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Luke's Diner, Tuesday, 1/27

"Ah-hah! Hello, peasants!" Because anyone working in a kitchen was a peasant. They just were.

"I have come to rule over this diner of Luke's this day!" His sleeves seemed oddly puffier. "Take heed of my presence and all shall be well!"

The kitchen staff stared.

"Indeed! It is true! Lacey of Luke's Diner has given me this job so that I may purchase goods! You shall find me a competent and fair ruler but-" he held up his hand "-if I learn that any of you are in league with the evil hag that took my Giselle, I shall have to dispatch you at once!"

A beat.

"Now, there is something about a menu, yes? Ah-hah! Never fear! Just show me where to write this menu so that others may partake of the fiiiiine fare this place provides!"

Specials of the Day!
Beef!
Pork!
Duck!
Pheasant!
Ogre!
Blackberry Pie!

The kitcen staff just stared.

Luke's is open!

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If he overwhelms you AT ALL!

Edited 2009-01-27 14:36 (UTC)

He may help you! Dutifully so!

Do not do it! (http://www.russiablog.org/DontFeedtheTrolls.jpg)

Pray for my sanity. :D

Oh, and show me some skin!

I so have to construct some hot icons. And yow on Scott singing shirtless, yum!

Your sanity has escaped and is now roaming free!

As promised, Lacey was at the diner early in the morning to check up on Edward. (Was someone up all night worrying? No. Did you believe that? How gullible are you?)

"Wow, you've got them speechless already," she said as soon as she got a look at the cook's face. "I'm impressed."

Also kind of jealous. She never got them to react that way.

"Greeting's Lacey of Luke's Diner!" he replied boisterously and cheerfully.

"I am working hard!" He wasn't.

"The peasants are dutiful! Should you care to try the duck?" Prince Edward didn't even know if there was any duck.

"Just Lacey is fine," she said; she had one of those slightly glassy-eyed, slightly-too-bright smiles on her face, the kind that you tended to maintain because it kept you from backing away quickly. "And I see you're starting off with a very, um, positive attitude. Lots of enthusiasm, right?"

Slightly frail giggle. "Enthusiasm is good. . . . we have duck?"

"OoH, yes!" he replied, fisted hand on hip. "Positivity get's you everywhere! It is why I have not given up the search for my bride. My lovely, Giselle!"

A beat.

"Do you know her?"

Another beat.

"Who does not have duck?"

"Giselle? I can't say I do, but it's a very pretty name," Lacey said, throwing that compliment in there possibly for the entertainment value. "And duck's not your typical diner food. People think it's a little too fancy."

Did they even have a supplier who carried duck? She had a sudden horrified thought about the duck pond, and immediately squelched it.

He beamed. "Giselle is as pretty as her name. Ahhhh, I do wish to find her."

Sigh.

"What is typical diner food?" he asked. "Duck should be on every table!"

"Aww, you poor thing, how long has it been since you lost her?" The way Lacey said it, she was thinking of 'lost' as in the kind of 'lost' that resulted in "Why is the remote control in the crisper drawer?"

"And, you know, burgers. Fries. Sandwiches?" she tried. Oh god, did they have those things where he was from?

"Since..." he counted off days on his fingers, "...I've been here." He wasn't sure how many days. "Many many days."

He gave up on being married in the morning.

"Burgers! Fries! Sandwiches!" He had no clue. "I shall add those to the menu next week, lovely Lacey!"

Priestly'd had his fill of White Castle burgers and Five Guys fries in his food appreciation class. But he absolutely had to see how Edward handled his first day at the diner.

". . . Dude. Ogre?"

"Greeting's Priest!" he exclaimed jubilantly.

"Ah, yes, have you never slain an ogre before? Big, loud, obnoxious creatures, but nearly delightful when roasted."

Wow, that sounded . . . really, really gross. "I'm not sure I've ever seen an Ogre. We don't really have them in Santa Cruz."

"Ah, more's the pity. I hunt them in Andalasia, more for sport, but upon occassion one is roasted."

It should be said that there was no ogre in the diner. Prince Edward did not know this, therefore could not not say.

"Well, I hope you find her," Lacey said gently. "Other than that, is everything going okay so far?"

"Oooh, yes, Lacey! Everything is marvelous!"

And because he wanted to impress her, he repeated, "I am working hard!"

"Aren't they, like, vaguely humanoid?" What? Priestly wouldn't eat monkey, either. "And what do you do with the ones you kill and don't eat?"

*inappropriate boss behavior!*

Prince Edward gave him an odd look. Humanoid was decidedly a strange word. What did it mean?

Better to move on.

"Why we throw them in the lake or send them far far away!"

"You'd throw them in the lake?" That couldn't be sanitary. "Geez, what do your fish look like?"

Riiiiiiiight.

"It does take hard work to look that fabulous, yes," Lacey allowed.

"Dead and upon my plate!" he laughed loudly.

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Luke's Diner, Tuesday, 1/27

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