fandomtownies | Dite's Decadent Delights; Friday [ 08/21 ].

Entry tags:

Dite's Decadent Delights; Friday [ 08/21 ].

The last day of phys ed class had definitely left Valentine incredibly exhausted and sore and never, ever, ever wanting to do anything like that again, which, to her, just proved that the IF was right about one thing: she'd probably be too physically lazy to ever be a good soldier, although she might not have been so bad or adverse to it if she'd been training since she was five like most Battle School students would have been. Right now, though, twelve years after the fact, she was very definitely not a physical person.

She was, however, a cerebral type, and so giving the brain a nice little push off the edge was always welcome. There were plenty of options for that around here, too, but Valentine found the best ones to be in the form of crazy toys from Japan, which she brought out to proudly display and hopefully make people who came in uncomfortable. She had to admit, though, that the most interesting one to her wound up being the assumingly innocent Egg. Man, she'd never get over how completely innovative the Japanese were.

Dite's Decadent Delights is open!

[[ and those links are totally, totally NWS. Who the hell allowed me to have this job, anyway? ]]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Let her show you how to work the Egg. It'll be fun!

It's scary, after all, how some of those toys are the tamer ones, so no one would blame you.

I'm actually disappointed by the results given to me in my search and I'm sure that if I hadn't wanted to get this up soon, I'd have found some even better gems.

Seriously. Who gave me this job??

The majority of Veronica's belongings were currently in transit from Fandom to LA. Minus a few suitcases that she was taking to Disney with her.

However, now she was bored and had the rest of the day to kill. So she wandered in to the shop and decided to buy some presents for her housemates.

The purpose of DDD posts is to link weird and kinky toys on the web.

What, that wasn't in your contract?

I actually didn't read the contract. I'm in the very bad habit of just putting my name on random things. I thought she wanted an autograph!

"Hey," Valentine lifted a hand in a light, casual greeting, which she figured was typically the best idea for a person in this particular business. "If you need any help finding anything..." She trailed off, always figuring it was the nice thing to do to just let a person have their space when enhancing their sex.

"Thanks," Veronica said. "I'm actually looking for some gifts. So if you have any suggestions..."

There was a pause, an appropriate pause for a dangerous question like that, and Valentine gave a glance toward her collected display of Japanese...self-help items.

"Well," she said, "do they eat much Ramen?"

"Not that I know of," Veronica said, wondering what the heck Ramen had to do with sex toys.

Valentine shrugged. "That was just a starting point, anyway. What kind of gift are you looking for, anyway? Something like more of a gag, or something you're hoping to make a good impression with? Or maybe even something that says, 'no, I'm never going to sleep with you, but maybe this'll hold you over'?"

The categories made Veronica laugh. "I'd say we're leaning more towards the gag gift end of things."

Smirking a little and glad to hear that she played that one right, Valentine said, "We've got plenty for that, then. How many people are we looking to buy stuff for, and did you want to get them all something individual, or shall I direct you to the party packs of random dirty stuff?"

"Well, there's two couples, one male/male and one male/female and a trio of two guys and a girl," she said. "So, at least three gifts."

Valentine nodded a little. "You're just pretty much running a nice spectrum of relationships there, aren't you?" she commented. "Well, let's start with the first one I guess. How about...maybe something edible?"

Or edible if they were cheesy enough to actually eat it, but Valentine was working with some ideas here, and wondering if she should be worried that she was actually putting thought into this...and knew the product well enough to have a few ideas where to go, even.

"Hmmm, I don't think edible works for them," Veronica said, considering that Angel didn't generally eat food. "Maybe for the male/female couple though."

"Then allow me," said Valentine, moving from behind the counter and drifting toward the novelty items, "to introduce you to the candy cock ring (http://secure.condomania.com/prodinfo.asp?number=E-CANDY-CR). And if you friends might be a little bolder about putting foodstuff close to their private parts, there's a g-string (http://www.epartyunlimited.com/candy-g-string.html), bra (http://www.epartyunlimited.com/candy-bra.html), and loincloth (http://www.epartyunlimited.com/candy-posing-pouch.html)."

