fandomtownies | The Woods, Tuesday evening

Priestly was wearing approximately six layers, including a scarf wrapped around and over his head to make room for his mohawk to stick up.

"I'm good," he said, because he was determined to get used to this whole cold business or die trying.

But, man, facial piercings and cold weather so didn't mix.

"Excellent," he said, moving to give him a manly pat on the shoulder.

Prince Edward was not cold. Not yet. He was wearing exactly what he always wore, puffy sleeves and all.

"The stars are not too bright this night; we will need much better light that this." But he had no idea how to get it.

Priestly "oof"ed softly at the manly pat, then dug into his pocket. "I've got a maglite." He pulled the small flashlight from his pocket and twisted it on. "There we go. That'll help a little."

Yes, he was aware of his own manly strength. Dipshit Lee beware!

"Whoa!" he exclaimed at seeing the light. "What is that thing!"

Priestly automatically turned the flashlight towards Edward. "Huh?" Right, crazy prince man from another dimension. "It's called a flashlight."

Blink blink.

He stepped forward to tap the tip of it. "What makes the light?"

"A light bulb?" Priestly was the best explainer ever! "And some batteries."

Tap tap tap.

"Most amazing, Priest! I should like to borrow it later! For now, can you kindly shine it upon the trees?"

Prince Edward then broke out into song, hoping beyond hope that his Giselle would hear and pick up her part.

"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss...!"

He paused, tilted his head to listen.

Priestly pointed the flashlight at the trees obligingly and watched his breath puff out.

It was sort of fascinating, wasn't it. Like he was making his own little private cloud army. Puff puff puff.

". . . You sure she knows that song?"

Prince Edward bestowed a look upon Priestly that clearly said, 'Do bears shit in the woods?'

"Let us ask the birds! Find one, Priest, and we shall question it!"

He was searching as well. Hopefully some winter woodsy creature knew something.

"Find a bird?" Priestly looked around, eyebrow raised. "At night, in the middle of winter?"

Well, maybe a barn owl or something. He flashed the flashlight up at the trees and heard something take off in his general direction, flapping wildly.

"Oh shit!" He ducked, arms coming up to protect his mohawk.

"They do sleep or hunt or any number of other things at night. In the middle of winter," he explained patiently.

Edward spun around, ready to protect his friend at all costs!

"What is it, Priest!?" he shouted, moving in a protective stance above his friend. He also unsheathed his wooden sword. Not dirty. He... well it was all he could come up with since he couldn't find his own!

Priestly, his arms still over his head, pointed lamely in the general direction of the sky. "Uh, think I found one. It went away, though."

He really hoped it did. Things shouldn't flap at him in the middle of a dark woods!

Prince Edward peered down at Priestly.

"Are you... afraid?"

Priestly slowly lowered his arms. ". . . No . . . it just startled me, is all."

He raised his brows.

"Never fear," he said, because clearly he thought the Priest was afraid. Just as all priests seemed to be at night. In the dark. In the woods. With creepy crawly... Ahem, "I am here and I shall keep you safe! Ah-hah!"

"Dude, I said I wasn't scared! It's just . . . really dark out here." Priestly reaimed his flashlight at the woods. "And that bird startled me."

"If you think ahead, you shall never be startled," he pointed out with his own kind of logic.

He sheathed his wooden sword and looked in the direction of the light.

"This way!" And Prince Edward skipped forward, going deeper into the woods, singing out as he moved.

"What does that even mean?" Priestly huffed, adjusted his coat, and started after the bouncing prince. "You are so full of it, dude. Like you've never been startled by something."

He paused, held up his hand, and listened.

Nothing but skittering.

"I hear a squirrel! Come along! And the mere thought of me being startled is amusing! Ahh-hah! But you are an amusing man!"

He looked forward. "Come forward, little wood rodent! I wish a word!"

"Yeah, I'm a laugh riot." Priestly stood back to watch Edward try to talk to a squirrel, and tried to keep an eye on the entire rest of the woods at once and not think about the possibility that this forest might be haunted or have witches.

What? This was the East Coast. East Coast woods were always haunted by witches. Like how mining towns always had sordid histories and summer camps were actually death traps.

Or possibly, he needed to watch less movies.

Edward tried. He really really did. But that squirrel popped him in the eye with an acorn.

He gasped! "I shall dispatch you rodent!" And he whipped out his sword once more.

"Priest! Get it!" he aimed his sword at the fleeing squirrel. "Hurry! We shall prevail!" And he started forward, for that tree, ready to climb it if need be.

Smart squirrel.

"Okay, seriously, are you on uppers or something?" Priestly shifted forward to look into the tree. He spotted the squirrel and offered it an apologetic shrug.

"Uppers?" he asked while trying to reach that squirrel.

"Really, I just want to know if you've seen her! It is not a difficult question, squirrel." There was chirping.

"Oh. I see." He didn't see. He could not dicipher chirping.

"This squirrel knows nothing. Let us move on, Priest."

"Speed?" Priestly offered. Then: "You understood that?"

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