fandomtownies | Covent Garden Flowers, Thursday, July 23

...by lunch break, Fiona wasn't even thinking of where to go so much as needing to get out of the 'sex shop'; she fled across the street and put her head down on the counter with her eyes closed in an attempt to calm down.

In the flower shop.

On the plus side, Dinah was here? Not that she realized that yet.

[if you'd like to do this another time, lemme know, tags can be deleted ^_^]

[np, today's good, just slow!]

Dinah paused in misting an orchid to take a look at Fiona, and bite her lip. Radio had not been encouraging about what was going on with Fiona the last couple days, and this ... was not exactly hopeful-looking either.

Dinah gave her a minute, then misted another flower, and picked it up to wander over to the counter, putting the spray bottle down.

"Hey," she said, hoping not to startle Fiona.

She was startled, but thankfully not in a bad way. She looked up and yes, there were signs of anger on her face, but it was also pretty obvious that she'd been crying.

"Hey," she said back, drawing herself back up to stand.

"Sorry. I just kind of-- straight across. Hi."

"It's fine. Really." Dinah leaned both elbows on the counter, studying Fiona, then pushed the orchid over for her to smell. "This one's spicy. A little like cinnamon." She cocked her head. "Want a tissue?"

She immediately rubbed at her eyes, giving herself away, but she shook her head.

"No. It was this morning."

But she bent over to sniff at the flower, smiling a little in reflex. It was like cinnamon. And the spiciness was actually rather nice.

"Sucky week?" Dinah asked, perching her chin on her hand. "I heard stuff on Radio. No idea how accurate it was, it was all out of order."

She glanced over from the flower.

"Got into a fight with Arthur; we're not doing lessons anymore. Ino hates me. I got to help someone deal with their mother's dead body. Oh, and I totally ruined everything with Griff."

The wry smile was fake, but she had to do something.

Edited 2009-07-23 15:52 (UTC)

"Very sucky." Dinah returned the fake smile with one equally wry. "I was there for the one with Arthur. Tried to ignore it, but..." Yeah, what could you say? Worst of the rest first, though. "Whose mom died?" Griff and Fiona were totally too complicated to start out with.

She felt odd mentioning it but--

"Peyton. Her biological mother. We were just going to bring her the CD that Peyton had made and we found her there."

Correction.

"Peyton found her there. That was... right after everything with Griff went to hell."

Yes, she had learned that little colloquialism and figured it fit.

"Poor Peyton." Dinah remembered talking to her, ages ago, about whether or not to seek out her biological mom. But ages ago was really only five months or so, and to lose her so soon... "And that had to be horrible. I'm sorry you had to help deal with it."

She was quiet a minute, then said, "So what happened with Griff? The last time you told me how things were going, you were thrilled and happy and kissing him."

Mist mist the orchid, and then reach for the tiger-lily, eyes still on Fiona.

She closed her eyes and leaned back against the counter.

"We decided to go on a date. He got me flowers. It was-" it almost sounded like she was going to say 'wonderful' but what came out was "nice" if only to save her own feelings.

"We were walking, drinking our drinks, and he asked me about Leto. And I told him the truth. And he stared at me like I was crazy."

Her head dropped.

"Then he said he wasn't ready for someone to love him. I told him I wasn't ready to love anybody but... it's not like you can turn it off. He wasn't sure we should do 'this'."

She swallowed.

"I told him 'fine' cause it's not like you can change how you feel."

Just like she couldn't change how she felt.

Dinah facepalmed. Really, what else could she do? "Oh, Fiona." Because as sympathetic as she was to Fiona, that was just such a trainwreck of momentum and stubborness, she didn't even know where to start.

She put her head in her hands.

"Then he said that he didn't know what he wanted and then I kind of... exploded."

Oh, she couldn't face Dinah as she said this.

"I didn't get how he could get so upset that I kissed Leto when he was staring at people's breasts not a day ago and he'd done who knew what with Brooke of all people. Leto and I, well, I pulled back after I talked to some people, weeks ago. I tried to keep it mostly friendly but Leto's, you know, Leto. And I like it. I don't think of it like that, but it's nice. I just..."

She wasn't in love with Leto. Both of them knew that.

"It just felt like I either liked him too much or not enough. I even told him that if it was really bothering him, I'd tell Leto we couldn't be as close. But no. He doesn't know what he wants."

She swallowed.

"I just know it's not me."

Dinah sighed. "Okay, no idea what Griff's feeling on this is. And... do you just want sympathy? Just for me to say, 'that really sucks' again?" She misted the tiger-lily, then squirted some water in her mouth, then held it out toward Fiona, head cocked. "'Cause it does, I get that. And I'm sorry you're hurting."

