The Preserve, Thursday Midday

[tyler_gone]

It was a bright, peaceful spring day in the preserve. Birds were singing, trees were budding, sleepy flowers were popping their heads above the ground.

And a zombie on a mission shambled through the woods, soliloquizing in an incoherent but constant stream of grunts, groans, and cries for "braaaaains. DEER brains."

One of these things did not belong.

The deer, luckily, were both smarter and faster than zombie Tyler. They scampered through the underbrush unseen.

[OOC: Open preserve! Let me know if you need bitten.]

Comments

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Going on a quick run through the preserve, Temari was more than certain she could outrun these things before they could reach her.

Investigating the enemy was always important, after all.

Of course, now that one looked a bit familiar... "Durden?"

[tyler_gone]

Tyler gave Temari a grotesque parody of a hopeful look. "GIRL!" he said, lumbering eagerly toward her.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Bringing up a kunai, Temari gave him a look of 'bitch please' for that. "I'd suggest staying where you are."

[tyler_gone]

Yeah, the zombie wasn't real big on suggestions. He kept clambering toward her. "Grrrrrprrrkkk," he groaned, which was zombie for, hold still, your brains look especially tasty.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari just sighed. "I don't want to kill you," She informed the... zombie.

Well, he had always seemed okay at Fight Club. It would be a shame.

[tyler_gone]

And Tyler didn't want to be killed again, so that worked out nicely for both of them. He made another moaning noise and stepped closer yet, hands twitching out to grab her.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

He was... very, very slow. Painfully slow. "What am I saying? You couldn't reach me in time."

[tyler_gone]

Zombie Tyler was quite agile, for a zombie, and took offense at that. "Braiiiiins," he said, lurching forward to take hold of her shoulder.

She might notice, as he closed in, that he was missing an earlobe, and his nose dripped some kind of foul goo constantly.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Another eyeroll and Temari was moving away. Maybe a little too slow. Taunting the zombie wasn't the wisest thing ever, you know.

[tyler_gone]

It didn't do much for one's life expectancy, no. The zombie flailed wildly toward her, trying to shove her into a conveniently modded tree trunk. He was drooling bile now, in anticipation of his delightful meal.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari brought the knife up to his throat. Like that threat would work. Really.

She was ready to move if he kept advancing.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler would rather she didn't cut his head completely off, but a slit throat wouldn't make much difference. But he growled and tried to swat her arm away anyhow, leaning in for a nice chomp at her wrist.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari hissed as he bit down, backhanding him to force the zombie to back off. A careless mistake. She'd have to get out of there and bandage it now.

[tyler_gone]

The backhand startled Tyler and made his jaws clamp down for an instant before he let go, howling in pain.

A gobbet of his cheek stuck to the girl's hand, and the look of a frightened animal flashed through his eyes.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"Disgusting..." Temari clutched the wound for a moment, frowning at him. Something didn't feel right.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler frowned back at her, wiping fresh blood off his mouth. "Braaaaaains?" he said, tentatively tryign to approach her again.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari snarled, trying to stay focused on what has happening here. But she was feeling dizzy and... brains?

He skin started to turn an odd shade of green, and everything seemed to just slooow down.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler watched with awe; if he'd been coordinated enough, he would have jumped for joy. As it was, he kind of hopped, one foot flapping down awkwardly.

"Pretty," he said, then he galumphed off in search of the elusive teal deer.

Zombies, it appeared, were not incredibly sentimental about the moment of creation.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Like a baby bird taking the the sky for the first time, Temari... shambled off toward a random noise. "Braaaaains."

[notanactualfairy]

Jean-Paul was out flying--and wondering what was up with the five voicemail messages Steve Rogers had left on his phone asking if he was all right--when he saw something odd down below and came in for a landing. "Are you all right?" he called.

He really should have listened to radio. Or called Steve back.

[tyler_gone]

The zombie tilted his head way, way back, causing glop to drip out of the top of his head.

Flying. Brains. It was beautiful.

The noise he made should have convinced Jean-Paul that he was not, in fact, all right.

[notanactualfairy]

Was this going to be some kind of horrible virus or something? "Monsieur? Do you need medical attention?" Jean-Paul approached the zombie that was Tyler.

[tyler_gone]

The zombie didn't understand those words, but he stumbled toward Jean-Paul anyhow. "Braaaaaains?" he asked hopefully.

Someday, someone would just donate them to him, he was sure....

[notanactualfairy]

Oh, crisse. "Non, monsieur zombie," Jean-Paul said warily. "You may not have my brains." He began to approach the zombie, hoping to subdue it, but past events perhaps made him a little slow with fear.

[tyler_gone]

The zombie took several more large, lumbering steps toward Jean-Paul, leaving part of his foot (he'd long since lost the shoe) behind when he almost tripped on an exposed root.

He made a glottal noise, indicating he would really, really, really enjoy eating Jean-Paul's brains if he'd just rethink his silly dedication to them. After all, life as a zombie was fantastic!

[notanactualfairy]

Jean-Paul took a step back. Probably not far enough back. "You are not a very smart zombie, are you?"

[tyler_gone]

The zombie scrunched up his face in confusion, making a questioning noise. He was plenty smart!

To prove it, he lunged toward Jean-Paul, arms scissoring together in an attempted grotesque bear hug.

[notanactualfairy]

Jean-Paul supersped away, just out of the zombie's reach. "Sorry, but I have standards."

[tyler_gone]

Now this was a challenge. These brains moved extra-fast!

The zombie reached out again, growling as he tried to grab at Jean-Paul's clothing.

[notanactualfairy]

Jean-Paul looked down and saw that the zombie had snagged his sleeve. Oh, merde. And he didn't have superstrength as well as speed. "Monsieur, we can talk about this..."

[tyler_gone]

"Rrrrrrgggghhh," the zombie snorted, which seemed to mean he doubted it. He jerked the man closer to himself, aiming to bite down hard on his shoulder.

[notanactualfairy]

"Noooooooooooooo!"

But it was no use. He'd been bitten. "Not again!"

[tyler_gone]

Again? What a lucky human, to get to become a zombie again! Tyler swallowed the sweet, sweet blood, took another nibble to tide him over, and then stood back to watch the inevitable transformation.

[notanactualfairy]

It didn't take long. A few minutes later there was a French-Canadian zombie.

Too bad he wasn't quite as ninja this time. "Cerveaaaauuuux?" he asked Tyler.

[tyler_gone]

Tyler didn't even speak French when he was a person, but there was only one thing zombies wanted. "BRAAAAAINS," he said happily, then gestured toward town. Lots of brains were there, he felt. They should go get some.

The quest for a deer was entirely forgotten.

[notanactualfairy]

Ah, yes, the universal language of zombies. "Cerveaaaaauuuux," Jean-Paul agreed, and started shambling toward the town.