Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

[scruffnfeathers]

It was that time again, time for Castiel's weekly sermon.

After the reactions to last week and how confused it made people, he decided to go with a topic he could get more . . . particular on.

This was not necessarily a good thing.

"I would like to speak to you all today," he said, "about Hell."

Really not a good thing.

See, Castiel had been to Hell. He'd seen it, and what it did to souls. He'd seen how it could turn otherwise good, righteous people into twisted things that delighted in the pain of others, how after decades of torture a soul could forget the very things that made them them in favor of the promise of not having to hurt any more.

And he went into particulars. About tortures he'd seen used. In detail.

This was not for the faint of heart.

Not to say, of course, that Castiel seemed to be enjoying telling you all this. His expression ranged from stoic sadness to mild disgust -- a decent range for a guy like Cass -- all underscored with a deep, honest pity for those who would suffer these torments. And he finished off with "Heaven is much nicer."

Dude needed to hire a speech writer. For serious.

Comments

Flee the angel

[scruffnfeathers]

Or ignore him or whathaveyou.

Seriously, what the heck should I call this thread?

Re: Flee the angel

[thatsamilkshake]

How about the Stare In Horror thread?

It's what Francine would be doing, anyway.

Re: Flee the angel

[bitchprince]

A respectable amount of minutes after the moment Arthur imagined any respectable sermon would be respectably done, he sent a text message.

How was church?

Knowing timezones, it was a crapshot as to when it actually arrived.

Re: Flee the angel

[thatsamilkshake]

If she had a full keyboard, Arthur would totally have gotten akjasdhalksjdhaskljdhaskljdhklasjdhaklsdhipuh as a reply.

As it was, he got HE IS TALKING ABOUT HELL. THERE ARE FISH-HOOKS AND SANDPAPER. MAKE HIM STOP.

Re: Flee the angel

[bitchprince]

There was a few minutes of absolutely no response at all.

Then she got an encouraging, At least they've moved on from being cooked alive in a broth of magic user's

Ah, religion with Uther Pendragon.

Ah, long live the early accidental pressing of the 'send' key.

Re: Flee the angel

[thatsamilkshake]

Magic user's what?

Thirty seconds later:

OMG don't answer that! I so don't want to know.

Re: Flee the angel

[bitchprince]

OMG?

Yes, that was the important part.

Re: Flee the angel

[glacial_queen]

After her last conversation with the angel, Karla had decided to come and listen to him talk. He was nothing like the Priestesses she was used to, that was for damn sure.

And his speech about Hell? LIES. She sat through the sermon, getting angrier and angrier until he was done. "That's not what Hell is like at all!" she hissed. "Uncle Saetan wouldn't do anything like that!"

Re: Flee the angel

[thatsamilkshake]

This was going to be one of Those conversations, Karla. The kind where Francine looks at you like you are her brain on drugs, and asks, "...The devil is your uncle?"

Re: Flee the angel

[glacial_queen]

That's okay. Karla's just pretty much assuming that's what Francine normally looks like.Most of their conversations get that look eventually.

"Devil?" Karla asked. "What's that? Is that another title for the High Lord of Hell? It doesn't sound very...complimentary."

She thought about the word for a moment, then shrugged and answered the rest of Francine's questions. "Uncle Saetan isn't my real uncle. He's my best friend's guardian. He sent me here, in fact." To keep me safe. "I just spent the last two weeks visiting them, though it was only one week here, I guess."

Re: Flee the angel

[thatsamilkshake]

"...Hell sent you here." That... actually made a bit of sense considering Karla's personality. "They couldn't handle you?" Francine grinned.

Re: Flee the angel

[glacial_queen]

If Karla had any idea what Francine meant, she so stick her tongue out right then.

Instead, she was just busy correcting the mistake. "I had to cross Hell to get here, but I didn't come from Hell. I came from Kaeleer. Hell is the Realm of the dead, of course."

The 'why' Karla was here was a little more tricky. But the grin suggested Francine was teasing and Karla wasn't going to bring that down. "Are you trying to say that I'm the kind of girl the High Lord of Hell wouldn't want his daughter associating with?" Karla laughed.

Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Point out that the tough guy with the heart of gold who sat in the back and pretended to sleep had actually fainted. And he'll point out that the little old lady who sat in the front and everyone watched for when to stand and when to kneel had seemed to enjoy it, what with how she spent the sermon cackling quietly. . . .

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bau-beefcake.livejournal.com]

Morgan was in the confessional as the angel went at his 'sermon' and by the end, he was, uh...

Oh God, did he just end with 'Heaven is much nicer'?

That totally wasn't a snort coming from the confessional. It utterly wasn't.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Castiel made his way over the confessional once the service was completed.

"Everything alright, Derek?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bau-beefcake.livejournal.com]

Derek. Man, no one called him that. Sounded kind of funny, but he could dig it.

"Sure. I'm cool. Just, uh, doing the upholstery. I should actually be pretty much done with things by the end of today."

Which was sad, since he liked the church.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Castiel would point out that it was Morgan's name.

He was just getting good at the whole "calling people by their first name, not first and last name" thing. Trying to just call them by their last name might throw him.

"Excellent. Though I admit, I've grown used to your presence while you were working."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bau-beefcake.livejournal.com]

And he'd point out that no one but JJ and his mother touched Reid's first name with a ten foot pole. It just wasn't cool, dammit.

But for the angel, he'd deal.

"Hey, you're always welcome at the hardware store. And I'm sure something'll break eventually. This place has a few years on it."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Does it?" Castiel actually hadn't noticed. He had more than a few years on the building, after all. "And thank you. Perhaps I'll stop by on occasion. I am curious to learn more about carpentry."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"You know, the guy in the back isn't as much of a badass as his clothes would lead you to believe," Chuck said after the sermon. He actually liked the sermon. That's the cool stuff he liked to hear about, even if it scared the fuck out of him.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"The leather jacket does appear to be an attempt at shielding himself, yes," said Castiel.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Leather jackets usually are used for that purpose," he said, wrinkling up his nose. They were so tacky. "I think you might have scared away about half of your congregation with that sermon."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"But that would probably lead them further down the path to the tortures I just described. Do you think I needed to be more specific?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Believe me, you were specific enough," Chuck told him. "I think that imagery is going to stick with people. And give them nightmares."

OOC

[scruffnfeathers]

Yeah, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Except I did spend the morning at the DMV. So, you know, Hell and Pergatory were on my mind.