commented. "You got a badge?"

There was a pause.

Minsc pointed to his tattoo. "This?" he offered.

And then to this scar. "And this." And this scar. "And this."

And then a dent in his armour. "This." Another. "This."

There was another pause.

"There's another one I can think of, but I do not think you'd want to see that one."

Nor did he want to show Sir Loki.

"Yeah, let's not show that to me," he said and waved a hand. "Scars are your badges? Very poetic. What the hell are you doing here? Doesn't seem the place for a guy of your...butt kicking nature."

"Retirement," Minsc answered. "There comes a point in a man's life where it is not so easy to go around and just hit things upon their head's with a sword."

That was...the simple answer, anyway, and the only answer he'd disclose to Sir Loki, that was certain.

"You're telling me," he scoffed and shook his head. "Sword, huh? You just got more interesting than before."

Minsc's head tilted. "Are you a fan of weaponry, Sir Loki?"

"Could say that," he said, nodding. "Not all weapons. Some are way too fucking clumsy but swords? Swords are a specialty of mine."

"Over the years," Minsc nodded, "I have cultivated a great many skills with the sword and the bow, although I admit to preferring the sword much more. Much better to cleave and hack apart your enemies with!"

"Hell yes," he said, laughing now. "It takes fucking skill to use a sword. You can't just pick it up and know how to use it. No one ever believes me when I tell them that. I've gotten used to some of the more modern weapons but I pay cash money for a sword."

"I have held a sword in these hands since they were large enough to hold one," Minsc admitted, "but I have seen many a poor fool who thought himself capable being ripped limb from limb by cackling gnolls all because he thought once he had a sword, he was a warrior."

"I'm surprised we haven't met before," Loki said, half smiling. "In another life, not like recently since I know we have. I've known some really good swordsman in my time. And some fucking terrible ones."

[Hardcore fell asleep last night! Sorry!]

"Never know the terrible ones for too long," Minsc said, with a bit of a dark chuckle.

"Yeah, they tended to not be terrible for too long," he agreed. "Mostly because they tended not to fucking exist for too long. God, I miss swords."

"I have a small collection with me at my place of residence," Minsc told him. "If you truly miss them, I've set up a nice little hacking things up room. Inanimate thing, of course. Usually, I just sell them, since there's no need for more than about three swords on any quests, but my questing days are about over."

"You have a hacking things up room?" Loki asked, amused and...impressed. He was going to change his initial opinion of Minsc. "It's called that?"

Minsc took a moment to recall if the room ever had a more official title than that, but that was all he ever called it, so he nodded. "Yes, because that is what it is."

"Yeah, I get that," he said and laughed. "I've just never heard of a room named something so...obvious. Most people think up pretentious names for things like that."

"Well," Minsc reasoned, "you dine in a dining room. You have a bed in a bedroom. You live in a living room. Why not hack things up in a Hacking Things Up room?"

"No, no, it makes perfect sense," Loki agreed with a laugh. "People just tend not to use the words hacking up to describe a room in their house. Humans are fucking strange."

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The Park, Sunday Afternoon

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