Trooper Station, Friday

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"I hate this friggin' island, Ralph."

Ralph sighed, and shot Ray - and his boobs, Ray figured - another look. Yeah, so Ray had said that a couple of times that morning, but that didn't matter, right?

Hey, the troopers were recuperating from being toy-whatsits, now they were broads, that was just a move up in the world or something. Ray, though? Ray, yeah, that was different.

"Get me more coffee," he ordered, and sank back in Coop's chair. His chair. Whichever. Like the past couple of weeks hadn't been messed-up enough for starters.

(Do not think the word 'Malibu', Ray)

"I hate this friggin' island."

[[ open station! ]]

Comments

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

Reese noticed that the Troopers were... different and wandered in, coffee in hand.

"Did we get new recruits or--" she stopped when she saw an unfamiliar woman on the boss's chair. "You're not the boss."

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"I hate this friggin' island, Reese."

Ralph rolled his eyes. Apparently Ray had found a new target today.

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, that's almost a given," Reese replied automatically trying to place her. The woman looked like a cop, sat like a cop. The way she sort of sulked in the chair also seemed familiar. There was a spark of suspicion in her head remembering one particular file she stared at long and hard. No way. No way. Just NO.

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

Ray rubbed his forehead. A lot. Damn-- long hair. He yanked it back behind his ear. "Reese, it's me. Stop gawking at me, I'm gonna think my head turned blue or something."

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

No way. No way. No way. She... she can't be her boss. Reese opened her mouth to say so. Reese was damned good with words when she wanted to, she can get perps sweating until they broke.

And with this in mind Reese was about to launch into something eloquent why the strange woman cannot be her boss but what came out was, "Nuh-uh."

Oh, wow. That was mature.

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

Ray stared at her. "Yeah-huh," he shot back, maturely. "What, are you looking for a pay decrease? You got the files, right?"

He looked like a chick. He was allowed to be a little crabby.

... What excuse he used for most other days out of the week, no one could be sure.

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

"But you're a girl," so are you, Reese. "I mean, you were y'know, a guy now you're a-- like me," she gestured to herself, the boobs especially.

The speaking skills? Seemed to be disappearing.

She buried her face in her hands, she seemed to be doing that a lot these days. "How the hell do you handle this sober?"

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, just like all the troopers," he snapped. "I dunno. Go to Disneyland, or something."

What? He was the one with the boobs here. "Listen, this happened once last year, right when I came in. I blame Fraser."

You blame Fraser for everything, Ray.

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

"Sheriff," Gibbs said with a nod as she breezed by Ray's office to her own desk.

The phone rang and she answered with a "Yeah. Gibbs." He listened for a moment before replying with : "Put on a bra and call tomorrow if you don't change back."

Then he unplugged the phone.

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

There was a beat.

Ray threw a look his way.

"Hey! Gibbs!"

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

"What?" she replied sharply as she started stacking up the paperwork for the day.

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"Can you put that on a, uh, tape, and plug it into the switchboard?" Ray hollered. "Might actually get some work done if we, uh, handle that."

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

Gibbs frowned at the phone. It sounded vaguely technical.

"We got a manual for that?"

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

Great. The blind leading the blind.

"... I don't know," Ray said. "But I know it can be done. Maybe grab Reese?"

You were so awesome at this, Ray.

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

"I'll have Roy do it," Gibbs replied.

He probably meant Ralph.

"You need a bra?" he asked matter-of-factly.

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

There were a couple of things Reese could do here. There was the drinking option but Ray wouldn't want that, there was the 'bang her head on the wall until she was unconscious' option, there was the 'laugh rather than cry' option or she could just... roll with it. Didn't the Buddha say something about accepting things you cannot change, yadda, yadda? Wait, no, that was AA.

"I thought you'd have more white hair," Reese remarked after thinking of and discarding several opening statements. That seemed... safer. Less brain breaker.

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. Well. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful," Gibbs snarked. "You know anything about the phone system?"

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Some," Reese said. She wasn't answering her phone. She wasn't touching her phone with a ten foot pole until this whole thing's done. Voicemail is a wonderful thing. "Why?"

Oh, Reese, why do you have to be so curious?

[famous-gut.livejournal.com]

"Ray wants a taped message telling everyone to stop calling us if they've turned into a woman," Gibbs replied as he started looking through his drawer for a manual.

[gunandcoffee.livejournal.com]

"Doesn't sound hard," Reese said and remembered what Day told her about Gibbs and Kowalski. She got up, went to one of the phones. "Ralph, c'mere."

Yeah, that wasn't Ralph did Reese care? No.

"Anythin' else you want in the message?"

[justice-beat.livejournal.com]

There was a slight pause at the office door.

And then another to remind herself that you look good with boobs was not something to say to your boss.

Instead, Daisy just gave a very formal nod of her head and congratulated herself on her ability to keep a straight face. "Sheriff."

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"Day," Ray called, sounding kinda frazzled. "What?"

[justice-beat.livejournal.com]

"Won't keep you long, sir," promised Daisy, keeping very composed and straight-faced. "Phones are ringing off the hooks; I think something might be going on. Ralph and I were thinking of going out and trying to keep a little bit of the peace, but I have a feeling we'll just get a lot of old women telling us to get off their lawn."

Which happened quite a lot, actually.

"Thought I'd come get your opinion before we made any distinct plans for handling the situation, sir."

No, she just wanted to come give him a hard time, although if he did give his opinion, she'd actually wind up following it.

[headkickpoet.livejournal.com]

"I'm making Gibbs make a tape for the phones."

That would at least keep some of the floodgates shut.

"But a patrol does not sound bad." This was so not Ray's brand of policing, but he could go with it. "Answer questions, stuff like that. Help the community."

He was going to brain himself.

[justice-beat.livejournal.com]

Deal with people going around pretending to be his girlfriend...

Daisy nodded. "I can get right on that, Sheriff," she said.

And it got her out of phone duty, too.