Okay, Valentine could so not keep a straight face at all of those, though she tried.

. . . I'm sorry, I'll just be over here laughing over "get this up soon."

I CAN'T HELP IT.

...

Veronica was definitely chuckling. And she was trying very hard not to get mental images of Piper and Lindsey using this stuff.

"Okay, I like those," she said. "Give me two sets."

Hey, she was a newlywed!

"A very good choice," Valentine said, as approvingly as she could while chuckling and seriously considering who she herself could make flail with something like that. She put aside the merchandise for Veronica and then went back to tackle some of the other couples.

"Now, really, you can't go wrong with maybe a set of dirty dice (http://www.triplexlive.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWCATS&Category=3140&gclid=CLXi283QtZwCFSMeDQodd2XJnQ) and some hot guys playing cards (http://www.toy4pleasure.com/detail.aspx?fid=13&cid=0&pid=5813). We've got a ton of different dice, too."

Edited 2009-08-21 20:53 (UTC)

"Oooh, yeah, I think both of those would work for the two guys," Veronica said. After all, she knew how much Logan liked to play cards. And she had a feeling those two would enjoy the dice.

"We're making pretty good progress!" Valentine said, chuckling a little, not so much because of the progress, but more of the idea that a virgin who'd never even been kissed before seemed to have a knack for this. It was all brain work, anyway. Stuff she was good at.

"Now to just narrow it down to something fun for a whole group..."

Valentine pushed that brain into working toward these entirely whimsical means and then asked, "Do they like poker?

"You know, I'm not sure," Veronica admitted. "But thank you so much for all of your help."

"Hey, no problem," Valentine said. "That's what I'm here for, right? And, if anything, I'm sure someone could figure out how to play this lover's poker game (http://www.adameve.com/sexy-extras/adult-games/sp-poker-for-lovers-4723.aspx) even without the poker part."

Veronica nodded. "That would definitely work. And, ooh."

She pulled a package (http://www.adameve.com/sexy-extras/sex-furniture-props/sp-bree-olsons-kitten-with-a-whip-set-13778.aspx) from the shelf. "One of these, too, I think."

"You got it," Valentine said with an approving smirk. "Anything else? I mean, hell, everyone else getting something, why should you go home empty handed? I mean, unless that last one...?" She trailed off, letting her smirk make the suggestion all on its own.

Hey, this job clearly came with teasing the customers a little benefits.

"Well... got anything for newlyweds?" Veronica couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, congratulations," on the beginning of the end...

"How about a nice healthy dose of Monogamy (http://www.femail.com.au/game-monogamy.htm)?"

Wow. Veronica just realized that she would never have sex with anyone but Dick again. That was kind of major.

"Okay, sure, that looks like fun."

Monotony looks like fun.

Valentine hoped that she never, ever in a million years got married. And now she wondered if, in five years, this wee tiny blonde got fat.

"Cool; let's ring you up, then."

Edited 2009-08-21 22:31 (UTC)

"Sounds good to me," Veronica said.

If she could read Valentine's narrative, she would point out that she never in a million years expected to be married. And she would definitely not end up fat omg.

And if Valentine's narrative could read into the future, it would so not be snarking about being unexpectedly married by a long shot.

It would, however, appreciate the irony of the fact that it did now.

So Valentine rang Veronica up, told her the ~~handwavey~~ total, and told her that she hoped her friends enjoyed their gifts.

"Eh, I don't care if they enjoy them," Veronica admitted. "I just know I'll enjoy the looks on their faces when I give the gifts to them."

"In that case," Valentine said, "maybe you should take pictures, too."

"I'll have to see what I can do," Veronica said.

THANK YOU. I was thinking it was just me and my dirty mind, but... thank you. I feel validated.

Here to help!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Dite's Decadent Delights; Friday [ 08/21 ].

Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Mod your Shopping -- 08/21.

OOC -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: Talk to Valentine -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.

Re: OOC -- 08/21.