There was the unspoken suggestion that maybe there was something else Dinah could say too, though.

She thought about it.

"No. It won't-- no."

"There's three or so things that were gonna confuse a guy, any guy, who was not Leto Atreides. I know you probably didn't know that, since, well. You've only dated Robert, and your mom didn't let you out of the house, so... I mean, where could you learn this stuff?" Dinah shrugged, giving Fiona a rueful look. "And Griff's a guy. And hasn't dated much, I think." Or at all, if she remembered what he'd told her right.

"So, it's not like he'd be likely to even know how to say it. And the big part of that is yeah, Leto. And the other big part is telling someone you love them." She paused, and added, "I'm not an expert, Fiona. Okay? Just saying, if I can barely make sense of it knowing Leto, and not being a guy who wants to date you, it was probably going to throw a fairly typical guy like Griff."

She nodded, listening and... thinking about what Peyton had said. That he was going slow with her because she mattered. And what Aphrodite had said, about how he was just scared.

"I didn't mean for him to know about the 'love' thing. I didn't even want to admit to it myself, but then there was singing and it just kind of happened. And I was-- I thought if he'd done things, I should do things, only--"

She needed to stop cutting herself off.

"It hurt so much when he said we shouldn't even try. Like it would change how I felt. Like I could turn it off. Only I can't and I can't stop being angry. Which" she swallowed "is just going to lead to me turning evil or something, apparently."

Dinah frowned, and made a little time-out gesture with her hands. "If he'd done things, you should do things?" she asked, looking confused. "Things? And which he?" Then she frowned even more. "Wait, angry equals evil how?"

She looked up.

"I was originally a lot more physical with Leto. Then, after I talked to you and a couple of other people, I pulled back. No more making out. Nothing like that. Friends. So Griff wouldn't be confused.

"But I guess I thought that if he was, I don't know, looking at other girls like that, and doing things with them that he didn't want to be limited either. That he didn't think we were" and she didn't know to use the term 'exclusive' but the hand gesture was trying really hard.

...yeah, this was a giant clusterfuck of people who had no idea what to say.

She shook her head, as if to say 'different topic' before waving it off.

"That was Ben. Yesterday. It's not important."

More facepalming. In addition to head-countering. "You're making my head hurt," Dinah mumbled into the wood grain. "Both of you. And Griff's not even here." Not to mention Leto. Who just did not get 21st Century boundaries, God.

She sighed and looked up from the counter, hands folded under her chin again. "Fiona. I have to ask. Do you like being angry all the time?"

She looked absolutely flabbergasted at that.

"No!"

She hated it, more than anything. She hated feeling like she was going to lose control over herself, hated slipping up because she couldn't think past the rage.

"It's just the only one I don't have to work at."

"Okay, so... I had a week like this. Where people were accusing me of being a bouncy sunshine busybody." Dinah made a face. "And they were half right. On all counts. Anyway, you've pissed off Arthur and Ino--" Not that that was hard for either of them with the wrong approach. Which Dinah kinda guessed Fiona had, from what she'd seen in the salle. Tact, not an anagram for Fiona Post. "Things imploded with Griff. You got frustrated and really hurt, and boom." She made a little exploding gesture with her hand. "And you hate it." She bit her lip, then said, "The one thing I can think of is you need brakes."

Then, more curiously, "Do you still want to be friends with Griff?"

She shook her head.

"I didn't do anything to Ino. I don't know what that was about."

Really really really. As Tyler had said, there were people with much more than she had at Fight Club.

"Like I said. You can't turn it off. How I feel about Griff."

And she didn't want to be like her mother, desperately in love and hate at the same time.

Edited 2009-07-23 17:36 (UTC)

Given her own lovely experience with Ino, Dinah was inclined to believe it. She wasn't some terrible person, and she was a good fighter, but wow, Ino Had Issues.

"Noooo, you can't turn off what you feel, but you can slow it down. And what you do-- that's under your control still." Dinah gave her a mildly exasperated look, not sure if this was Fiona being fifteen or Fiona being a demi-goddess or Fiona being Fiona.

"Look. What do you want, with Griff, right now? What do you want to do, and what do you want from him?"

If Eliot were here, he'd say it was a little bit of everything with a dash of parental headf*@k. As it was, Fiona tried to look stubborn, failed, then flopped against the counter.

"I want... I want to curl up next to him on the beach. Kiss his cheek. Talk to him about how" and she didn't even realize she was crying a little "crappy his water looks when he draws and tell him about Peyton's CD. Or maybe just watch the water. I want to practice my Spanish with him and hold his hand when we walk and show him" oh, that was a little more "that I still have the flowers he gave me in my alcove."

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